


A FAMILY TORN APART

by weepingelm



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Complete, DEATH OF HUNITH/BALINOR, EXTREME CHILDHOOD POVERTY IN INDIA, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Serious Injuries, aircrash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-03-28 17:59:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 91,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3864364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepingelm/pseuds/weepingelm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Balinor and Hunith Emrys take one of their sons on a business trip little did they know the horrors that would follow and how their children's lives would never be the same again. Follow Merlin's fight for survival and the effects of grief on his older brother and how eventually through a strange twist of fate they are reunited. But can their friends help them adapt to the changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. BAD NEWS

August 2000

Pendragon Household

“Come on Gwaine! you need to eat your breakfast we have a lot to do today, your Mum, Dad and Merlin are due back later and I know you want to come to collect them from the airport.” Ygraine Pendragon called out to the eight year old who had been staying with her family while the rest of his family had been away. Gwaine Emrys was best friends with her son Arthur and had asked if he could stay with him rather than fly off with the rest of his family while his father went on a business trip. 

A very outgoing boy Gwaine had made friends with Arthur when they had started school, and together with Leon Knight they had soon become almost joined at the hip. The boys often stayed at each other’s houses during the holidays. Gwaine and Arthur came running into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

Gwaine looked up at the lady he called Aunt Ygraine “Is Mordred coming as well?”

Ygraine smiled “Of course he is I’m not about to leave a one year old on his own am I”

Hunith Emrys had reluctantly left her baby with the Pendragon’s as she thought the journey would be too much for such a small child. The deal Australia had been very important to Balinor and the CEO of the company that wanted to buy there product had requested he take his wife and children but in the end they only took their middle son Merlin. At four he had wanted to go, he was a real mummy’s boy and didn’t like to be parted from her. As he was starting school in September Balinor had agreed. That way at least one of his children would be with him to mollify the business man.

“Can’t we leave him with Morgana?” Gwaine said “He will only cry in the car”

“No we can’t! Morgana is only six! Anyway she is coming as well” Ygraine explained. 

Arthur looked at his mother “Does she have to, she spoils our fun”

“Yes she does Arthur now stop being mean to your sister.”

A man entered the kitchen and looked at Arthur and tussled his blonde hair “She thinks you’re a pest as well Son” He looked around “Talking of Morgana, where is she?”

“She’s already had her breakfast and is sitting with Mordred for me” Ygraine explained.

“Come on boys eat up then you can go and play on your computer for a while before we leave.” The people who worked for Uther Pendragon would have been amazed at the fond smile he was giving the two boys. At his company he was known as a harsh business man, but here it was different, he was with his family that meant the world to him. He and Balinor ran a business together and were as close as brothers, and he considered his partners children as members of his extended family. 

The two men had started a computer software company together years before and it was flourishing Uther was a very shape and astute man who realised that his friend could help grow his business in ways he couldn’t. Balinor Emrys was also Earl of Essetir, and therefore his title opened up areas that might have otherwise been harder to break into. Not that that was Balinor’s only contribution to the business. Uther was the ideas man, and the computer geek, but Balinor was an expert negotiator and numbers man. Uther knew his brusque manner wasn’t ideal when dealing with people but that Balinor could charm the birds from trees when he wanted to, be could also be tough when needed. Luckily their two wives were also the best of friends.

Uther heard the phone ring and went into his office, he came back white as a sheet, and his wife by now was alone in the kitchen. She looked at Uther “What’s the matter love?”

“Sit down” he told his wife when she was sat he sat next to her “That was the office, there has been a plane crash, I rang Heathrow and it was Balinor’s plane, it crashed in India, the rescue services have arrived at the site and there are no reports of survivors. What the hell I’m I to say to Gwaine?”

“Oh my god!” Ygraine looked at her husband “Are they sure, where they on the plane, perhaps they missed it” she was as shocked as he was.

He shook his head “They boarded, the search team is still looking, the plane went down in a remote area in the mountains, but they have flown helicopters in.”

“They might still be alive” Ygraine told her husband. “When will they know?” 

“They have my number we just have to wait”

“Then let the children play for now, we weren’t due to leave for an hour.” Ygraine paused her voice breaking “if they are…..” she couldn’t say the worlds “The boys have no one except for their Grandfather Gaius, can we take them in?”

“Do you need to ask? They’re family anyway.” Uther pulled himself together “We must be strong Ygraine, we don’t know for sure yet.”

It was an hour later when Uther’s phone rang he went into the office Ygraine with him. After getting the news they sat holding each other. No survivors had been found, it was assumed all had perished many burning up with the plane. Uther pulled himself away from his wife. “I’ll bring Gwaine in here, then tell Arthur and Morgana.”

“Uther tell them together Gwaine will need Arthur” she paused “I assume from what you said the police will tell Gaius”

“Yes, then send him here in a taxi, not something I could tell him over the phone, he will need someone with him. Hunith was his only child.” Uther swallowed before standing up “Where shall we do this?”

“I think we go up to the boys they are in Arthur’s bedroom and then Gwaine can go to bed if he wants. Come on let’s get it over with. Mordred is asleep I think Morgana might be with the boys”

The two went up the stairs to break the news to the eight year old that both his parents and one of his brothers were dead.


	2. In a plane over India

In a plane over India

Merlin was bored he was fidgeting, he had liked Australia, Hunith and Merlin had been shown all the sites whilst the men talked business and he had got to see Koala bears and Kangaroos. But the plane had been in the air for hours, they had been diverted due to bad weather, and even now the plane was being buffeted. Merlin kept trying to look inside his mother’s locket. He had found out that it had a photo of his mum and dad in and it fascinated him. Hunith took it off and put it around Merlin’s neck in the hope he would settle. Balinor looked on with a fond look on his face “It will be good to get home. I wonder if the others missed us”

Hunith laughed “Gwaine will be too busy playing football with Arthur to care and little Mordred is to young” she looked at her husband “No more traveling for a while please”

“I know love, but it was an important deal and has secured the company for the future. Next time I’ll make Uther go” he smiled at his wife of ten years, he was still as much in love with her as he had been the day they married. He never regretted it for a moment even though many had criticised him for marrying a relatively poor commoner. They had thought she was a gold digger, not realising she hated the trappings that came with his title. She married him in spite of his title and not for it. As he looked at his son he saw Hunith in him, already he was a kind and thoughtful boy. Gwaine their eldest was more like him, a brooder and prone to anger. It would be interesting to see who Mordred followed after, he hoped it would be Hunith. He could already see problems ahead with Gwaine as he got older, they were sure to clash. Pulling himself back to the present he listened to his wife.

“I know you won’t he wouldn’t get the deals you do, he might be a great ideas man but his people skills leave something to be desired, whereas if you want to you cam charm the birds from the trees.” Hunith chuckled Merlin as the small boy dozed off in her arms. Balinor leaned across. 

“It worked with you didn’t it love. Here give him to me” he was a big man and hard man but turned to jelly when it came to his children. Just as Merlin settled in his arms there was an announcement: 

“Please fasten your seat belts we are about to hit some severe turbulence.” One of the air hostesses came to help Balinor settle the now awake Merlin in his seat, he wanted to be on his dads lap, but needed to sit in his own seat for safety. Sitting between his mum and dad they both talked to him to help calm him. The plane dipped and jolted and Balinor didn’t like the feel of it, He had flown a lot over the years and had never experienced turbulence like this. He felt a jolt of fear run through him, not for himself but for his family. If he had been a praying man he would have been down on his knees. The turbulence was indeed severe and then the announcement everyone had been dreading came “Please brace yourselves, the plane is going down”

Screams came from some of the passengers. Hunith looked at her husband then with fear in her eyes she looked at Merlin “My poor baby, I love you both so much, thank god the others aren’t here” She tried to hold it together so not to make her son cry.

Balinor squeezed her hand “Brace yourself love, and remember I love you” Balinor protected himself with one arm, but against all he had been told he held Merlin down with his other arm and tried to cover his sons small body with his, giving the small child as much protection as he could. It wasn’t long before they knew no more. 

The plane broke on impact and debris was spread over a large area, large parts were burning. All that could be heard was the settling of metal and the sound of flames. All the screams had stopped, the plane had hit the side of a mountain, and no one had stood a chance.

Soon after the crash a lone figure came out of the tree line nearby, and walked towards the nearest debris. It was a woman in her middle years. She was looked around her with incredulity at what she was seeing. Deciding to see if there was anyone alive, or anything she could rescue she walked forward muttering to herself. “Oh my, the gods be with us, what a mess, what a mess” 

Her own clothes were worn, she was clearly very poor, and from her singing and muttering it would have been clear to anyone who could see or hear her that she did not have all her faculties. Amita had lost her husband and small son in a tragic accident several months previously, and had been unable to cope with the grief. She had continued to live in their isolated shack alone in her grief. As she wandered round the crash site she picked up scattered things as she went. Then Amita stopped and listened, she could hear a child crying. Putting down the things she had collected she went towards the noise. There among the dead was a small child, it was clear he was hurt and she carefully pulled the child free from under the huge man whose body was covering him. She could now see it was a small boy the same size as her own dead son. She cuddled the child to her chest, and walked away and wrapped him in a traveling rug she found near an open bag.

Her eyes watered as she carefully stroked the child’s face. He was whimpering in pain and shock “There my darling, I knew you weren’t dead, they lied to me Ramesh, you didn’t die, you came back to your mama” the woman moved away from the plane as more explosions occurred. Looking up at the sky she cried “Oh Guanyin, Goddess of Mercy thank you for sending my son back to me.” The made her way back to the things she had already collected. As she moved away there was a huge explosion and the part of the plane she found the child in was engulfed in flames. The woman placed the child down carefully on the ground and made a pack of what she had collected, and placed it on her back, before once more picking up the child, now wrapped in a jacket she had collected, and cuddled him to her before moving away, Singing to the boy in her arms.

The woman made her way back into the trees and back to way she had come. After some considerable time she arrived at her shack and going in Amata carefully put the child on a rickety table and undressed him there was blood on his clothes. He was now limp and unresponsive, she continued to mutter endearments to him she carefully looked him over his left arm that was clearly broken. She went outside and came back with two sticks and straightening the arm she fixed a splint as best she could, then did the same for his left leg. Grabbing a filthy blanket she carefully removed the locket from round his neck and placed it round her own before wrapped him up and laying him with great care on the floor, in a place she clearly slept in. She then cleaned the blood from his face as best she could and let him rest. It was no point taking her son to the healers, she had no money to pay them and it was a long way. Anyway she reasoned the gods wouldn’t have sent her son back to her just to see him die again. 

Waiting for the boy to waken she sorted through her stash and then warmed some of her meagre supply of lentil soup and threw a few vegetables in it. She need to get more food soon that was what she had been doing when she saw the plane go down. Overhead she could hear the sounds of the helicopters making their way to the crash site, but she ignored them. It was several hours later, with her still crooning gently, that the child opened his eyes. “Mummy” he muttered.

The woman moved closer, she guessed what he was saying and soft told him “Your momma is here little one, I won’t let you go again.” She nursed the boy as best she was able, going out into the surrounding countryside to forage for food. Her single goat providing milk that she gave to her beloved Ramesh, as the goddess had given her this second chance she was not going to waste it, she cared for the child and loved him with all her heart from the moment she found him, soon forgetting that her son had ever died. 

It was months before Merlin was able to move much, but his bones had eventually set, his youth and previous good health helping the process. But due to the way he was cared for both limbs were bent and made both walking and using his arm difficult. But eventually he was able to walk with a twisted frame and a bad limp made worse by the fact that his foot no longer touched the ground fully. He now answered to Ramesh and was slowly learning his new language. The trauma of the accident and the head injury he had sustained together with the aftermath had masked his memories and he now only rarely dreamt of a big man with a beard who loved him, the woman who gave him cuddles and the elder brother who played with him. There was never a memory of the new baby brother. With the harshness of his new life even those few memories faded.


	3. Chapter 3

November 2000 England

It was the day of the funeral, the past months had been hard for everyone. Especially when they were told that Balinor and Hunith had to be identified by DNA as they were badly burnt. Merlin’s body was never found, it was assumed that it had been burnt to a crisp or that the authorities wondered if it had been thrown free and predated by a wild beast. That was an idea Uther kept from the others. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that the small boy had perished. Instead it was planned to bury a small empty coffin with Merlin’s teddy inside along with his parent’s coffins. The day was cold and dreary as they listened to the service and followed the coffins to the family graveyard at Balinor’s country estate.

Gwaine had been very difficult at first he had refused to accept what he was told, believing they had all walked away from the crash and would turn up. This went on for a couple of months. Then he had become very angry with everyone and everything just had his ninth birthday but had refused to celebrate it in any way. He had been very badly hit by the tragedy believing he should have been with them and if he had been somehow it wouldn’t have happened. He confessed to Arthur that he had prayed and asked god to take him and let his family come back, even if it was only Merlin. Gwaine hadn’t realised just how much he loved his younger brother until he was no longer there following him around. He missed the cheerful smile and constant ‘why’ questions that children of that age asked. 

Gwaine was still having nightmares and was withdrawing into himself, Uther had arranged a counsellor but Gwaine refused to speak to him. Only Arthur was able to comfort him. Gwaine and Arthur stood by the grave long after everyone else had left. Uther was waiting back slightly to give Gwaine privacy, he hated anyone seeing him crying. 

Ygraine, Morgana and Mordred waited at the car. Morgana had been a real help to her mother after the crash, she might only be six but she had decided that Mordred needed someone special, and as Gwaine was so upset it would be her. Uther and Ygraine had spoken to Gaius and the children and had become the orphan’s legal guardians. They had no intention of adopting them, Balinor and Hunith would always be their parents. Gwaine was now the Earl of Essetir, but Uther would manage the estate for him until he became of age.

After Gwaine and Arthur left the graveside they went back to the house, more a mansion. There the family, friends and business associates gathered for the wake. It was a huge place and had been in the family for over six hundred years. Uther had told Gwaine if he wanted they would move there as a family. Gwaine refused saying he wanted to sell it and never go back, it held so many memories. Uther kept his silence and found a manager for the estate and kept on a small staff to care for the house. He then arranged for the valuables to be put in the bank for safe keeping. Before they left Gwaine walked round his old home and collected a few things to take with him. In his brothers room he found Merlin’s plushy toy dragon and hugged it as tears ran down his face “I will never forget you Merlin”

He hid it in his suitcase and continued to look around. He already had his fathers and mothers wedding rings on a chain round his neck. They had somehow survived. As soon as he was ready he walked out to find the rest and not looking back got into the car. He would not return for ten years.

2002 INDIA  
Amita and Merlin, who now thought of himself only as Ramesh, had left the countryside as soon as Merlin had recovered enough to walk beside his ‘mother’ and made their way to Mumbai catching a train with the money Amata got for her goat. Once there Amita hoped to find her brother who had moved there several years before but failing that she intended to work to keep them both. By now Merlin was speaking in his adopted mother’s language and had settled into his new life. His real family and previous life gone from his memory as the struggle to survive took over. They settled in a small shack in the slums near the rubbish dump at Deonar, where they both picked rubbish to make enough to live. The work was long and hard but at six years old Merlin was not the only child working, in fact there were as many children working the dump then adults. Merlin hated the smell from the dump and missed the woods and open areas, he missed not seeing his beloved mountains. But his mama told him they had no choice so he slowly adapted.

If they were lucky they even found enough food to eat amongst the waste and could save there pitiful wages for clothes and other necessities. Merlin found it hard to make friends, his new mother’s metal state was still fragile and his pale skin and the fact that he clearly wasn’t Indian made it hard for him. He found their remarks hurtful and would run to him mama “Mama, they called me a Gora, why can’t I look like them? Why am I so pale and have blue eyes”

Amata looked at the slender boy and hugged him “Take no notice of them my love, you are a good boy, tell them to come to me” she would reassure him. But he was beginning to feel isolated and out of place, even here in the slums so he asked once more. “Can we go back to the mountains Mama?”

Amata shook her head “I am sorry my son, but there is no work for us there. I know you like the mountains but we have to live” she didn’t add that at the back of her mind was the fear that if they had stayed then one day she would lose her Ramesh just as she had found him.

Merlin did his best for his mama and worked hard, staying at her side as much as he could. He worked hard hoping that if they could earn enough they could go back to his beloved mountains. He tried making friends but after a while gave up and just stayed near his mama. He was safer that way as his leg made it impossible for his to run if the others picked on him. But he slowly found he was doing more than his mother and also having to look after her as her condition worsened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since some of you seem to like a sob story and the last chapter was'n't very long here is a second one just for you. Keep making comments and I will write quicker. The whole story is sitting in my head  
> .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................

2004  
Merlin was eight when his new mother died after becoming ill once more, probably from the conditions they worked in and the lack of food. Like the rest of the dump workers they both became ill every few months from the toxic fumes or the food they ate. As she died she handed him the locket she had worn round her neck since she had found him, saying as she did “Take this my child, never part with it, one day it might be your ticket away from his life, it came to me from the skies when the gods gave you back to me. You have been a blessing to me I love you my son.”

“I love you mama” the small boy said to his only friend. “What do you mean Mama?” Merlin asked her but it was too late she was gone. Even at his young age he knew death when he saw it, it was a common site in the slums with over a third of the babies born dying before their second birthday and most adults dying by fifty. 

He sat with Amata until the next morning when a neighbour came in and found the boy with his dead mama. She turned to the boy “You must leave, this shack can go to a family, I will see her body cared for but say goodbye and go, you will have to live on the streets now, we cannot afford to take you in.” she gave Merlin a few minutes to say goodbye and chased him off. Life was cheap and hard in the slums and no one could afford another mouth to feed, even if Merlin worked, he was a cripple and would be more trouble than he was worth. The woman felt a twinge of regret as she knew the boy would have a hard life, but her family all worked at the dump or collecting rubbish from the better part of town. They had little for themselves so she hardened her heart as she watched him leave. 

So Merlin left his home for the final time and carried with him his few clothes and the locket, as he left he grabbed the small amount of food from the corner and walked away. When he got to the streets where he knew the street children lived, he tried to find somewhere to stay but was chased of as each group defended their patch. In the end he found a small area and sat down and cried. As he cried he knew he now had to look after himself. So he sorted through his things and put on as many of the clothes as he could, knowing if he left them anywhere they would be gone. He tied the string holding the locket round his waist so it was hidden by this trousers and walked to the dump, eating his meagre amount of food as he went. 

He worked alone all day and took his day’s work to the man who had always paid his mother. “Where is your mama boy” he was asked gruffly.

“She is dead” came the sad retort 

“I will pay you, but not as much as I paid your mama” with that he handed over a few rupees. “No arguing or you get nothing”

Merlin took it and left and went to a nearby market to buy some food. As he sat eating it a group of street children came and snatched it off of him and ran of shouting “Gora, you are on your own now”

Merlin realised then just how much protection his mama had been, she had truly loved him. The thought back to when they had first arrived in Mumbai, when he had tried begging. But in a country where some parents maimed their children deliberately his deformities weren’t enough to attract money. So he had worked the dumps with his mama, she had always been there for him, but now he was alone, and he had no choice but to sleep on the pavements where at least he had the company of other boys in the same predicament, he just needed to find a group that would allow then to join them. He vowed to work hard and save of he could so he could return to the mountains.

Over the next few years his life remained one of hard work and semi starvation. He was so dirty that hardly anyone noticed his pale skin anymore, even though he was out in the sun all day he hardly tanned. But to everyone he was just another street kid. No matter how hungry he got, he never parted with the locket, Amata had kept it and so would he it was all he had to call his own. Merlin hid the locket well frightened it would be stolen, he wrapped it in rag so no one would notice it shine if his clothes moved. He tried to save, but soon found if he kept money someone would steal it from him, so like the others he spent his money as soon as he got it. Mostly on food and sometimes he crept into see a film. He was still alone most of the time, the others tolerating him, but not allowing him to be part of their groups so he lived on the fringe of the groups so he got some protection. Like the others Merlin would wash in the drains near the dump with the other kids occasionally he would go to the river. He did his best to keep clean. 

By ten Merlin kept an eye out for some of the younger children as they first arrived, trying to help them if he could. They formed a small group who lived on the same patch of the street, and did their best to look out for each other, although it wasn’t always possible. Many moved into the larger groups when they found one to take them. Merlin eventually found a friend, another boy just a bit older than him, but after a year the other boy died as rubbish at the dump collapsed on top of him burying him alive, Merlin and the others tried to find him, but in the end they had to leave his body. Others in the small group died from the bugs they picked up, others got run over by the trucks on site. Still more drifted into prostitution or working for the gangs. But if one of them was not able to work through illness the others would help get them food. The winters were the hardest, they wore all the clothes they could find and brought cardboard back from the dump the lie on and cover themselves with. They did their best to find places to hide their blankets when they worked or they would be stolen, or removed by the police as they tried to clear the street kids away from an area.   
2004 ENGLAND

Gwaine was now twelve years old and Mordred was four. Gwaine tried to care for his brother and he did love him, but it was almost as if he was afraid to become too close to him in case he to left him. But Mordred was far happier with the ten year old Morgana the two had remained very close. Mordred had Merlin’s colouring and in some ways that had made Gwaine’s grief for Merlin worse. He would see his dead brother in the youngster every day. He would often get out the dragon and hug it, he thought no one else knew about it but of course Ygraine and Uther knew. Gwaine was a bright boy but his anger at the world meant he was constantly getting into fights and caused clashes with Uther, who tried his best to help the lad. He could see Balinor in the child and knew that he had it in him to change. They encouraged Arthur to try to keep his foster brother out of trouble and were please to notice that Arthur was becoming quite the diplomat.

Mordred of course remembered nothing of his other brother and parents, although Ygraine was careful to tell him about them and he had photos in his room. He was a happy boy and had many of Merlin’s ways in that he was always smiling, but he also had his father’s stubbornness a trait he shared with Gwaine. He also held grudges, something Merlin had never done even at four years old he was quick to forget any disagreements. 

On the fourth anniversary of his families death Gwaine had taken a bottle of whiskey from Uther’s study, and hid himself away and started to drink. He had always refused to visit the grave with Uther saying he didn’t need to go to see a piece of ground to remember them. Arthur found Gwaine when he had drunk half the bottle and was almost unconscious. Ygraine had called an ambulance and got him to hospital. When Uther got back from Essetir it was to find Gwaine in ITU. It seemed Gwaine had been drinking regularly and the anniversary had triggered the major binge. As soon as the teenager was awake Uther and Ygraine insisted he see a counsellor for help. They all knew Gwaine had many issues to overcome before he would be well. But hoped that they could help the teenager cope better. He had become skilful at hiding his emotions under a cloak of devil may care, but he was a badly damaged young man who was shouting out for help, but at the same time refusing all attempts to help him. The counselling sessions helped but nothing could fill the gap in Gwaine’s heart.


	5. Chapter 5

2007  
Merlin was eleven when a charity came to the area and started to work with the street children, trying to help them. In the winter they set up temporary shelters and offered some hot food. They were trying to get the children to attend school as well. It was during one of those winters when Merlin met a charity worker that would later be instrumental in bringing about change to the orphan boy. Merlin was sitting eating when he was approached by one of the organisers who worked for Children International. “Hello young man my name is Iseldir may I sit with you?” 

Merlin nodded, it didn’t matter to him what the man did as long as he could sleep in the dry tonight. He carried on eating, not wanting to stop in case his food was about to be taken away. Iseldir smiled he had seen similar reactions many times in the three years he had been with the project first in New Delhi and now Mumbai. Sitting down on the floor he looked at Merlin with interest, he didn’t look native, his features were more European and it mad the man curious. “Have you been living on the streets long”?

Merlin looked up, he was suspicious of questions. Like most of the street boys he hadn’t had much kindness in his life. He wondered if the man was trying to trick him into becoming a prostitute or pick pocket so he ignored him. Iseldir tried again “I mean you no harm, I work with the charity we are trying to help, make sure you are fed and if possible go to school so you can get off the streets. I just wondered what had led to you living this life”

Merlin shrugged and then decided to answer after all, what did he have to lose? “Mama died, I wasn’t allowed to stay in the shack” he said honestly.

“When was that?”

“This is my third winter alone, but I worked with mama on the dumps since I was small, before we lived in the mountains” his voice showed the fondness he felt for his previous home.

Iseldir had heard so many sad stories since working with the street children, but each had a story to tell. “Is that where you hurt your arm and leg?”

One of the first things Iseldir had noticed about Merlin was he walked with a strange gait and his arm clearly bothered him.

“I can’t remember, it was when I was tiny” 

“Is your father alive?” Iseldir persisted

“Mama said he was dead, that’s why we had to move here” Merlin said bluntly. “So we could eat”

“So young man will you tell me your name?” Iseldir smiled “It would make it easier to talk to you”

Merlin looked at the friendly looking man and decide to trust him, after all he could always leave “Ramesh”

“Well Ramesh, was your father Indian? Only you don’t look very Indian”

He had made just the wrong comment, he realised that as soon as he said it. Merlin got up and moved away “I am not a Gora!”

Iseldir watched the boy move into a sleeping place in the corner and settled down. He hadn’t meant to upset the boy, he hoped Ramesh would continue to return. There was something about him that made him want to help him, even amongst so many that needed help. He asked around to see what he could find out. All he could establish was that it appeared the boy had been telling him the truth. But the charity worker was convinced there was more to the boy’s story.

Merlin did return and in the end spent the winter months sleeping there, but still working the tips during the day, he refused to attend school not wanting to lose his place at the dump. Slowly Iseldir managed to establish a tentative relationship with Merlin, who like all street children were not trusting by nature. As the weather got warmer the boys moved back out to the streets. The Charity workers stayed in the area and managed to get a good number of the younger ones into school, the older ones chose to stay working. It was a way of life to them and they had been independent for too long and had become too suspicious of adults. But Merlin did convince some of the younger ones to go to school and let the charity look after them. 

During the summer months Iseldir often made his way to the spot where Merlin slept at night, on more than one occasion he dragged the boy to the clinic when he was sick. It was during one such trip when Iseldir spotted the locket for the first time. He said nothing at the time, respecting Merlin’s privacy in front of others. But on the way back to Merlin’s patch he asked “Ramesh can I ask you about the locket you have, and why you hide it?”

Merlin looked at Iseldir sharply pulling the locket out and covering it up once more with the rag. “I hide it so it doesn’t get stolen, it was my mama’s, and it is none of your business”

Iseldir gave a small smile. “It looks gold, but you have never sold it?”

“Like I said it was my mama’s she gave it to me as she died.” He paused considering whether to say more “she told me it came from the heavens and that one day it might give me a better life and to never sell it” he admitted.

Iseldir was surprised, but he knew how superstitious some of the poor where. “Can I see it Ramesh?”

“Maybe one day” was all that Merlin would say. But he never offered more information and Iseldir kept his silence not wanting to jeopardise his bidding relationship with the boy. But Iseldir continued to speak to Merlin whenever he saw him and tried to help if he could, it was clear that Merlin was shunned by many of the street boys, even though he continued to help the small ones whenever he could. The boy clearly had a good heart and was self-sacrificing seeming to care little for himself. Going hungry if it meant someone else had food for the night. The other thing the charity worker noticed was that Merlin would always say he was ’fine’ even when he clearly was not. 

2007 England

Gwaine and Arthur were fifteen and were home for the long summer holiday. Gwaine was still affected by the loss of his family, the cause of plane crash had eventually been found it had been a tragic accident caused by the bad weather. But he had never accepted it. The boys had been playing football with their friends Lance and Leon, Mordred had been cheering his brother on, and they had slowly become closer over the years. Whether that was because at seven Mordred had developed enough of his own personality for it to be clear he was not a young version of Merlin or because Gwaine was beginning to move on it was hard to say. But as they saw less of each other now Gwaine was at boarding school the two made the point of spending time with each other.

Morgana was also there cheering on Arthur, or that’s what she said. Arthur believed she had a crush on Leon but she strongly refuted the accusation. Morgana even at thirteen was becoming quite a looker. Arthur had also learnt to his cost not to push his sister as she had a vicious streak if crossed. He was only pleased she was going to Cheltenham Ladies College and was well away from Eton.

After the football match they went to the local café to get a drink and something to eat. Then Mordred talks his brother into going to the shops to buy him the latest Harry Potter book ‘Harry Potter and the Deadly Hollows’.  
“You always have your nose in a book, you should play sports instead” Gwaine moaned.

“Oh so you won’t want to read it later then?” Mordred injected sarcastically “Even if it is in your own room so no one knows”

Gwaine punched his shoulder and laughed “Just don’t expect me to take you to the film when it’s out”

“That’s alright Arthur will won’t you?” large eyes looked pleadingly at the blond, knowing that Arthur loved the films and so did Morgana.

“Yeh I will. Don’t be back home late Dad wants to have a word with us tonight” Arthur reminded Gwaine. They knew Uther wanted to talk to them about school and their futures. They had both been going to Eton as boards for the last four years and they were expected to work hard. Lance was there on a scholarship and Leon also went to Eton.

That evening as expected Uther sat with the two boys and discussed the reports he held in his hands. Arthur was a steady worker and was keeping to his expected grades so Uther praised him and told him to keep up the good work. Gwaine however had continued to have problems, being an Earl had helped in Uther’s fight to keep the boy at Eton. The College was well aware of this background and tried to make allowances. After Arthur had left them Uther turned to Gwaine. “Look boy this has to stop, you have a fine head on your shoulders and you need to apply yourself. The drinking won’t help. I know you miss your family but they wouldn’t want you to be like this”

Uther found it hard to talk about his friend’s death and understood more than Gwaine realised. Balinor had been as close as a brother to him. Gwaine glowered “Then they shouldn’t have left me!” then Gwaine realised what he had said and looked down. “There isn’t a day I don’t miss them even now”

In a rare show of emotion Uther put his hand on Gwaine’s shoulder, he usually left that sort of thing to Ygraine. “I know son, but you also need to think about the future you will be of age in a few years and have your estate to look after. One thing I do know is your father wouldn’t want you to lose it. He loved the place and I know deep down so do you. Also you need to think of Mordred he is now a very impressionable age and he looks up to you. Just promise me you will try that’s all I ask”

Gwaine looked at the man who had always been like a second father to him and saw the sincerity in the older mans face. “I’ll try” he muttered

“Good, you have a good brain under all that bravo use it. I was hoping you will take your place on the board of directors once you are old enough, the firm is after all half yours and your brothers.” Uther had never changed the name from Emrys and Pendragon even though there had been no Emrys at the company since Balinor’s death. He could easily have bought out the brothers and they wouldn’t have objected but that wasn’t what he wanted. 

Gwaine looked surprised “You mean that!”

“Of course, I’m not in the habit of saying things I don’t mean” he paused “I would like it if you all come and work there one day, but that will be up to you of course. Why what did you think of doing?”

Gwaine smiled “I suppose I thought I would look after the estate, not that I know anything about it. It seems so long away”

“The time will soon come. You are young but time flies past. Three more years at Eton then University. It won’t be that long, so do yourself a service and try to apply yourself to your studies and leave the bottle alone. You can’t drink away memories”


	6. Chapter 6

Late 2010 in India   
Time had passed and Iseldir was still working with the street children of Mumbai. Over the time he had been there he had maintained a growing relationship with the boy he knew as Ramesh, against all his principles he had found himself becoming very fond of the boy. Merlin had continued to work the dump and help the new arrivals to the streets, although admitted to Iseldir he never felt like he belonged. “Silly really, no one belongs here, we are the unwanted we belong nowhere, we are nothing”

Merlin still had problems being accepted, despite the years he had been on the streets. Mostly he still slept away from the rest, close enough but never part of the comradeship that the others seemed to share. The only time that changed was when new boys arrived, then he would have company until they got accepted by the larger groups then they would leave, leaving Merlin alone once more. There were hardly any girls on the streets, most of them worked in the service industries or if they were unlucky in prostitution.

Merlin had gradually been getting more problems with his health. His gait was badly affecting his back and recently he had started to drink to try to dull the pain. Iseldir was trying hard to get the boy to come to help at the clinic doing small jobs. But Merlin was proud and felt he was being offered charity. It was clear to Iseldir that at fourteen Merlin would be lucky to see another wet session through, unless he could be persuaded to accept help. He hoped against all hope that Ramesh would not start using drugs. 

2010 In England   
Both Arthur and Gwaine were enjoying a Sunny day in the sunshine playing football with their mates yet again. They had grown into fine lads and were getting near the end of the college time and were all going to have a gap year before going on the university. As young men they were still as close as brothers, but at the same time as different as they could be. Arthur was a fairly reserved young man who worked hard and was fairly shy, not that he gave that appearance. Gwaine was extroverted and every sociable and dragged Arthur out with him. Although Arthur tended to be the driver on such outings. In the last couple of years Gwaine had become fiercely protective of Mordred, who at eleven was a very studious and quiet boy. Uther continued to worry about Gwaine, although he was now a hard worker, he had continued to drink and often to excess. Ygraine and Uther had both tried to talk to him but it made no difference, under his seemingly happy persona was a sad and angry young man, who had never got over his loss and probably never would. 

Gwaine and Mordred’s grandfather Gaius lived near Eton, and acted as a support to the two boys and was the only one that Gwaine ever opened up to other than Arthur. Leon and Lance was still friends with the pair and they had been joined by Elyan a couple of years ago. Morgana was best friends with Elyan’s sister Gwen and they often went out as a group in the holidays. Leon often kept the others in line being the most mature of the group. Gwaine was trying to talk Uther into letting him take Mordred with him for the holidays as he went to visit the estate to see what he wanted to do about it. But not surprisingly Uther was reluctant to allow an eleven year old to traipse round with his brother. The house had remained mothballed since their parent’s death leaving a small staff there keeping the place up together. Uther had suggested he not sell it at the time, as it had been in the family for over six hundred years. As the present Earl he thought it was his duty to look around the place. “Arthur give up your idea and come with me, then maybe Uncle Uther will let me take Mordred”

 

Arthur was thinking of doing some volunteer work, his friend Lance was going abroad to work with the Voluntary Services Overseas and had got Arthur interested. He knew he lived a privileged lifestyle and wanted to see how the poor coped. “I’ll talk to Dad tonight, but I really want to go, sorry”

So that evening Arthur made his way to his father’s study after they had eaten. He knocked on the door and his father told him to come in. Looking at his clearly nervous son he asked “What can I do for you Arthur?”

Arthur sat down and looked at his dad “I was thinking of using my gap year to volunteer to help those less fortunate” he said “Lance is going abroad and I wondered how you felt if I wanted to go with him”

Uther leaned back in this chair and gave his son a thoughtful look “I think volunteer work is a good idea, it will help you to understand that there is another side to life, but why overseas?”

“Well Lance has been showing me the stuff he has, the poverty is horrendous, I never really gave it a thought. He will work with kids that live in the streets, with no one to help them, some of them are as young as six! The charity tries to get the kids to go to school and also seek medical help if they need it. It’s not just a case of chucking money at the problem it’s about changing things for the better” Arthur was clearly getting quite passionate.

“Where is he going?” Uther asked “I think it is a good idea and going with someone else would make me feel better about it”

“He’s going to Mumbai in India, Leon is thinking of going as well.” Arthur added, knowing his parents thought a lot of Leon, he had always been a steadying influence on both Arthur and Gwaine.

Uther nodded “It won’t be a picnic son, I’ve seen some of what you are talking about on the television. Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

“I am, look dad will you talk to Mum. I know she won’t be happy” Arthur pleaded.

“You certainly know how to understate things, she will be worried sick, but she will also be proud of you. Now why India of all places?”

Arthur looked thoughtful “That’s what Gwaine asked, he hates India. But Lance’s Uncle Iseldir works there, for a charity and has for years, we thought it would be better to go to someone who we know about.”

“That makes sense. But with Gwaine he doesn’t hate India, he just hates the fact that he lost so much there and you can’t blame him for that. How will he cope when all three of you are gone?”

“He wants me to go with him, so he can take Mordred but I certainly don’t want to travel around with him meeting all the managers and accountants or babysitting Mordred” Arthur said “I love Mordred but that’s not what I want to do. Anyway it’s not forever, and we can skype him. I do feel guilty not supporting Gwaine but I really want to do this.”

“You have obviously given this a lot of thought, I’ll talk to your mother, have you got all details?”

“I have” Arthur handed his father a folder “There’s even a DVD and remember we will be under supervision”

Later that night Uther turned to his wife “Arthur came to speak to me today about his gap year”

“What does he want to do that needs you to persuade me?” Ygraine asked “And don’t look like that, do you think I don’t know my own children. I suppose he wants to go back packing to some remote and dangerous place and you agreed to talk me round”

“Far from it, he wants to volunteer for the VSO in India, evidently Lance and Leon plan to go as well. He wants to work with the street children, do you remember that programme we watched?” Uther asked “It won’t be easy but he has thought it through”

“Well they certainly need help. What will he do?” Ygraine knew if her son was determined she would have trouble stopping him, he was too much like his father.

“There is a group set up they talk to the kids and try to get them to go to school and also get them to get proper medical attention, they also run a shelter in the monsoon season. You know most of them don’t live to their teens. Lance’s uncle works out there so they would have someone they know there.” Uther hesitated before continuing “From what I gather Gwaine isn’t happy”

“He can’t blame a whole country for what happened to his family. Gwaine will be busy anyway, he was talking to me earlier” Ygraine sighed “I suppose I should be proud Arthur wants to help and do something useful”

“We can’t stop him love, but he does want our blessing, at least the VSO is a good setup.” Uther said “It will open his eyes up, that’s for sure”

“He has a kind heart Uther, I know he can be a bit ….arrogant at times and his stubbornness, well he comes by that honestly” she smirked at her husband “but I’m sure it will do him good”

Uther hugged her “Thanks darling, it will mean the world to him that you approve. He does have a kind heart he gets that from you” 

Some months later in India  
As the monsoons stopped the next group of VSO volunteers arrived. Iseldir knew he was to be allocated three instead of the normal two to his team, but as one was his nephew he could hardly complain, it seemed they were all friends and wanted to be together, and he was looking forward to it. Iseldir had returned to England of a few months every three years and had tried to keep in contact with his brother’s family. He hoped that the lads wouldn’t be awkward as he intended to split them up. One to work directly with him, one in the school and one on the clinic. He read through their folders and made his preliminary decision. His nephew Lance would help at the clinic as he wanted to be a doctor, Leon would work at the school, he seemed to be the steadiest of the three and Arthur would work directly with him, he could always swop them round once he got to know them. He knew they were in for a shock as they all seemed to be from fairly affluent backgrounds. It was hard to adapt to the things they would see.

The three young men walked into his office Iseldir smiled at his nephew and gave him a hug then introduced himself to the others “Hello my name is Iseldir, we keep it informal around here sorry I didn’t meet you at the airport but we have been very busy as you can imagine.” He shook the two boy’s hands. “You all get a couple of days to settle down then we get you working. Two things I need to make sure you understand the number one rule is don’t try to help everyone and don’t give out money to anyone, we give food and medical help but not money. It sounds hard but you would be overrun if you did and not all those we help would use it for food, some use drugs or alcohol to escape their situation. Second thing is not to wander off on your own and eat here nowhere else. Now ask questions as we go and thank you for coming”

Arthur smiled at the charity worker he already liked his no nonsense approach “I think I need to get used to the heat and the smells first”

“You will, we don’t go out midday, the people we help wouldn’t be about, they will be at work. But we do go out early mornings and evenings” Iseldir informed them.

Later that day Iseldir took Arthur, Leon and Lance to the dump. He wanted them to see for themselves what most of the street children did and why so many turned to prostitution or crime. The smell was horrendous and so were the flies. As they watched they saw the mountains of rubbish covered with children and adults all picking through the rubbish. As huge machines worked close by taking no notice of them. The watched a small child only barely managed to get out of the way in time as one of the machines went past.

“They do get killed, or worse still buried under the rubbish and die that way. You have to understand the pickers are the lowest of the low and no one cares what happens to them” Iseldir hesitated before continuing “They shift through toxic waste, faeces and all manner of things, even the youngest don’t bat an eyelid if they find corpses. Life is cheap and death a release.” He turned away and the three young men followed him. Their stomachs heaving at the smell and not understanding how anyone, let alone children could work in such a place. 

Over the following months the three young men did soon get used to the smell, as long as they didn’t go to near the dump. They each settled into their roles and found the work challenging and at times heart breaking. Lance couldn’t believe the lack of health care the children received. He soon learnt that the children for the most part mistrusted adults and would rather suffer than seek help. He was also saddened when he found they were frequently beaten by the police as well as the general public, that in fact they had no rights what so ever. The instances of HIV in the children was also high. He vowed to come back once he was trained.

In the school Leon saw a slightly different story. The children who attended were also given food and a there was an old building they slept in, although many still slept on the streets. The levels of illiteracy were high but he enjoyed trying to help and found the work satisfying although he protested to Arthur and Lance “I can’t understand why some of them don’t stick at it.”

“Some of them just don’t trust us Leon” Arthur told him “It’s brutal out there but they stick together and have their own sense of community.”

Lance added “They just don’t trust adults, any of them were abused by their own parents that’s why they are on the streets in the first place” 

Out on the streets the first time Arthur met Merlin he looked at the boy and thought he looked to be in his early teens, but it was difficult to tell, he was thin to the point of being skeletal, it was clear immediately that the boy had a malformed leg and arm but what struck Arthur the most was his blue eyes and pale shin. Most unusual in an Indian. Arthur noticed that the boy looked at him with the same mistrust that many seemed to and wondered what this boy’s story was. 

Later back at the clinic he asked Iseldir “That boy we saw earlier the pale one, what’s his story? He doesn’t look Indian.”

Iseldir looked at Arthur “Never let him hear you say that. He hates it, Ramesh has suffered more than most on the streets. He is ostracised by many of the other boys who call him Gara, that’s a derogatory word for a white, his story is like many of them. The came to Mumbai with his mother about seven or eight years ago, to find work, they worked on the dumps together he must have been about six. The a couple of years later his mother died, a child like that couldn’t keep their shack in the slums so he was on the streets. Since then he has worked on the dump and streets to feed and clothe himself. He is a good lad, never steals or prostitutes himself but it’s a hard world, he has been on the dumps for eight years and an orphan for about six from what I can work out.”

Arthur was surprised “How old is he?”

“I would think from what I have been able to find out he is fourteen, the boys out here don’t keep track and it’s hard to tell they are always small for their age, starvation does that. He has done well considering. They get paid very little and have no access to health care, a lot of them eat what they find on the dumps or the bins outside the restaurants, to supplement their wage, they only earn about a few rupees for ten hours work a day. They fall sick at least once a month.” Iseldir said matter of factly. He didn’t like it but that was India. “Ramesh like a lot of the boys also collects rubbish from the streets when the dump closes, without them India would be a mess”

Arthur was horror-struck “He has been alone since he was eight?”

“Yes and working since six, long hours as well.”

“it’s funny before I came I read it all but actually seeing it, it doesn’t really sink in!” Arthur paused “It’s truly awful. I notice many of the boys speak some English”

“They do, although at times it is hard to understand them, I speak some Indian and we get by, the trouble is there is so many languages in this country. As to it being awful it is, and they do it every day until they die, that’s why some of them turn to pick pocketing or prostitution, don’t judge them. A lot of the street kids work in the service industries and many have several jobs working ten or twelve hour days. If we can get them out and to our schools they at least have a chance.” 

Arthur looked at his supervisor “Why hasn’t Ramesh gone to school?”

“He didn’t want to, he did try, but by the time we got here it was his life, he finds it hard to trust people, like I said he is even a bit of an outcast among the Street boys because of his blue eyes and pale skin.  
“I noticed that, is he Indian?” Arthur asked curious

“I wondered that myself, I asked around his mother was Indian who knows who his father was. He wouldn’t be the first half cast to end up here. Some of the domestic staff get abused by the men of the house and turned out if they get pregnant. But what I do know is unless that boy accepts help he won’t see the next wet season through. He started drinking recently, to help with his back pain, we do give him some painkillers but we are always short of supplies, and with him his pain will only get worse. Will at the clinic has looked at him but says it is due to his gait, it’s been twisting his spine and over the years has got worse. I dare say sleeping in the pavement and bending down all day hasn’t helped”

After that Arthur found himself looking out for the boy called Ramesh, he didn’t know why out of all of them he played on his mind. But he did, there was just something about him, something that brought out Arthur protective instinct. He always made sure he had something to eat in his pocket to give Ramesh if he saw him. 

The weather was getting hotter as time progressed and the men found it hard to cope with it. They all wondered how the children managed working on the dump but they did. Christmas Day they had their own quiet celebrations and opened the presents their families had sent them. They had been in India for three months.


	7. Chapter 7

In England  
Gwaine had been cross at first when his friends set of to India for their gap year. But he soon settled into getting done what he needed to. First he set off to the family’s estate in Essetir. He had refused to return since the funeral but realised he need to face it. He was after all an Earl and owned the estate. He owed his parents that much. After a long conversation with Uther and Ygraine he had dropped his plans to take Mordred with him. It was Ygraine who had finally convinced him when she said “Gwaine it will be hard enough, is it fair to involve Mordred on your first visit back? How will he cope if you break down?”

Gwaine saw the sense of what Ygraine had said so he went to see his brother “Mordy I will be back in a month and then we will go on holiday together somewhere. You decide”

Mordred had huffed “I knew you wouldn’t take me! I don’t care anyway Morgana wants me even if you don’t, all you ever think about is them. You’ve never cared about me have you? Well go and see your ghosts” with that he stormed off.

The accusation took Gwaine’s breath away, he hadn’t realised Mordred felt that way. He loved his youngest brother and he had tried to hide his grief from him but clearly he hadn’t done a good enough job. 

Ygraine had overheard the outburst and walked up to Gwaine “He doesn’t mean it Gwaine, he was disappointed that’s all.”

“He must have thought it to say it, have I shut him out?” Gwaine was clearly upset.

“Mordred has always had a bit of a spiteful nature Gwaine, he knows how to hurt people. He knows how your family’s death has upset you, but he also knows you love him. He will come round.” She hugged the young man she thought of as a son “But he is right in one thing you do need to try and lay them to rest. None of them would want you to grieve forever. We all miss them but you need to let go, not forget them but make a life for yourself.”

Gwaine nodded “I’ll try” he said “But…”

“No buts, now go careful on that bike of yours”

Gwaine had recently bought himself a motorbike and now he wasn’t taking Mordred Ygraine knew he would use it to travel. “I will Aunty, I think I will head off, no point in waiting a week. That way I can spend some time looking around before the meetings with the manager” 

“Fine but go and find your brother first and give him a hug, he will have settled down and regret what he said, he is a bit of a hothead. Something you both inherited from your father, even if by the time you all came along your mum had beaten it out of him.” Ygraine worried about Gwaine and his inability to let go of the past. 

“I never saw him lose his temper” Gwaine said

“Well he did, not often, but when he did it was fireworks, that’s why he never spoke of his father, they had a huge fall out over your mum and he never spoke to him again. I think he regretted it after you all came along but it was too late by then. I suspect your grandfather was the same, after all he missed out on you children. All because he wanted your father to marry someone well connected.” Ygraine looked thoughtful.

Gwaine was surprised it was rare that they spoke of his parents “I never knew that”

“Well son I worry about talking about them, I don’t want you upset.” Ygraine smiled

“When I came back can we talk more, I want to know them” Gwaine forced the tears back

“Of course, you know we have tried before but you would never listen, perhaps you are ready now” Ygraine was surprised at the request many times in the past she had started to talk only for Gwaine to walk away.

Gwaine found his brother and made up, before heading off with just a rucksack on his back. When he arrived at Essetir he went straight up to the graves, the family burial site was in a clearing in a wood and very peaceful. For the first time in ten years Gwaine looked at the grave, now it had a headstone with all three names on. He sank to his knees tears running down his face as he traced their names with his fingers.

“I’m sorry Mum and Dad, I seem to have messed up, I will try and look after Mordred better for you. But I miss you all so much, there isn’t a day I don’t think of you.” He paused and sniffed back the tears and rubbed his hand across his face. “You’ve been gone ten years and I only knew you for eight, well Merl of four. It is so unfair. Why did you have to leave us? I hope you didn’t know…….that the plane was going down, I hope it was quick and that Merlin slept through it.” Gwaine sat down by the grave and sobbed.

It was an hour later before he could stop enough to move, he stood up and then bent down and kissed each of the names on the gravestone. “You know it’s only just hit me you were so young. You seemed older when I was eight.” Hunith was only twenty nine and Balinor ten years older when they died. 

Gwaine spoke once more, not feeling at all silly that he was talking to a slab of marble “I have let my grief stop me knowing you, but I have my memories, I suppose that’s better than Mordred he can’t remember you. I know Aunty Ygraine tells him about you all. But I have never spoken to him about you, I couldn’t but I will try……….After all you live in my heart and always will”

Gwaine walked away promising himself to visit again with some flowers. He drove down to the house, well more of a stately home really. He intended to force himself to go inside and lay some ghosts. 

But as Gwaine reached the steps and went up to the door his mind took him back to when he was a child, coming home from school. He could hear laughs and giggles as if Merlin was running to meet him. He couldn’t remember Merlin being anything else but happy. He was always making everyone else feel good. It was seldom Merlin was upset and if he was it would be because someone else was then his lower lip would protrude and he would pout before making whoever it was laugh, and be happy again. Gwaine froze and found he couldn’t continue through the door. After his emotional time at the grave it was too much, he turned round and walked away. As he went to get back on his bike he was approached by an elderly man “Can I help you Sir?”

Gwaine looked round to see a half familiar face “No thank you, I was going in but I can’t not now”

Recognition appeared on the other man’s face “Mr Gwaine! I’m so sorry my Lord I didn’t recognise you it has been a long time”

It seemed strange to Gwaine to hear himself being called ‘my Lord’ that was his father “Yes it has, I was going in but I have been to the grave, perhaps another day” he looked at the man again. “Geoffrey! I didn’t know you were still here.”

“I’ve retired now Sir but my son George has taken over, Mr Pendragon kindly gave me permission to remain.” The older man smiled “It is good to see you Sir”

“Geoffrey please call me Gwaine, and you are welcome here as long as you want. I’m sorry I can’t come in but ….”

“I understand Gwaine, it was tragic. How is young Master Mordred?”

“Good, I will bring him to see you sometime. Once I can cope without getting cut up. He doesn’t remember anything of course”

“Please Sir, Let us know and we will remove all the dust covers, it would be good to have the place open fully again. We do of course open part of it for the holidays but the families rooms are kept locked.” Geoffrey was clearly overwhelmed at seeing the new Earl.

“I will Geoffrey, but to be honest I don’t know when, and I can’t see myself ever living here.” Gwaine knew it would be a long time, if ever.

Geoffrey smiled “That’s what your father said Sir, but in the end the house got to him. Would you like a tea or coffee? I am living in the gate house you are welcome to come there, to be honest you look like you could do with one, if you don’t mind my impertinence.”

Gwaine found himself relaxing so agreed, Geoffrey was right he could do with a drink, and has he had his bike a whiskey or brandy was out of the question. He might be careless and thoughtless sometimes but he wouldn’t risk leaving Mordred with no family at all. After a chat with the former butler Gwaine set off to his meeting with the estate manager in a better frame of mind.

Although Gwaine stayed in the area for two weeks and visited the grave several times he couldn’t bring himself to go back to the house. But he headed back home in a better frame of mind. He had decided that the estate must stay in the family’s hands, but that the estate manager was going to continue. Gwaine would go to Oxford with Arthur then work for the company. His idea to drive off into the sunset and go to America was put into the back of his mind, he couldn’t do that to Mordred.

When Gwaine got back to the Pendragon’s at ten am the house was empty except for his foster mother. He walked into the kitchen and gave his aunty a hug “Hi I’m back”

She was pleased to see him and knowing the young man well grinned. “And I suppose you want a fry up, I bet you didn’t eat before you left. Let me look at you” Ygraine held Gwaine at arm’s length “How was it, you look like you’ve lost weight”

“Then I do need the fry up!” Gwaine grinned before getting serious. “It was hard” he admitted “I cried at the grave, it was very emotional, I couldn’t go in the house”

Ygraine hugged Gwaine once more, she always knew the tough exterior Gwaine showed to the world was a front. “At least you went to the grave, did you at least go to the house?”

“I got as far as the door, then I could hear Merlin laughing and giggling like he used to when I got home from school and I just couldn’t go inside. I met Geoffrey though, and he took me to the gatehouse for a cup of tea. I’m glad I went.” 

“I am proud of you Gwaine, it was a huge step for you, I’m sure one day you will go in and face the place.” Ygraine got busy getting Gwaine’s breakfast. 

While she was working Gwaine surprised her “I want to talk about them, it’s silly but until I got to the grave it didn’t sink in just how young mum was, dad as well come to that, and I realised I hardly knew anything about them. Oh I knew what they were like as parents but not them as people.” His whole frame shuddered “But I can’t talk about Merl…….” He took several deep breaths.

Ygraine stopped what she was doing. “Eat this first then we will go and talk about your parents, that’s the first big step. Your brother can wait, you have already taken a huge step love so don’t feel ashamed” 

They sat and Ygraine answered some of Gwaine’s questions about his parents. It was a start at least. Later when Mordred and Morgana arrived back from a friends Gwaine made a point of spending time with his brother and telling him what he had done and arranging some time together.

That night Ygraine told her husband what had happened “I think he is gradually coming to accept things. We talked about Balinor and Hunith, I think he understands a bit more about his family now. He can’t talk about Merlin at all, but that will come.”

Uther hugged his wife “You have done a good job, he needs to move on, Christ we all miss them Balinor was like my brother, but he’s young and his parents wouldn’t have wanted him to grieve forever.”

“It wasn’t me Uther, this came from his visit to the grave. It had to come from him, no one else could have done it for him” Ygraine pointed out

“Maybe, but you helped”


	8. Chapter 8

India 2011.  
It was early one late April morning and Merlin had just woken up and after a struggle to get up off the pavement, his back was getting worse and worse and he felt like an old man. He was getting ready to leave for the dump, the early ones got the best picking spaces. The rainy season would soon be with them and he was on the lookout for a sheet of plastic big enough to use for shelter or if he managed to get in the charities shelter he could make a cape to keep the worse of the weather of as he worked. Merlin called out to the small group of new arrivals as he left “Come on you need to start early”

He had gone a few paces when passing truck left the road and mounted the pavement and ran over where he had been sleeping the night before. Merlin caught a glancing blow and fell but got up and limped back and started to try and help his group, many were dead but one of the small ones was alive but clearly had a broken leg and another was badly injured. “Go to get Iseldir” he shouted to some of the nearby children. He knew that that was their best chance.

Merlin comforted the two survivors while they waited. The lorry driver had got out the truck and was on the phone to try and get someone to come and help him with the lorry, he hardly glanced at the mayhem he had caused. As soon as Iseldir and Arthur arrived the older man arranged for the injured to receive help. As he got the last of the little ones off he turned to Merlin and noticed blood on his trousers. “Come on Ramesh we need to get you looked at as well”

Merlin looked at Iseldir and then at Arthur and in broken English he said “I’m fine, off to work” with that he turned to walk away, Iseldir wasn’t surprised Merlin was always stubborn. 

“Ramesh! You can’t go to the dump with open wounds you will get sick” the charity worker told him.

Merlin ignored Iseldir and started to walk away “Ramesh at least let me look I know you are already in pain …please.”

Merlin shrugged and pulled up this trouser leg, he had a deep long gash running down his calf. Iseldir looked at Arthur “Get a dressing pack and a bandage out of my bag please and a pair of gloves”

The grey haired man soon wiped clean the gash and dresses it “I will come back tonight and check it, try to keep it clean” he told the boy. 

Merlin turned and smiled “That’s going to happen! I work at the dump” with that he was gone.

Iseldir turned to Arthur “Now you see why so many of them die young. Ramesh has to work or he doesn’t eat it’s that simple. 

That evening Iseldir and Arthur went out to check the streets “We will look at Ramesh if he lets us, but he is an independent soul, he might not let us”

Arthur hoped they found him. As they got to the street where Merlin could normally be found Arthur noticed the children lying or sitting on cardboard, as the only thing between them and the hard pavement it was a sight he always found hard to accept. Iseldir and Arthur spoke too as many of them as they could and handed out food to the ones who had been too sick to go to work. They also tried to get some of them to consider school as an option. They eventually found Merlin washing his leg in a drain, as he saw them approach he smiled “Hello Iseldir, Arthur, I am keeping it clean” he told the charity workers, clearly proud with himself

Arthur looked at the drain and shuddered, if this was clean water what did they drink? He was pulled back to the present as Iseldir scolded Merlin “Ramesh let me clean it for you in clean water, you will get sick again”

Arthur got the kit from the bag and put on the gloves and went towards Merlin, who backed away “What are you doing!” he demanded

“I am going to wash your wound and dress it” Arthur told him “Now come here and let me get on with it”

Merlin looked at Arthur and muttered “Prat” Under his breath, a word he had picked up along the way and adopted it for his own use. But he did reluctantly allow Arthur to clean the wound and redress it. As Arthur cleaned the leg he looked at it, it was the deformed one and seemed to have been broken and set wrongly. He said nothing, he knew of the practice of deliberately maiming children for begging and wondered if that was what had happened. Merlin’s legs were so thin Arthur could easily wrap his hand round it. The bones clearly visible. Although Arthur was getting used to the harsh life the children lived he still found it sent shivers running down his spine. After they had left Ramesh to continue on their rounds Arthur couldn’t get the boy out of his mind. He turned once more to Iseldir. “I know we are not supposed to become involved but you must have your favourites”

The older man grinned “Your right it is unrealistic, but you get to really like some of these kids and then you suffer when they die or get in more trouble than they can get out of. I go back to England soon for six months and I wonder if Ramesh will be here when I get back, if he isn’t I will never know if he died or just found another area. These people are soon forgotten.” Iseldir looked sad. “I often wish I could adopt them and take them back but then I realise I can’t offer then what they need. I would never give up this work and when I do I will be too old to take on the problems they would present, and how could you choose out of so many” he sighed “No I do what I can, and don’t think I haven’t noticed you keep as special eye out for Ramesh as well.”

Arthur looked at the man with respect, without answering the accusation he commented. “You do more than most of us ever think of doing, I hear you have been in India for twenty years”

“I have most of it in New Delhi but then they wanted me to come here and set up something for these kids.” He looked at the teenager and smiled “You are doing your bit, not many give up their gap year to do what you and your friends are doing, you could have gone backpacking, also you will remember this and that’s how word gets out, you will tell others of your experiences and eventually we will change this, it will take years but one day…..”

When Arthur got back he talked to his friends, they were all horrified what they had seen earlier in the day. Lance told him that one of the boys from earlier hadn’t made it. Then Arthur went on to tell them about Ramesh’s latest injury then added “I can’t believe the lorry driver didn’t even care that he had hurt those kids, he was more worried about his lorry.” Then he looked out of the window where he could just see the dump in the distance “I can’t begin to think what it must be like to start work there at six, think what we were doing before we left the UK, we haven’t even started work yet.”

Leon looked at his friend “I agree, I hadn’t ever given it much thought, not even when Lance here first said about it, when we left home I never really thought it would be like this”

Lance nodded “Once I’ve trained I think I might come back for a few years and do what I can.” He looked at Arthur concern in his voice as he said “You seem to have taken to this Ramesh”

Arthur looked puzzled “I don’t know why, but he has got under my skin, he’s not the youngest, but he has a certain something about him” the blonde admitted. That night when he contacted his parents Arthur told them what he was experiencing and all about Ramesh “You wouldn’t believe what these kids go through and the boy Ramesh he is deformed from a childhood accident of some sort, and he is shunned even by the other street kids because of something as stupid as a pale skin and blue eyes. It makes my heart bleed for him. Yet he has such a huge smile”  
“Watch it son or you will be wanting to bring him home” Uther said “You need to try to remain detached if you can and just concentrate on doing what you can. Remember what the literature said” 

“I know dad, but I might see about setting up some sort of scheme when I get back where I can send him enough money each month to help get him out of the dump” That had been something he had been thinking about for the past few months.

“That’s kind but let’s talk it over when you get back, we could ask the authorities and see if we could help with the charity to help more than just one child. I don’t suppose it would take much money. You said Lance’s uncle comes back soon for a visit we could ask him he is more of an expert” Ygraine said, proud that her son wanted to help, but worried that he was becoming to involved.


	9. Chapter 9

Arthur decided to do as his mother had suggested and wait, after all if he could get his father behind this the company could help and have a sustainable project. By the end of the week as they were doing their morning rounds they found Merlin and checked his wound, the young man did not look at all well. The wound was weeping puss and was red and angry and was clearly infected. Merlin also had a temperature, between them Iseldir and Arthur talked the youngster into going to the clinic to get it treated. Arthur took him back in the car while the older man continued his rounds. As Arthur and Merlin walked into the clinic Merlin’s normal poor gait was far worse and he was leaning against Arthur. With his leg wound and back it was all he could do to walk. He was taken though to see the doctor, Will Dempsey had come to India once he had gained experience after qualifying. He was a somewhat lacking in his bedside manner but a good doctor. Will had met Merlin on several occasions before.

“Ah Ramesh, what have you done this time, eating rotten food again?” Will demanded.

Merlin looked at him but said nothing as Arthur got him onto the examination couch explaining the situation. Lance stepped forward to help, interested to see this boy who had effected Arthur so much. “Here let me help you” Lance went to take off the boys trousers “We need these off so we can have a proper look”

Lance’s friendly smile and no nonsense approach seemed to do the trick and the trousers were soon removed. Merlin grabbed the sheet and pulled it over his private parts, he had no undergarments, then he grabbed his trousers and put them under his head, he wasn’t about to lose them. 

Lance took off the dressing and looked at the leg, carefully cleaning it he called to Will to look at it. Will came over and looked at the leg “You need antibiotics Ramesh and you need to either go to hospital stay here. You can’t go back to the streets for a few days.”

Merlin shook his head “No I can’t I have to work”

“Don’t be a damn fool Ramesh you will die, we will feed you” Will glared at Merlin “You will die if you don’t get this treated. We shouldn’t keep you here, but the rains will be here in days so we will if you behave.”

Arthur looked at the boy and knew he couldn’t let him leave “Ramesh please stay, you need help and there is nothing wrong in accepting it”

“I don’t need charity!” Merlin said proudly “I have managed all my life”. 

Iseldir butted in as he came through the door “I thought they’d have trouble with you so I decided to come back, Ramesh this isn’t charity I told you we need help here, we get you better and you can work it off. Just think about it. If after a while you want to go back to the dump so be it”

Will looked at the almost skeletal boy “It’s that or die Ramesh, now are you going to let me treat you or what”

Merlin lay back on the couch and closed his eyes, which was all the encouragement that Will needed, before Merlin had time to change his mind the doctor gave him a sedative and started to work on his leg with Lance helping.

Iseldir went into his office and sat down he looked up at Arthur who followed him in “And you don’t get involved!”

Iseldir looked up at Arthur “We shouldn’t it only makes it harder when they don’t make it. But for years that boy has helped others even though they treat him like dirt. Have you noticed he has started drinking, I suspect to help with the pain from his back. The trouble is that won’t go away not unless he could have extensive surgery on his leg. And that will never happen. The most we can do is try to make his remaining time more comfortable”

Arthur was shocked “How long?”

“I don’t know, if he goes back on the streets then this monsoon will finish him, if he stays here….who knows” Arthur was surprised to see unshed tears in the other man’s eyes. “These kids deserve better, I have been working in India for so long and we haven’t even made a dent. The boys keep the cities running without them we would all be buried under tons of rubbish, yet they live lives of utter misery and starvation.”

“Then why do you keep going?” Arthur knew he couldn’t do what the man in front of him had done.

“Because we help a few and without us it would be worse.” Came the candid answer. “Ramesh is most likely the illegitimate child of a tourist or wealthy westerner, yet he and his mother before him live worse than animals. Yet the Indians themselves nor Western Governments care”

“Could we help him? I’m sure my father would provide the money” Arthur asked

Iseldir shook his head “And the rest of them? That’s what I tried to tell you when you got here, help one and there a thousand’s left. Did you know the latest figures show three quarters of a million street children in India alone. Not to mention the millions worldwide.” He looked at Arthur “No we will care for him and the others the best we can and accept that, to do otherwise is foolish. It’s not a case of healing Ramesh, what would be do then? It would raise false hope” he stood up “Come on Ramesh is being cared for, let’s go and help some others. I want to go to the school and see a couple of little one I took in last week, and you can see Leon at work” 

Iseldir seemed to put his despondency behind him as he spoke to the children at the school, Leon was enjoying the challenge and was sitting with several kids and helping them write on their chalk boards. The children all seemed happy and were making the most of the opportunity they had been given. Although Leon admitted three children had left the night before and went back to the streets. 

The two men continued to do their rounds and gave out food and some clothes before heading back to the clinic. As they walked they went to check on Ramesh and found him asleep. He looked so innocent and carefree as he led there. Will come over “I have got him on antibiotics and some painkillers. That back of his is causing him grief. He could hardly lie down. You know he has been drinking? I suspect it’s the only thing that has let him work. Just as well he hasn’t turned to drugs or we couldn’t have kept him here”

“Do you think he will stay long enough to let his leg heal?” Iseldir asked the doctor.

“It’s more a question of will it? He’s so malnourished I wouldn’t be surprised if in the end he doesn’t have to have it amputated.” Will looked at the sleeping teenager. “And if that happens he’ll die anyway.”

The silence that followed told its own story as each of the men contemplated what the doctor had told them. 

Just as Will finished speaking Lance came forward and handed Iseldir a piece of rag on a string. “I took this of Ramesh when I was cleaning him up. Since he is out of it following the pain killers, and after his treatment, I thought it ought to be put somewhere safe when I saw what it was. It is clearly important to him as he was wearing it tied round his waist and under his clothes.”

Iseldir took the rag “He has had this as long as I have known him, I saw it briefly once. He said his mother had given it to him on her death bed. She told him it had come from the sky and he must never sell it as it would get him out of here” he snorted “I think it’s gold it would have probably done him more good to sell it, a lot of these people are so superstitious, but then it was all he has of his mother.” Pausing he looked at Lance “Thank you I will put it in the safe. When he wakes tell him I have it and will return it to him.


	10. Chapter 10

Will and Lance left to go back to work Iseldir and Arthur sat down to have a drink before going back out on their rounds. Iseldir turned the rag in his hands thoughtfully, then looking at Arthur, as he unwrapped the small package “He would never let me see it, I shouldn’t but it is an itch I can’t scratch.” 

With great care Iseldir opened up the rag and looked at the golden locket, it was clearly an expensive item and not something a poor India woman would normally have. Trying to open it he found it was stuck together with grime. He wiped the edges carefully and then using his fingernail pressed the small hidden button and the locket flew open. Iseldir looks surprised as he looked inside “I wasn’t expecting that” 

He showed Arthur the inside. As Arthur looked at the photos he went as white as a sheet and grabbed the locket from Iseldir. “I know them!” he whispered harshly.

“You do! Are you sure!” the older man demanded “Who are they”

Arthur was totally shocked by what he was seeing “The Earl and Lady Emrys. The Earl, was my father’s business partner and they died along with their four year old son, ten years ago when the plane they were on crashed into the Western Gnats. Their two surviving children live with us. Their photo sits by their eldest son’s bedside.”

Iseldir took the locket from Arthur’s hands and looked at it once more “What were their Christian names?”

“Balinor and Hunith, they were like mine and my sister’s Aunty and Uncle”

Iseldir showed Arthur the outside of the locket, there entwined were the initials H and B. “Well it did come from the sky that part of the story was right. I wonder how it came to be in her possession. I know Ramesh said they lived in the mountains when he was tiny. Perhaps she found it” 

“Their son Gwaine is my age, he will want the locket back, it would mean so much to him” Arthur said thinking of his friend.

“Sorry Arthur but this is Ramesh’s he will never trust us again if he doesn’t have it back. It is all he has after all. I suspect your friend has many things to remind him of his parents.” Iseldir said firmly. “I will talk to him once he is better, but to be honest I think he will be upset that I even looked at it”

“You’re right, but ….”

“Look Arthur I think we both need to think about this, I should never have looked at the locket, I broke the boys trust.” Iseldir wondered what can of worms he had opened in giving in to his impulse.

Arthur left the office and went and stood, looking down at Ramesh as he slept wondering the story behind the locket. It was strange that the locket had turned up after all this time, just as he was here in India. Arthur couldn’t help but think that the boy in the bed was about the same age that Merlin would have been had he lived. What different lives they would have lived, had Merlin survived. One a street child who no one wanted, and the other the beloved son of an English Earl. Arthur noted that Ramesh even had the same colouring and vivid blue eyes……….he even had the same eyes…….

Arthur made a leap of connective thought and swallowed, it couldn’t be. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t hear Iseldir come up behind him “Come on we have to get going we have other boys to look after”

As the charity worker walked away he realised Arthur wasn’t following him so he went back and touched the young man’s shoulder “Arthur come on we have work to do”

Arthur turned and Iseldir saw the look on the blondes face, so guided him back to the office and sat him down “What is the matter? You look white as a sheet”

Arthur looked up and wondered what the older man would think if he told him, but then did he have a choice? He had no idea what to do. “Do you think Ramesh could be Merlin? He’s about the right age and his colouring is right. Is there any chance at all, I mean it fits, the plane crash was in the mountains and that’s where Ramesh used to live.”

The possibility hadn’t even crossed Iseldir’s mind, but as he listened to Arthur he couldn’t help but wonder “Arthur do you know what the odds are on that? The slum in Mumbai has getting on for a million people and there are about forty thousand street children, even if the child survived the crash and then came here…….” He stopped unable to contemplate the odds.

Arthur wasn’t about to let his idea go, it would solve so much for the boy led in the bed. “Uncle Balinor…the man that died.. he used to tell us stories and he always believed in destiny. He said if something was meant to be it would happen. I mean what are the odds on the locket turning up?” Arthur said talking to himself as much as the man in front of him.

“He must have had some Indian in him, destiny, fate they all seem to believe in it” Iseldir paused “So what are you going to do? You have to be careful not to get Ramesh’s hopes up and anyway he clearly loved his mama very much. You have to take care”

“I will talk to dad he might have an idea, can we not tell anyone else for now?” Arthur was even more convinced but he didn’t want too much speculation until he knew for sure.

“I think that is wisest. Ask your father if the child’s body was found and conclusively identified, and also if the child had any marks or scars we could check” Iseldir pulled himself together whist he was determined to make sure Ramesh was protected as best he could he knew there was little they could do now, anyway he needed to think. “But for now we have children depending on us. It is only about two thirty in the afternoon in London, call your father this evening when he gets home”


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur couldn’t wait for the time to go and as soon as he could he found a quiet spot where he wouldn’t be overheard, and rang his father’s mobile. When his phone rang Uther was in his study looking at the mail as he waited for supper. 

“Hello Arthur, is everything alright you usually skype?” Arthur could hear the concern in his father’s voice.

“Yes and no are you alone?” Arthur was nervous what if his father laughed at him, what would he do then?

“I’m in the study. Your mother is in the kitchen, now what is the matter?”

“Dad I want you to ask you something strange can you bear with me and just answer for now?” Arthur asked

“Carry on” Uther was very curious 

“Was Merlin’s body formally identified? I mean without doubt”

Uther eyebrows shot up “Arthur if I answer that you do not ever tell Gwaine what I have to say, I need your promise”

“You have it, Dad this is important” Arthur stressed “I have a very good reason for asking”

Uther decided to trust his son “There was no body, they could never find any conclusive match, the coffin held only Merlin’s teddy” Uther heard a gasp at the other end then his sons shaky voice

“Did Merlin have any marks that could identify him?”

“Look son what is all this about?” Uther demanded “These questions haven’t just crossed your mind”

Arthur took a deep breath “Please listen and don’t think I am going mad……You know the boy I have spoken about…Ramesh… well we had to bring him to the clinic today, when Lance was cleaning him up he found a locket tied round Ramesh’s waist. He was knocked out at the time, as they had had to treat him so Lance gave the locket too Iseldir for safe keeping, anyway to cut a long story short it was Aunty Hunith’s, it had their photos in it and had an H and B on the front.”

Uther gasped in shock “After all this time, but what has that got to do with your questions?” he demanded

Arthur took a deep breath and continued “A long time ago Ramesh told Iseldir that his mum had given the locket to him on her death bed, and here’s the strange bit she told him it had come from the sky and he mustn’t sell it as one day it might help him. Then I was looking at Ramesh and thinking how he was about the same age that Merlin would have been had he lived, then it hit me he had raven hair and blue eyes and he doesn’t look Indian, what if it is Merlin?”

“Son that is a massive leap” Uther paused thinking through what his son had said “So you need to know how to be sure?” 

“I know its a zillion to one shot dad, but can we ignore it?” Arthur asked

“No son, but this is just between us for now, don’t tell your friends or your mother and most defiantly not Gwaine. If it turned out to be a false alarm it would break him. Since you left for India he has made great strides in coming to terms with everything, I won’t see him go backwards” Uther thought for a moment, it was such a long time ago and something he had hidden in the back of his mind. Gwaine hadn’t been the only one with a long term grief. “Merlin had a birthmark on the back on his neck it was vaguely shaped like New Zealand. I only remember because he was conceived in New Zealand on a business trip and your aunt and uncle used to joke how it country had claimed him. If your Ramesh has a birth mark then we will have to take this further, do a DNA test or something.” Uther was thinking on his feet.

“I will try to find out. Dad thanks for not laughing at me” Arthur was relieved that his father seemed to be taking this seriously. “I’ll sent a photo of Ramesh now, I have one on my phone, have a look and see what you think”

Uther looked at his phone the minute the photo had come through and studied the boy stood next to Arthur. He was painfully thin but he could see what Arthur meant “Has he got prominent ears under that hair? Merlin had, his father thought of getting them pinned back but your aunty wouldn’t hear of it.”

“His hair is a bit long dad and as he is thin he is very angular. You know the more I think about it the more I believe it could be him, he has had a broken leg and arm in the past. The doctor here said that was why they are bent, they were never set properly. He could have got them in the plane crash, Ramesh says he was tiny when it happened and can’t remember it.”

“Arthur please don’t get carried away I know you like this boy but I don’t want you to build this into something it isn’t” Uther told Arthur “Promise me you will be objective”

“Sorry Dad, look I must go I will find out and let you know in the morning. I will get a photo of any marks if I can” Arthur switched of his phone and went to speak to Iseldir. The older man promised to get the doctor to check in the morning but say nothing to anyone else. That night Arthur couldn’t sleep, he wanted to go and check on Ramesh but forced himself to stay away. Despite what he had said to his father he knew he was already praying that Merlin was alive, and that they had found him. It would be unbelievable and just what Gwaine needed. And if he was honest he didn’t want to leave Ramesh behind in India when he left.

Merlin slept well after he had been admitted, and had his wound treated. The injury and the problems he had had with his back had exhausted him more than he realised. The sedative he had been given made sure he didn’t wake until the morning. As he opened his eyes he saw Lance looking at him. “Hi Ramesh good to see you awake how do you feel?”

Merlin looked around and then realised where he was, at the same time it dawned on him he was not in his own clothes, his hand flew to his waist.

Lance recognising what the look of panic was about, immediately reassured the boy “If you are looking for your locket I took it off and gave it to Iseldir to lock away, as you were well out of it I didn’t want to risk it getting lost”

“Want it! Mine!” Merlin demanded weakly, he felt awful.

“I will get it for you when Iseldir gets back from his rounds, I promise. But first we need to look at your wound”. With that Will came in, he had been told in confidence the theory concerning Ramesh and hoped it turned out to be true no matter how unlikely. He liked the boy and he deserved some good luck. 

“Before we do that I want to listen to your chest so sit up and hold onto Lance for balance” Will told Merlin.

Will got the other side of the bed so he was behind Merlin. Lance helped Merlin remove his t-shirt and as they did, Will looked at the back of Ramesh’s neck. There was a birthmark. Very quickly, as the other two finished getting the top of over Merlin’s bent arm Will used his mobile and took a quick picture. Luckily Lance didn’t notice, Will only hoped it was good enough. After checking Merlin’s chest sounds from the back he listened at the front, all the time looking for scare or any other marks. With Merlin’s hair messed up Will could see the scare on his forehead “How did you get that boy, looks like it was painful”

Merlin shrugged “Dunno it’s always been there.”

Will removed the dressing and looked at the gash, Merlin’s leg was looking red and angry but at least it wasn’t any worse. Although Ramesh would need a lot of luck, a full course of antibiotics, keeping clean and plenty of rest the wound a chance of healing. It was a pity it was on his good leg as it would make life even harder for the boy. Once Will was finished he left Lance talking to Ramesh and went to find Iseldir, who he had spotted returning from his rounds for supplies. Checking his phone Will grinned, it wasn’t the best photo but it did show the birthmark. Going into the storeroom where Iseldir and Arthur were Will smiled “I got a photo I also checked him for other marks” 

Arthur beamed as he looked at Will’s phone “He has one!”

“Yes have a good look” he handed over his phone so Arthur could have a close look. Arthur looked and could just about make out New Zealand but only very vaguely.

“Could you forward it to my phone so I can send it to Dad? He will have a better idea, but I can’t say I’m convinced, but a birthmark in the right place is something”

Iseldir looked at the doctor “Any other marks or scars?”

“Loads, but he would have, you’ve seen the boys they are always getting cuts and gashes goes with the territory. He has got a nasty scar in his hairline and forehead, he says it has always been there so I suppose he got it as tot. It certainly looks old enough” he paused “He wants his locket back Iseldir. Lance said you would give it to him when you got back. Oh and by the way I got you this” Will held up a swab in a bag “You might need it for DNA, slightly naughty of me, I told him it was to check for bugs and as I was taking one from his leg he never questioned it.”

Will looked at his friend “Don’t look like that. You wanted it all hush hush. I had a kit from when we had that trouble last year” Will was referring to a fight two women had got into over two new-borns both women claimed a boy and wanted to keep him. The other child was a girl and both already had girls so to clear the matter up Will had paid for a DNA test. 

“I’ll pay for it, how do we get it done?” Arthur said

“That’s all right lad I know someone who can do it” Will grinned “Save your money”

Arthur protested “It will have to be legal”

“Oh it will be, well as legal as taking a sample without permission, but you won’t need to worry about that either, not in India. Not quite the same rules as the UK” Will grinned “I want Ramesh to have a better life just as much as you, and I have known him for longer”

Arthur immediately sent the photo to his father and texted asking him to call when he had seen it. He also told him that a DNA sample had been taken.

Uther was sat at his desk when Arthur text come through. All through to be honest he wasn’t getting much work done. He was spending most of the time either looking out of the window or at the picture of Balinor, Hunith and the three boys that had been taken at just after Mordred’s birth. Like his son he was hoping that it was indeed Merlin. Under his breathe he had already promised his friends   
‘If it is him, we will get him home and look after him and get him well whatever it takes.’

Uther hated keeping it from Ygraine and Gwaine but knew he had to for now. Until they were sure one way or the other. Getting his phone from his pocket he hesitated as he saw it was from his son. He didn’t want to hear bad news. Opening it he looked the picture first and his blood ran cold in his veins and he nearly passed out. If only his workers could see him now, the great Uther Pendragon reduced to a mess by a photo. He knew deep in his heart that they had found Merlin.

He quickly opened the message and read it, pausing he thought things through and then before answering he made a quick phone call to his lawyer. Somewhere in the files was the DNA results on Balinor and Hunith’s bodies that were taken once the bodies were returned to England, at the time Uther had wanted to be sure without any doubt that they were dead and the correct bodies had been returned, they had used Gwaine’s DNA to prove the match. 

Then he rang his son “Arthur, I’m pretty damn sure it’s Merlin. But we have to be one hundred percent sure, we can’t afford to get this wrong. Get that DNA sample done and the results sent asap to the lab that the foreign office has recommended. I have Balinor and Hunith’s profile at the lawyers. I have asked advice so use the people I will text you, no one else. I have emailed them and they have promised to give it absolute priority. And whatever you do keep Merlin there don’t let him out of your sight” 

Arthur listened and then let out a sigh “Can I tell him?”

“NO! not until we have that DNA the minute we have proof I will tell Gwaine and we will come over on the next flight. I am booking a provisional flight for two days. You have done well boy, it was a leap of faith on your part but you stuck with your hunch I am proud of you, keep your phone with you at all times” 

“We already have the DNA swab, the doctor here will send it for processing.”

“I don’t care what it costs get it there as soon as you can, if we are going to get Merlin home we have to be one hundred percent sure to get him through immigration.” Uther warned

Arthur went to speak to Will “Rather than your friend Dad wants us to send the swab to Hyderabad, my father has arranged it to be flown there as soon as we can get it to the airport.”

“No problem, the lab there is the best in India, I’ll call a cab and get Claire take it now, it will be best if she goes as she speaks the lingo and the airport is a maze.” 

Claire was the clinics female doctor who worked with Will as many of the women wouldn’t let a man examine them. Arthur asked Iseldir if he could hang around the clinic. Knowing why he readily agreed, Arthur had worked hard in his time with them. “I tell you what I will take Lance with me today, I was going to get both your friends to come out anyway. It’s quiet here today and Will won’t be long. You can talk to Ramesh, give him his locket back if you want, that will keep him happy”

Arthur did just that, Lance was pleased to get to go out with Iseldir, they had already been in India for six months and he wanted to experience as much as he could in the time he had left. Arthur approached Merlin’s bed and found the young man trying to rest, it was clear he was in pain. 

“I will get Will and he can get you something, is it your leg or back?” Arthur asked concerned.

“I’m OK.” Came the reply “Can’t get soft I will be out soon”

“It’s not being soft! You will get better more quickly if you aren’t in pain.” Arthur said exasperation clear in his voice. Arthur went and found Will who came with some tablet’s for Merlin 

“Here you are Ramesh, don’t be an idiot and ask will you” he looked at Arthur “You can keep him company if you like there isn’t much else to do at the moment.” Will smiled at Merlin “We have blondie today instead of Lance.”

Arthur glared at the doctor he hated the nickname the man often used. Then he remembered the locket and took it from his pocket. “Here Iseldir asked me to give you this. While you’re here use my chain to hang it round your neck it will be easier for you, you can let me have it back sometime.” 

Merlin looked in surprise at Arthur “Aren’t you frightened I will sell it?”

Arthur laughed “I trust you, and anyway at the moment I could soon catch you, you won’t get far with that leg” he put the chain round Merlin’s neck and did it up. It gave him the chance to look at the birthmark for himself. “Tell you what do you want a haircut. I could trim it if you want”

Merlin glowered at him “You! It would look a mess”

“I’ll have you know I am quite capable of giving you a trim, not a top quality cut but enough to make you look tidier it can’t be that hard and what’s to mess up anyway” Arthur protested. He just wanted a reason to be close to the other boy.

Merlin reluctantly allowed Arthur to trim his hair, as Arthur said it wasn’t the world’s best job but at least it made Merlin look tidier. “There that will be easier to keep clean now. You know you are a good looking young man” 

That put Merlin straight on edge, all his mistrust came back “What you want?” he demanded. 

“Nothing it’s true” Arthur said “What’s the matter with giving you a compliment”

Merlin snorted “Last man that told me that wanted sex” he said bluntly “I don’t do that!”

“Merlin! You don’t think that of me do you, for a start you’re underage” Arthur said stunned.

Merlin looked at him strangely “Why did you call me Merlin? My name is Ramesh”

Arthur mentally kicked himself and was glad no one else had heard especially Lance or Leon “Sorry it slipped out, I know a boy about your age called Merlin”

Merlin didn’t look convinced, he kept looking at Arthur. But it wasn’t long before he had dozed off, the infection and pain killers were making him sleepy. For the rest of the morning Arthur kept busy doing small jobs around the clinic, but at the same time keeping an eye on the young man in the bed. When Claire got back Arthur retrieved a bar of chocolate he had asked her to buy. He took it to Merlin who had woken up “Here have a present you look like you don’t get many treats”

Merlin looked at the chocolate before putting out his hand “Why are you being so nice” he said suspiciously.

“Ramesh I always am nice, just don’t be so defensive you idiot”

He got a glower back “At least I’m not a prat” Merlin snapped back, his was hurting and scared, he hated being at the clinic and he knew he should be at work. Even if he also knew he could hardly walk.

“What’s it with you and calling me a prat?” Arthur demanded

Merlin grinned half-heartedly and shrugged “It fits you!” Arthur looked back and was pleased to see Merlin eating some of the chocolate. He was clearly enjoying it. Arthur did wonder if maybe he should have got something more nutritious, but he knew that Merlin had very few treats in his life. And if it was Merlin and it looked more and more likely that it was they would have plenty of time to build him up.

The next thirty hours was the longest of Arthur’s life. The results would be sent direct to Will as Ramesh’s doctor. When they came through he went with Iseldir and Arthur into the office and they rang Uther together. 

Iseldir spoke to both of them, he had skype on so they could all be involved. He tried to remain calm as he said “The results have been matched with the ones your lawyers sent over Mr Pendragon and there is a 99.9% accuracy on this, they say as far as the law is concerned Ramesh is Merlin Emrys.”


	12. Chapter 12

Arthur couldn’t wait for the time to go and as soon as he could he found a quiet spot where he wouldn’t be overheard, and rang his father’s mobile. When his phone rang Uther was in his study looking at the mail as he waited for supper. 

“Hello Arthur, is everything alright you usually skype?” Arthur could hear the concern in his father’s voice.

“Yes and no are you alone?” Arthur was nervous what if his father laughed at him, what would he do then?

“I’m in the study. Your mother is in the kitchen, now what is the matter?”

“Dad I want you to ask you something strange can you bear with me and just answer for now?” Arthur asked

“Carry on” Uther was very curious 

“Was Merlin’s body formally identified? I mean without doubt”

Uther eyebrows shot up “Arthur if I answer that you do not ever tell Gwaine what I have to say, I need your promise”

“You have it, Dad this is important” Arthur stressed “I have a very good reason for asking”

Uther decided to trust his son “There was no body, they could never find any conclusive match, the coffin held only Merlin’s teddy” Uther heard a gasp at the other end then his sons shaky voice

“Did Merlin have any marks that could identify him?”

“Look son what is all this about?” Uther demanded “These questions haven’t just crossed your mind”

Arthur took a deep breath “Please listen and don’t think I am going mad……You know the boy I have spoken about…Ramesh… well we had to bring him to the clinic today, when Lance was cleaning him up he found a locket tied round Ramesh’s waist. He was knocked out at the time, as they had had to treat him so Lance gave the locket too Iseldir for safe keeping, anyway to cut a long story short it was Aunty Hunith’s, it had their photos in it and had an H and B on the front.”

Uther gasped in shock “After all this time, but what has that got to do with your questions?” he demanded

Arthur took a deep breath and continued “A long time ago Ramesh told Iseldir that his mum had given the locket to him on her death bed, and here’s the strange bit she told him it had come from the sky and he mustn’t sell it as one day it might help him. Then I was looking at Ramesh and thinking how he was about the same age that Merlin would have been had he lived, then it hit me he had raven hair and blue eyes and he doesn’t look Indian, what if it is Merlin?”

“Son that is a massive leap” Uther paused thinking through what his son had said “So you need to know how to be sure?” 

“I know its a zillion to one shot dad, but can we ignore it?” Arthur asked

“No son, but this is just between us for now, don’t tell your friends or your mother and most defiantly not Gwaine. If it turned out to be a false alarm it would break him. Since you left for India he has made great strides in coming to terms with everything, I won’t see him go backwards” Uther thought for a moment, it was such a long time ago and something he had hidden in the back of his mind. Gwaine hadn’t been the only one with a long term grief. “Merlin had a birthmark on the back on his neck it was vaguely shaped like New Zealand. I only remember because he was conceived in New Zealand on a business trip and your aunt and uncle used to joke how it country had claimed him. If your Ramesh has a birth mark then we will have to take this further, do a DNA test or something.” Uther was thinking on his feet.

“I will try to find out. Dad thanks for not laughing at me” Arthur was relieved that his father seemed to be taking this seriously. “I’ll sent a photo of Ramesh now, I have one on my phone, have a look and see what you think”

Uther looked at his phone the minute the photo had come through and studied the boy stood next to Arthur. He was painfully thin but he could see what Arthur meant “Has he got prominent ears under that hair? Merlin had, his father thought of getting them pinned back but your aunty wouldn’t hear of it.”

“His hair is a bit long dad and as he is thin he is very angular. You know the more I think about it the more I believe it could be him, he has had a broken leg and arm in the past. The doctor here said that was why they are bent, they were never set properly. He could have got them in the plane crash, Ramesh says he was tiny when it happened and can’t remember it.”

“Arthur please don’t get carried away I know you like this boy but I don’t want you to build this into something it isn’t” Uther told Arthur “Promise me you will be objective”

“Sorry Dad, look I must go I will find out and let you know in the morning. I will get a photo of any marks if I can” Arthur switched of his phone and went to speak to Iseldir. The older man promised to get the doctor to check in the morning but say nothing to anyone else. That night Arthur couldn’t sleep, he wanted to go and check on Ramesh but forced himself to stay away. Despite what he had said to his father he knew he was already praying that Merlin was alive, and that they had found him. It would be unbelievable and just what Gwaine needed. And if he was honest he didn’t want to leave Ramesh behind in India when he left.

Merlin slept well after he had been admitted, and had his wound treated. The injury and the problems he had had with his back had exhausted him more than he realised. The sedative he had been given made sure he didn’t wake until the morning. As he opened his eyes he saw Lance looking at him. “Hi Ramesh good to see you awake how do you feel?”

Merlin looked around and then realised where he was, at the same time it dawned on him he was not in his own clothes, his hand flew to his waist.

Lance recognising what the look of panic was about, immediately reassured the boy “If you are looking for your locket I took it off and gave it to Iseldir to lock away, as you were well out of it I didn’t want to risk it getting lost”

“Want it! Mine!” Merlin demanded weakly, he felt awful.

“I will get it for you when Iseldir gets back from his rounds, I promise. But first we need to look at your wound”. With that Will came in, he had been told in confidence the theory concerning Ramesh and hoped it turned out to be true no matter how unlikely. He liked the boy and he deserved some good luck. 

“Before we do that I want to listen to your chest so sit up and hold onto Lance for balance” Will told Merlin.

Will got the other side of the bed so he was behind Merlin. Lance helped Merlin remove his t-shirt and as they did, Will looked at the back of Ramesh’s neck. There was a birthmark. Very quickly, as the other two finished getting the top of over Merlin’s bent arm Will used his mobile and took a quick picture. Luckily Lance didn’t notice, Will only hoped it was good enough. After checking Merlin’s chest sounds from the back he listened at the front, all the time looking for scare or any other marks. With Merlin’s hair messed up Will could see the scare on his forehead “How did you get that boy, looks like it was painful”

Merlin shrugged “Dunno it’s always been there.”

Will removed the dressing and looked at the gash, Merlin’s leg was looking red and angry but at least it wasn’t any worse. Although Ramesh would need a lot of luck, a full course of antibiotics, keeping clean and plenty of rest the wound a chance of healing. It was a pity it was on his good leg as it would make life even harder for the boy. Once Will was finished he left Lance talking to Ramesh and went to find Iseldir, who he had spotted returning from his rounds for supplies. Checking his phone Will grinned, it wasn’t the best photo but it did show the birthmark. Going into the storeroom where Iseldir and Arthur were Will smiled “I got a photo I also checked him for other marks” 

Arthur beamed as he looked at Will’s phone “He has one!”

“Yes have a good look” he handed over his phone so Arthur could have a close look. Arthur looked and could just about make out New Zealand but only very vaguely.

“Could you forward it to my phone so I can send it to Dad? He will have a better idea, but I can’t say I’m convinced, but a birthmark in the right place is something”

Iseldir looked at the doctor “Any other marks or scars?”

“Loads, but he would have, you’ve seen the boys they are always getting cuts and gashes goes with the territory. He has got a nasty scar in his hairline and forehead, he says it has always been there so I suppose he got it as tot. It certainly looks old enough” he paused “He wants his locket back Iseldir. Lance said you would give it to him when you got back. Oh and by the way I got you this” Will held up a swab in a bag “You might need it for DNA, slightly naughty of me, I told him it was to check for bugs and as I was taking one from his leg he never questioned it.”

Will looked at his friend “Don’t look like that. You wanted it all hush hush. I had a kit from when we had that trouble last year” Will was referring to a fight two women had got into over two new-borns both women claimed a boy and wanted to keep him. The other child was a girl and both already had girls so to clear the matter up Will had paid for a DNA test. 

“I’ll pay for it, how do we get it done?” Arthur said

“That’s all right lad I know someone who can do it” Will grinned “Save your money”

Arthur protested “It will have to be legal”

“Oh it will be, well as legal as taking a sample without permission, but you won’t need to worry about that either, not in India. Not quite the same rules as the UK” Will grinned “I want Ramesh to have a better life just as much as you, and I have known him for longer”

Arthur immediately sent the photo to his father and texted asking him to call when he had seen it. He also told him that a DNA sample had been taken.

Uther was sat at his desk when Arthur text come through. All through to be honest he wasn’t getting much work done. He was spending most of the time either looking out of the window or at the picture of Balinor, Hunith and the three boys that had been taken at just after Mordred’s birth. Like his son he was hoping that it was indeed Merlin. Under his breathe he had already promised his friends   
‘If it is him, we will get him home and look after him and get him well whatever it takes.’

Uther hated keeping it from Ygraine and Gwaine but knew he had to for now. Until they were sure one way or the other. Getting his phone from his pocket he hesitated as he saw it was from his son. He didn’t want to hear bad news. Opening it he looked the picture first and his blood ran cold in his veins and he nearly passed out. If only his workers could see him now, the great Uther Pendragon reduced to a mess by a photo. He knew deep in his heart that they had found Merlin.

He quickly opened the message and read it, pausing he thought things through and then before answering he made a quick phone call to his lawyer. Somewhere in the files was the DNA results on Balinor and Hunith’s bodies that were taken once the bodies were returned to England, at the time Uther had wanted to be sure without any doubt that they were dead and the correct bodies had been returned, they had used Gwaine’s DNA to prove the match. 

Then he rang his son “Arthur, I’m pretty damn sure it’s Merlin. But we have to be one hundred percent sure, we can’t afford to get this wrong. Get that DNA sample done and the results sent asap to the lab that the foreign office has recommended. I have Balinor and Hunith’s profile at the lawyers. I have asked advice so use the people I will text you, no one else. I have emailed them and they have promised to give it absolute priority. And whatever you do keep Merlin there don’t let him out of your sight” 

Arthur listened and then let out a sigh “Can I tell him?”

“NO! not until we have that DNA the minute we have proof I will tell Gwaine and we will come over on the next flight. I am booking a provisional flight for two days. You have done well boy, it was a leap of faith on your part but you stuck with your hunch I am proud of you, keep your phone with you at all times” 

“We already have the DNA swab, the doctor here will send it for processing.”

“I don’t care what it costs get it there as soon as you can, if we are going to get Merlin home we have to be one hundred percent sure to get him through immigration.” Uther warned

Arthur went to speak to Will “Rather than your friend Dad wants us to send the swab to Hyderabad, my father has arranged it to be flown there as soon as we can get it to the airport.”

“No problem, the lab there is the best in India, I’ll call a cab and get Claire take it now, it will be best if she goes as she speaks the lingo and the airport is a maze.” 

Claire was the clinics female doctor who worked with Will as many of the women wouldn’t let a man examine them. Arthur asked Iseldir if he could hang around the clinic. Knowing why he readily agreed, Arthur had worked hard in his time with them. “I tell you what I will take Lance with me today, I was going to get both your friends to come out anyway. It’s quiet here today and Will won’t be long. You can talk to Ramesh, give him his locket back if you want, that will keep him happy”

Arthur did just that, Lance was pleased to get to go out with Iseldir, they had already been in India for six months and he wanted to experience as much as he could in the time he had left. Arthur approached Merlin’s bed and found the young man trying to rest, it was clear he was in pain. 

“I will get Will and he can get you something, is it your leg or back?” Arthur asked concerned.

“I’m OK.” Came the reply “Can’t get soft I will be out soon”

“It’s not being soft! You will get better more quickly if you aren’t in pain.” Arthur said exasperation clear in his voice. Arthur went and found Will who came with some tablet’s for Merlin 

“Here you are Ramesh, don’t be an idiot and ask will you” he looked at Arthur “You can keep him company if you like there isn’t much else to do at the moment.” Will smiled at Merlin “We have blondie today instead of Lance.”

Arthur glared at the doctor he hated the nickname the man often used. Then he remembered the locket and took it from his pocket. “Here Iseldir asked me to give you this. While you’re here use my chain to hang it round your neck it will be easier for you, you can let me have it back sometime.” 

Merlin looked in surprise at Arthur “Aren’t you frightened I will sell it?”

Arthur laughed “I trust you, and anyway at the moment I could soon catch you, you won’t get far with that leg” he put the chain round Merlin’s neck and did it up. It gave him the chance to look at the birthmark for himself. “Tell you what do you want a haircut. I could trim it if you want”

Merlin glowered at him “You! It would look a mess”

“I’ll have you know I am quite capable of giving you a trim, not a top quality cut but enough to make you look tidier it can’t be that hard and what’s to mess up anyway” Arthur protested. He just wanted a reason to be close to the other boy.

Merlin reluctantly allowed Arthur to trim his hair, as Arthur said it wasn’t the world’s best job but at least it made Merlin look tidier. “There that will be easier to keep clean now. You know you are a good looking young man” 

That put Merlin straight on edge, all his mistrust came back “What you want?” he demanded. 

“Nothing it’s true” Arthur said “What’s the matter with giving you a compliment”

Merlin snorted “Last man that told me that wanted sex” he said bluntly “I don’t do that!”

“Merlin! You don’t think that of me do you, for a start you’re underage” Arthur said stunned.

Merlin looked at him strangely “Why did you call me Merlin? My name is Ramesh”

Arthur mentally kicked himself and was glad no one else had heard especially Lance or Leon “Sorry it slipped out, I know a boy about your age called Merlin”

Merlin didn’t look convinced, he kept looking at Arthur. But it wasn’t long before he had dozed off, the infection and pain killers were making him sleepy. For the rest of the morning Arthur kept busy doing small jobs around the clinic, but at the same time keeping an eye on the young man in the bed. When Claire got back Arthur retrieved a bar of chocolate he had asked her to buy. He took it to Merlin who had woken up “Here have a present you look like you don’t get many treats”

Merlin looked at the chocolate before putting out his hand “Why are you being so nice” he said suspiciously.

“Ramesh I always am nice, just don’t be so defensive you idiot”

He got a glower back “At least I’m not a prat” Merlin snapped back, his was hurting and scared, he hated being at the clinic and he knew he should be at work. Even if he also knew he could hardly walk.

“What’s it with you and calling me a prat?” Arthur demanded

Merlin grinned half-heartedly and shrugged “It fits you!” Arthur looked back and was pleased to see Merlin eating some of the chocolate. He was clearly enjoying it. Arthur did wonder if maybe he should have got something more nutritious, but he knew that Merlin had very few treats in his life. And if it was Merlin and it looked more and more likely that it was they would have plenty of time to build him up.

The next thirty hours was the longest of Arthur’s life. The results would be sent direct to Iseldir as Ramesh’s doctor. When they came through he took Arthur into the office and they rang Uther together. 

Iseldir spoke to both of them, he had skype on so they could all be involved. He tried to remain calm as he said “The results have been matched with the ones your lawyers sent over Mr Pendragon and there is a 99.9% accuracy on this, they say as far as the law is concerned Ramesh is Merlin Emrys.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the people who commented so quickly asking for the next chapter, here it is, but you may well still hate me. And a special thanks to Assasin of Syria for the praise of my depiction of the street children's plight.  
> ............................................................................................................................................................................................

His words were met with deathly silence as both men let it sink in Arthur was the first to speak “When can we get him home?”

Iseldir advised caution “Ramesh might not was to go. I know you find it hard to believe but this is his life and he has an inbuilt mistrust of people, you can’t just expect him to go along with this.”

“He is a minor” Uther said firmly  
“That’s as may be, but you forget he has looked after himself since he was eight years old, this will need to be handled very carefully or you will alienate him.” Will said “He is a strong willed you man, he has needed to be”

Uther took a deep breath. There was no way he would leave his friends son in such circumstances a second longer than he needed to, but at the same time he realised that the charity worker was putting forward a valid point. “You are right of course, I will fly over with his older brother on the next available flight.”

“What about his younger brother, I don’t wish to interfere but Ramesh has a very kind heart and always helps the younger ones, I understand they will have no memories of each other but it may help your cause.” Iseldir offered by way of advice.

“When are you going to tell Gwaine?” Arthur asked his father hardly taking in the conversation the two men were having.

Uther looked hesitant “As soon as I can, I could tell him and then we could contact you via skype again.” It was a conversation he had no idea how to have.

“Dad, Gwaine will be over the moon I know he will, hell mum will be so pleased” Arthur enthused.

“That’s as may be son, but it won’t be easy for Gwaine to accept. He went to the graves and started to make his peace.” He paused “But of course everyone will be overjoyed, but as Iseldir says we must be careful” he told his son. Then looking at Iseldir Uther said “I take your advice Iseldir about when to tell Merlin” Uther said “I suppose we need to call him Ramesh until he agrees to change his name” Uther paused “Arthur I will contact you as soon as I have Gwaine here then I will tell the rest afterwards. You know I still can’t believe it. Will Gwaine forgive me for this? After all he never knew we didn’t have a body to bury”

“He was a small boy Mr Pendragon, he would not have coped with the truth then. Who could have expected this ever happening?” Will said. 

As soon as Uther out the phone down he rang Gwaine and asked him to go home “I will be home very shortly. I’m leaving now, I can’t say what is over the phone but it is important, and good news”

Gwaine was curious and as he was free he headed home. When he got there he saw his uncle’s car parked outside so he went to find Uther in his office. “What’s up Uncle?”

Uther was incredibly anxious but there was no easy way of doing this. “Sit down my boy” As Gwaine took a seat Uther continued “Gwaine I have some information to give you. But I have no idea how to do this” he said honestly. Then seeing the look of worry come on to Gwaine’s face he hurriedly added “its good news”

 

Gwaine shrugged and looked at his Uncle “You’ve always said the simplest ways are the best” he was curious as to what had got his normally calm uncle so worried.

“Your right of course. Well here goes, Merlin has been found alive in India”

Gwaine’s face remained blank for a moment “Can you repeat that?”

“As you know Arthur is in India, a boy he has been dealing with was found to have your mothers locket on him, Arthur made some connections and we had a DNA test done and it’s Merlin” Uther hesitated “I know we buried him but the coffin was empty, as they couldn’t identify Merlin’s body, but we were assured no one could have lived after the crash”

“But I don’t understand where has he been?” Gwaine demanded, frightened he was in a dream and would wake up.

Uther told Gwaine how Merlin had been with his ‘mother’ when he arrived in Mumbai and that she had died two years later, he explained all he knew about the locket and what happened. Uther then went on to explain that Merlin had been living on the streets since he was eight. “If it hadn’t been for your mothers locket and Arthur’s observations he would never have been found” Uther ended.

“Are you sure? This isn’t some sick joke” Gwaine demanded still unable to believe what he had been told.

“A DNA test has been done, it is Merlin, and we didn’t tell you until we were sure. Now I have booked some plane tickets to Mumbai for later today, I will come with you”

“I can’t believe it and I can’t believe you keep this from me!” Gwaine said angrily. “You had no right”

“I did what I felt best Gwaine, if it had been incorrect and you had believed we had found your brother it would have been too much. I’m not even sure how Arthur and myself would have coped to be honest” Uther said honestly

I don’t think I will be able to believe it until I see him” Gwaine was clearly in a state of shock.

Uther handed over a photo he had run off from this phone “Arthur sent this. He took it before he had any idea who Merlin was, Merlin has been using the name Ramesh and doesn’t know his history”

Gwaine looked at the photo of the brother he had thought dead for so long. “You mean he can’t remember us?” Gwaine sounded heart broken.

“I spoke to Lance’s Uncle he says that Merlin believes his mother was a woman called Amata. He seems to have no early memories. That may have been due to the crash, he has a nasty scar on his forehead. Or it seems one of Merlin’s arms and legs were badly broken and very poorly mended, you have to remember there is no universal health care. It may be the trauma at the time has affected his memory, he was only four. Perhaps it was his way f coping with the situation”

Gwaine was stunned and didn’t know what to say. After sitting for a moment in silence he suddenly stood up “Well we better get going”

Uther looked at Gwaine, he was worried about his foster son “We have a few hours yet son, Look I have to tell the others yet, and Mordred of course.” He paused “Before we do would you like to speak to Arthur on skype he is expecting a call?”

Gwaine nodded and Uther got through to Arthur and they all said hello then Uther took a deep breath “Arthur I’ve told Gwaine all I know”

Arthur nodded he looked at Gwaine and could see he was shocked and not fully believing what was happening “Gwaine please listen and try to stay calm. I haven’t told Merlin yet, we think it might be best to wait until you are here, No one knows yet.”

Gwaine looked at Arthur and demanded “How is he? Where’s he been and is there anything he needs?”

“He’s poorly at the moment he has an infected leg. Merlin has been living on the streets, the woman he thought of as his mum died when he was eight, he has looked after himself since then” Arthur looked at his best friend and brother “He has no idea Gwaine, he thinks his name in Ramesh. Look Gwaine it’s true! we have Merlin back! Anything else can wait. The miracle is he’s been found and alive”

Gwaine had tears running down his face he couldn’t believe what he had been told but Arthur’s words and sincerity broke something inside him. “I can never ever thank you enough Arthur, I just don’t know what to say” he apused than said “Get him the best doctors there is”

“He won’t go to hospital Gwaine, we are having enough trouble keeping him at the clinic. Will is a good doctor and is treating him well.” Arthur knew they would never get Merlin to agree to anything else. “He’s a tough little blighter”   
Uther put his arm around the boy who was as close to him as his own children as the skype call ended “Do you want to be here when I tell the others?”

Gwaine nodded “This has to be a dream, I was at the grave……..I can see why you didn’t tell me about his body, but after all this time……..I’m never going to let him out of my sight again”

“Gwaine as we were told he is fourteen years old and has looked after himself since he was eight. We can’t force him to come back.” Uther tried to explain.

“Then I’ll stay out there” Gwaine said “Me and Mordred can live with him”

Uther left Gwaine to collect himself and he went to find Mordred, together they told him his brother had been found. His reaction was unexpected and difficult for Gwaine to understand “So….. Look I never knew him so why should I care, all it means is that Gwaine will ignore me even more”

“Mordred your brother does not ignore you! I would have thought you would have been happy to hear your brother is alive. Do you want to come to India to see him” Uther asked

“No I don’t” Mordred got up and walked out. Gwaine stared speechless at his brothers retreating back in utter surprise.

Uther got his wife and Morgana in to the office and told them. Both were shocked but happy. “Gwaine and I are flying out to see him later, I have already booked the tickets. Mordred says he won’t come. But he has a couple of hours to change his mind. Will you talk to him Ygraine?” Uther asked his wife.

Ygraine had her arm round Gwaine’s shoulder in silent support, she could only imagine the emotional state he was in.

“I will dad” Morgana said “He’ll go with you. Can we come?”

“I was going to ask the same thing” Ygraine said

“I think it would be best not to crowd the boy at first, what about you come over in a couple of days. Let him get used to the idea that he has a family first. I have spoken to the Foreign office and it will take a time to get the paperwork sorted out. Merlin will also need to be checked to see if he is fit to travel” Uther suggest “Perhaps by then Mordred will have had chance to think this through.”

Morgana looked at her father “Let me speak to Mordred now, I think he will want to go with you two. You know what he’s like”

Uther nodded “I do dear, but don’t push it, Merlin will find it hard without any animosity and Mordred can be difficult at times. We know he doesn’t mean it but Merlin won’t” 

Gwaine went off to see what he wanted to take with him, he sorted out some photos in the hope they would help Merlin remember. While he did Morgana went to find Mordred. They had always been close and she hoped that she could make him see sense. She knocked on his bedroom door and walked in. “Hi Mordred do you want to talk?”

“What about!” he snarled “I can’t remember Merlin, if it hadn’t been for Gwaine moping about I wouldn’t know about him so why should I care.”

“That’s not true Mordred, we have all spoken of your parents and brother. It has been hard on Gwaine it was a hard age to lose nearly everyone and you know he loves you to bits” Morgana sat next to the younger lad and gave him a hug “Don’t be bitter Mordy, I know it’s been hard on you to, after all you can’t remember them, but try to understand”

Mordred looked at Morgana, he was closer to her than Gwaine in many ways “But what if Gwaine doesn’t want to know me now? I mean he has Merlin back”

“Oh Mordred! Of course he wants you, you’re his brother and he loves you. You can love more than one person after all. Gwaine just wants you to be a family again. Why don’t you go with them?”

Mordred shook his head “No, I’d be in the way. I wouldn’t know what to say. Are you going?”

“In a few days, Mum and me will go later, we want to see Merlin as well but it’s not our place to be there first. Dads only going to support Gwaine, it will be hard on your brothers.”

Mordred stared out the window “I’ll go when you do” he said quietly.

“Ok, but please go and talk to Gwaine, don’t let him go thinking you hate him” Morgana pleaded. Then she left Mordred alone knowing he had to make his own mind up and no one would force him to do what he didn’t want to. Mordred waited ten minutes then went to his brother’s bedroom. He walked in and found Gwaine sat on the bed hugging a soft toy, tears running down his face. 

Mordred went to his brother side and gave him a hug “Sorry Gwaine I didn’t mean it”

“I know you didn’t squirt” Gwaine looked at his brother. “I’m scared Mordy, what if he won’t come back, what if he can’t ever remember us” Looking at the soft toy he said “This was Merlin’s he left it behind when he went to Australia, I promised to look after it for him. He was so upset when he rang up” looking at his youngest brother “I get it out sometimes it reminds me of him so much. You know he was always so happy he loved you, from the moment Mum brought you home from hospital. I was a bit jealous, but Merlin had enough love for everyone.” He handed Mordred two photos “That’s one taken just before he left and that’s one Arthur sent from India” he paused and took a couple of deep breaths to try to compose himself.

“I’m sorry Mordred if you think I don’t love you as much as Merlin, it’s not true I do, but I just get so sad. I loved them so much and for ages I felt I should have gone with them, that if I had they would somehow have lived. But then I know you wouldn’t have had anyone and I wouldn’t be with you. It’s going to be hard for all of us Mordred, but we will be together and that’s all that counts. Merlin will need your help as well you know”

By now Mordred was crying as well, he hugged Gwaine “I won’t go yet, I will come when Morgana does” Mordred told his brother. “and I will try. Are you going to take that with you?” he pointed to the soft toy.

“Yeh, it’s name is Killi, dad used to tell us bedtime stories about how our family years ago, in the time of dragons, could talk to them. He said we had a dragon called Kilgarrah and later a baby dragon called Aithusa. So on Merlin’s last Christmas Mum and Dad gave him Killi and he wouldn’t go anywhere without him.” 

“I’ll ring you Mordred, once I’ve seen him, and never ever think I don’t love you because I do” Gwaine hugged his brother. 

So several hours later Gwaine and Uther set off on the long trip to India. Mordred insisted he didn’t want to go. Gwaine was hurt by his brother’s reaction but in a way understood it and felt better after they had talked. Ygraine told him not to worry and to concentrate on what he was going  
to say to Merlin.

 

So a few hours later Gwaine and Uther left for India, Gwaine had a small rucksack that he refused to let go of but most of their stuff went in the hold. It was just over a nine hour flight and Gwaine hardly spoke in that time. Uther was just pleased they hadn’t told him before they were sure, it was clear Gwaine was having difficulties coping with what he had been told. Mumbai time was four and a half hours ahead of the UK so by the time they arrived it was nine thirty in the morning, both men had slept as much as they could on the plane. 

They were met at the airport by Iseldir “Arthur is staying with Ramesh, I have phoned to say the plane has arrived so he will tell him what we have discovered, so when you get there he won’t be totally overwhelmed.”

Gwaine just wanted to see Merlin but Iseldir was having none of it. “I have given this a great deal of thought. You need to understand some of what Ramesh’s life has been, to understand how he is now, and the choices he might make. So we won’t go straight there I will do a detour first”

Gwaine glared at Iseldir “Why not call him Merlin that’s who he is!”

“No Sir it is not, he has grown up as Ramesh, an outcast in society, it will be up to him whether he becomes Merlin once more.” Iseldir told Gwaine. “I have known him for several years he is stubborn, this will frighten him, he is not used to trusting people, also he has great feelings of love for the woman he remembers as his mother. You will need to go very carefully if you are to connect with him.” The charity worker looked at the young Earl “I am acting as Ramesh’s advocate in this, what he wants is as important as what you want from this. You can’t expect him to just go back with you and become an English teenager. Ramesh has looked after himself for eight years, he has slept out in the open in all weathers and had to work for anything he needed. You can’t expect him to go back, sleep in your nice house, go to school and fit in with your lifestyle. Like it or not that’s is a fact.” 

Gwaine nodded but said nothing Uther spoke to try to reassure the charity worker “Thank you for all you have done. I think we do realise this won’t be easy and anything you can show us to help is appreciated, but you understand his brother has grieved for a long time and this is hard for him as well.”

Iseldir’s first stop was the dump where he got out and beckoned the others to follow “I bring all the volunteers here as soon as I can. This is where Ramesh has spent at least ten hours of every day since he arrived in Mumbai at about six years old. He has picked rubbish for very meagre pay, even eating some of what he has found here. It is hard and dangerous work, many die under the rubbish or get crushed by the machines. They all get ill about once a month from the toxic waste and disease.”

He let the men take in the scene before moving back to the car. Both Uther and Gwaine were shaken and disturbed by what they had seen, and like Arthur and his friends before them had been nauseated by the smell. Then he drove to the street where Merlin had been living. “This is his home. On the pavement with a sheet of cardboard between him and the ground. Out in all weathers. Although the last two monsoons your brother has been in one of our shelters, but until then he slept out all year round.” He paused “They wash in the drain over there, and buy what food they can afford from the street traders. That’s if no one steals their money before they can send it. The people in India think of the street children a as less than human. They are attacked regularly receive not protection from the police who hound them, sometimes either beating them or take their money to leave them alone. Many of the boys turn to drugs, prostitution or crime. In recent months Ramesh has started drinking. He has old injuries that are causing him great pain.”

“But you help them?” Gwaine asked

“As much as we can, but so many and so few of us. As I’ve told Arthur, the best we do is raise awareness in the outside world. India is a wealthy country in many ways, but there are millions who need help and it will need a great deal of effort and will to change things”

As they got back into the car both Gwaine and Uther felt physically sick by what they had seen “I see now why Arthur was so affected. I’ve heard about this, even seen it on television but nothing prepares you for the real thing” Uther said honestly “I’ve every admiration for you and your fellow workers”

Gwaine looked at Iseldir “I’ve seen my brothers photo he looks painfully thin but how is he?”

Iseldir had been dreading that question “I’ll be honest with you, he has a badly infected leg which he may lose. Without you coming I know in my heart he would not have lasted the next rainy season. His old injuries have weakened his ability to make a living, even at the wages of the street boys. Ramesh is also shunned by many of the other boys because of his blue eyes and colouring. This has made it more difficult than it might have been. Even if he does agree to go back and with full help I don’t think he will reach your age. He has, like I said also started to drink. I hope and pray for him” he looked the two men right in the eye. “I also think he has lost the spark he needs to survive, he has no reason to trust or believe you, your only chance, in my opinion, is Arthur. For some reason he has developed a relationship with Arthur that has seen him accepting more help than normal, he trusts him more than most, or us that matter, and maybe you will get him to the UK and give him the chance he deserves. One thing I caution you on is don’t lie to him at all. If he asks tell him the truth no matter how painful and if he does go back with you don’t expect an English gentleman, Ramesh is a street child, he will need a great deal of patience and love”

“It sounds like you are trying to put us off” Gwaine said irritably.

“Far from it, but I don’t want you under any illusions, you can’t take him back then abandon him because you can’t cope, he would be better off dead than that. He has been through so much I don’t want his heart breaking” Iseldir said honestly. “I have come as near to trying to adopt Merlin than any child I have come across, he means a lot to me, that it why I caution you” he paused to let his words sink in. “Come on I will take you to him”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Assassin of Syria who provided the Hindi used in this chapter. I felt it appropriate to use it here even if the rest of the story it appears that Merlin talks good English. That was to make to story flow, however I did think that in extreme stress he would use the language that he grew up using.

As they entered the clinic Gwaine’s heart was in his mouth. He couldn’t bear the thought that Merlin might not want to know him. The tension was almost to much for him to cope with. His hands were sweating and he was shaking. Iseldir took them into his office. “I will go and check with Arthur before taking you in”

While they had been seeing where Merlin had lived and worked Arthur had spoken to Ramesh. He went into the ward and sat by Merlin who had been woken for his medication and breakfast. Merlin had just finished eating as Arthur sat by his side. “Ramesh can I have a word with you?” he asked the younger lad.

Without waiting for an answer Arthur sat down and looked at the puzzled boy in front of him “You know I called you Merlin the other day? Well it was for a reason. You know that locket you had and the people in it?”

Merlin nodded and subconsciously held onto the locket now hung round his neck. “Well I knew those people they were like an Aunty and Uncle to me. They died in a plane crash in some mountains not far from here. The same one’s I understand you came from with your mother” Arthur paused “They had a son your age and he was never found. The doctors did a special test and found out that you are that very boy, you are Merlin”

Merlin looked at Arthur in total disbelief “I am Ramesh not this Merlin! My mama was Amata”

“Look Ramesh I know you loved your Mama and I’m sure she loved you, but perhaps she saved you after the plane crash? It would explain your arm and leg, it would also explain your colouring. It was that with the locket that made me wonder if you could be Merlin” he paused and let his words sink in. “Iseldir told me your mama said that the locket came from the sky and might give you a way out of your way of life. Do you think she was trying to tell you about the plane crash?”

“You lie, go away!” Merlin’s eyes were wide and he was clearly very upset.

 

Arthur persisted “Ramesh please think about it, a man is coming from England to see you, he is my best friend and he is your brother. He wants to meet you”

Merlin called out to Will, in his distress he spoke in Hindi “ Isko mujhse dur hatao!” (get this mad man away from me!)

Will came in, he had been listening out in case there was a problem. He put a calming hand on Merlin’s shoulder “Ramesh calm down my friend, Arthur only means well, listen to him and give the matter some thought”

“Meri ma ki naam Amata hei. O ye sab keh rahihe?” Merlin protested still very upset. (My mama was Amata, why does he say such things”)

Will sat down next to Merlin and continuing to speak in English so Arthur understood he said “Ramesh, what Arthur says is true we did do a special test, it proves you were once Merlin. I can’t explain about your mama, unless what Arthur says is true.” He paused “This might be your chance to have a better life. Just listen to these people please, no one will make you do anything you don’t want to.”

Merlin looked at Arthur and reverted back to his poor english “What does this person want with me. If he hasn’t cared for this many years why has he come now?” 

 

Arthur swallowed back his emotions and tried to stay calm “We all thought you had died. Your brother buried both his parents and an empty coffin for you, he has grieved ever since. You were four it was ten years ago he was only eight. Your other brother was a baby, if we had known you were alive we would never have stopped looking….Please Ramesh please believe me, at least speak to Gwaine.” 

 

Merlin looked at Arthur “Go away, leave me alone!” he turned so his back was to Arthur and he was facing the wall. 

Will put his hand on Arthur’s shoulder and he motioned for the blonde to leave Merlin for a while. Once they were in the corridor Will spoke “Let him digest what you have said, don’t underestimate Ramesh, it was a hell of a shock to him, you have just turned his whole world upside down. If you push him now he will just dig his heals in. Wait out here. I’m going to give him something for pain, he is due anyway. I will try to talk to him once he has calmed down”

Arthur slid down the wall and sat on the floor, he wouldn’t move, if Merlin tried to leave he would know. The windows didn’t open and had a metal grid over them to prevent break ins so the only way out was the door. 

That was where Iseldir found Arthur when he came from the office “Arthur I take it from you being here that it did not go well”

Arthur looked up “You could say that! Is Gwaine and my father here?”

“They are come on through and tell them what happened” Iseldir put his hand on Arthur’s shoulder “It was never going to be easy, I have tried to warn you all”

As Arthur walked in the office Gwaine jumped up “Can I see him?”

Arthur sat down and looked at his friend “He won’t listen Gwaine, he just won’t believe me. I tried I really did”

“I’m sure you did son, we will have to be patient” Uther told them.

“Will the doctor is going to talk to him” Arthur told them. “We best wait Gwaine I’m sorry”

Gwaine paced the room, he was so close yet so far away, it wasn’t long before he said “I’m going to see him, perhaps he will listen to me!”

Iseldir stood by the door “Just wait son” he said “Give Will a chance”

Five minutes later Will came in he looked at Gwaine, guessing he was the brother “You can come in but don’t push it or you will lose him and so will we. He is very upset, just remember he isn’t well” he then looked at the others “Just him”

Gwaine followed Will out of the door, he had never felt so apprehensive in all his life. He swallowed several times before they reached the ward. As Gwaine walked in he saw a small figure led on a bed with the blanket pulled up round him, the boy looked very defensive and if he would get up and bolt. Gwaine stopped a little distance away. 

“Hi I’m Gwaine, you won’t remember me but I am your brother” he opened up the bag he was carrying and took out the stuffed dragon. “I hope you might remember this, you asked me to keep it safe for you” he stepped forward and put the toy on the bed, then sat in the chair at the side and looked closer, hoping to see traces of the boy he loves so much. 

Merlin put out a tentative hand and snatched the soft toy and looked at it his face showing signs of recognition, then in a quiet voice full of wonder Merlin said one word, but that word gave Gwaine so much hope “Killi”

“Yes Merlin it’s Killi” Gwaine beamed and had to force himself not to grab and hug the boy. 

Merlin’s face changed in an instant “I’m Ramesh I am not Merlin!”

“Sorry Ramesh, I knew you as Merlin but if you want to be called Ramesh I will call you that” Gwaine said he held out his hand hoping Merlin would take it but he pulled himself further away. But he took the dragon with him and clutched it to his chest. The Merlin looked at Will “Usko bolo rahne ki liye!” (Tell him to go away) 

Will snorted “Speak English Ramesh! You need to talk to Gwaine, you know you have to, if you are not this Merlin how do you know the toy?”

Merlin looked down at the dragon, he didn’t understand it but the minute he saw the dragon he just said the name. And even now he would not be parted from it, it somehow touched something deep in his soul. He looked at Gwaine but felt no sense of recognition. Gwaine seeing his confusion also acted on instinct.   
“When you were small, before the crash dad used to tell us bedtime stories, about how our family were once dragon lords and could talk to dragons. Dragons were our friends and kin. He and mum gave you Killi and you loved him. The dragon in dads stories was Kilgarrah, but you couldn’t say it so called him Killi” Gwaine put his hand inside the bag and drew out a small photo album. Opening it he placed it on the bed. “That’s all of us just before you and our parents left. It’s the last one I have. If you look in the locket you will see they are the same people and that’s me and you with our younger brother Mordred.”

Gwaine kept silent waiting for Merlin to speak, he hoped that his brother’s memories would be stirred and somehow he would remember. But Merlin remained as far away as he could, he was confused and frightened. Why did he know Killi? Was this man his brother? What about his mother? All these thoughts were swimming around in his head. He looked up at Will who gave him a reassuring smile 

“Ramesh just stay calm, don’t try to force anything.” Will went closer and tried to get Merlin to lay down “You will hurt your leg Ramesh, lie down and keep it straight, Gwaine will not hurt you.”

Merlin’s eyes were still as big as saucers but he allowed Will to take the blanket and help him lie down, as he did Gwaine caught his first clear sight of Merlin’s deformed limbs and also just how incredibly thin he was. His heart clenched in pity and despair. What had his brother been through, how had he survived? Trying his best not to show the pity he was feeling Gwaine silently offered to help Merlin move down the bed. But Merlin jerked away. He wasn’t about to let this strange man near him.

Gwaine once more put his hand in the bag and took out another small album. “This is some pictures of Mordred and myself as well as some of Arthur and his sister Morgana, who we have always known and also of Uncle Uther and Aunty Ygraine. I will leave them here so you can look at them. Uncle Uther is here with me, he would like to see you, can he …please”


	15. Chapter 15

Merlin didn’t answer but looked at Will who in turned asked “Would you like Arthur to come in as well? They won’t stay long and no one will touch you”

Merlin still didn’t speak, but nor did he indicate in any way that he objected, so Will walked to the door and called for Arthur “Arthur you can come in with Mr Pendragon, but no getting to near” he warned.

Arthur came in followed by his father, Uther looked with interest at the clearly frightened and confused boy on the bed. And like Gwaine his heart went out to him. Arthur smiled at Merlin “Alright Ramesh, no one will hurt you I promise, this is my father Uther Pendragon, and you used to call him Uncle Uther”

Uther chuckled “I think it was more like Uncle Uffa, hello Ramesh”

Merlin looked from Will to Gwaine then to Arthur and back to Uther. He then looked at the photo’s. He grasped the dragon even closer. “It that Killi?” Arthur asked.

“He recognised it as soon as I gave it to him, he even said Killi” Gwaine said. “He can remember Killi but not me”

“I think Gwaine you have changed somewhat over the years. Merlin was always very attached to the dragon.” His Uncle told him. That is something at least, maybe they would be able to convince the boy to go back to England with them.

Arthur moved slowly closer to Merlin “Don’t look so frightened Ramesh, no one is going to do anything”

Will decided enough was enough “Look I’m sorry but I think Ramesh has had enough for now, he needs to eat and then rest. You can see him later if he wants.”

Gwaine looked distraught “Can I stay please” he pleaded.

Will looked at Ramesh “Do you want Gwaine to stay?” Merlin shook his head vigorously his lips sealed. “Can anyone stay? Will added

Merlin looked at the doctor and then looked at Arthur and pointed. “You want Arthur to stay?” Merlin nodded. “There you have it” Will said firmly “Please let Ramesh have time and rest”

Gwaine stood up but left all the photos behind Uther put his arm round Gwaine’s shoulder’s and said “It will take time Gwaine. He’s known Arthur for a while that’s all”

“Goodnight brother” Gwaine said as he went out with Uther, his heart heavy with disappointment. He hadn’t even been able to hold the brother he had come so far to be reunited with. It was a crushing blow to him. Once they were back in the office Gwaine sat down as if poleaxed. 

“That was a good idea to bring the dragon” Uther told his foster son. “It might stir memories for him.”

Iseldir looked with sympathy at the pair. “Look I have to get back out, you are welcome to stay here for a while although I doubt that Ramesh will see you again today. I’d suggest you look around but that’s up to you. If either of you want to come with me you are welcome.”

Gwaine looked up “I’ll stay here, I just want to be close, just in case”

“I’ll stay with Gwaine but thank you, I may take you up on your offer another day. You have been very kind.” Uther told the charity worker.

“I have booked you both into the nearest decent hotel, sorry but we don’t have room here. It might not be up to your normal standard but it is close and clean. I know the owners” Iseldir told them “I will take you there when I get back or Will can order you a taxi”

Uther nodded but Gwaine was staring at the wall. Clearly deep in thought. Later Lance and Leon came to see their friend, they had been surprised to hear from Iseldir that they were in India. He hadn’t told them why, leaving that to the family.

“Gwaine, Mr Pendragon it’s good to see you, we weren’t expecting that” Leon said as he walked into the office.

Lance took one look at Gwaine and asked “Is everything alright, no problems at home I hope”

Uther turned to the two young men “No we have had a surprise, Arthur discovered that the young lad Ramesh is in fact Merlin!”

Both young men were shocked “You have to be joking! What great news” Leon said. At that Gwaine looked at his friends 

“He doesn’t remember us! He thinks we’re lying and is scared and won’t let us near him” Gwaine sounded broken and looked worse than his friends had ever seen him. 

Lance looked at Leon before saying “Give him time, where is Arthur?”

Uther gave a smile “With Merlin, by the way for now we are calling him Ramesh so not to upset him”

“So what happens now” Leon asked concern clear in his voice

“We don’t know, we clearly can’t force him to come with us, but at the same time it isn’t an option that he goes back to the streets” Uther said. 

“What if he never remembers us?” Gwaine said in anguish. “I won’t lose him again”

At that Arthur walked in “He’s asleep, he’s exhausted what with the infection and all” Arthur put his arm around Gwaine “He’ll come round I’m sure he will, after all he recognised Killi”

Will followed Arthur in “He’s a poorly lad, just give him time the stress won’t be good for him” 

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or rude but is there any way we can get him in hospital under a paediatrician. Surely he would be better off” Uther said “Money is no problem”

Will gave a rueful grin “Maybe not but Ramesh won’t have that. You have to remember he is from the streets where there is a great deal of mistrust for the government bodies. Fear of having a kidney removed while seeking help is a common fear and not unjustified. Also hospital security often refuse admission to street children even if they do turn up. I realise you would see he had all the help he needed but he won’t accept it. Do you know how long it took us to get the kids to let us help them? Some of the police here beat and abuse the kids, even taking money from them by extortion. I’m sorry but you have no idea of the problems children like Ramesh face daily.”

“But he needs help! Whatever he has been through he is a child” Uther protested.

“Yes he is, and we will do everything we can for him, but here he is classed as a nobody, less than that even, you have to face facts. If you push him you will lose him, and more than that he might not let even us treat him. Ask Arthur what trouble we had getting him to stay here!”

“It’s true Dad, I couldn’t believe it, Merlin was hurt when a lorry mounted the pavement and hit the kids. The driver and the police were more interested in stopping anyone removing stuff from the lorry, and clearing the road than the injured kids. Merlin wouldn’t come in even then, he worked with his injured leg. Iseldir had to agree that Merlin would work here for nothing to pay for his treatment, he is unbelievably proud and stubborn. If he could have walked he wouldn’t have stayed. Even with Iseldir and Will who he knows well, he has very little trust”

Uther was trying hard to understand, but coming from a country like England he found it hard to comprehend. “Would you object if I got someone to look at Merlin?”

“No I wouldn’t as long as Ramesh is happy, but be careful who you select, I won’t have him driven away by thoughtless actions or comments” Will said. “I got someone in for another child and it was disastrous”

“Then I will fly someone over with my wife and Merlin’s younger brother.” Uther said. “I will sort that out now”

While Uther and Will were talking Gwaine was surrounded by his friends who were trying to support him. Arthur turned to Will “Now Ramesh is asleep can Gwaine just go in and see him?”

“I don’t see any reason why not, I slipped him a sedative he will be deep asleep” Will said without a trace of embarrassment. Clearly he had Merlin’s welfare at heart no matter how brusque he appeared. 

Arthur took Gwaine through and the two young men sat at Merlin’s bedside. Merlin’s deformed arm was on top of the blanket and Gwaine had his first really good look at it. Even to him it was clear that Merlin’s arm was bent at an unnatural angle that would make it difficult to do certain tasks. Whispering to Arthur he asked “Is his leg as bad?”

Arthur nodded “He walks twisted, his bad leg is several inches shorter than the good one. Merlin also walks on the side of his foot instead of the sole. It’s no wonder his back hurts him”

Gwaine very carefully put his hand on his brothers, and left it there. He seemed to get some comfort from just being able to touch his brother. Merlin’s good arm was clasping Killi, he clearly wasn’t willing to let the toy go. Gwaine then spotted the locket round Merlin’s neck. “To think without that we wouldn’t have ever known” he paused “Remember what Dad always said about fate, that if something was meant to be, it would happen.”

“Then believe it now, he will come round Gwaine I know it” Arthur told the man he considered his brother, almost his twin in fact. 

They sat in silence just watching the younger boy sleep, it should have felt a creepy thing to do but it just felt right. Uther joined them for a while before taking them both off, all be it reluctantly, for something to eat and drink.

When they were all sat eating Uther told Gwaine. “I have asked a paediatrician to fly out from the UK to assess Merlin to see if he can be flown back. Then we will have to persuade him somehow. One things for sure I won’t leave him here to die or go back to the streets. Your father would never forgive me”

“If he won’t go back I will stay here with him” Gwaine told his foster father. I will pay for the doctor”

Uther didn’t argue he knew Gwaine needed to take responsibility for his brother, it was the only way he could cope with what had happened.


	16. Chapter 16

They left Merlin’s side before the exhausted boy woke, the doctor wanted him to rest. After talking some more and trying to work out the best way to continue Uther and Gwaine left for the hotel to sleep it had been a long and emotional day and added to the traveling they needed to get some sleep.

When Merlin did wake he was edgy and wary of everything. Gwaine was allowed to take him in his breakfast. The nineteen year old hadn’t slept well, he might have seen his brother but he was no closer to rekindling a relationship with him and was unsure what to do next. As soon as he got up Gwaine had spoken to Iseldir and they had worked out a plan to slowly integrate Gwaine into Merlin’s life. The first thing was to allow Merlin to get used to seeing his elder brother. But to allow him to make the next move if at all possible. Gwaine was pleased at least to see Merlin still had Killi close to him. 

“Hi Ramesh, here’s breakfast I hope you don’t mind me bringing it in. Will said I could.” Gwaine smiled and put the tray down on the small table by the bed.

Merlin looked at the food and picked up a beaker of chai, a milky spice black tea, that Will made sure Merlin had every morning then with his other hand he picked up an Indian crepe which Gwaine found was called a dosas, it seemed a strange breakfast to him. The food was soon gone. Merlin wasn’t used to eating first thing but like most street children took food whenever he could get it. Gwaine removed the tray and sat next to the bed. He picked up the photo albums that were on the floor by the bed.  
“Did you look at these?”

Merlin nodded watching Gwaine all the time. Gwaine smiled “Good, Ramesh I would like to be friends with you, will you tell me about yourself?”

Merlin just stared at Gwaine, he wasn’t sure what to think. He had looked at the photos and they had made him feel sad, and he wasn’t sure why. He had found one of a small boy holding the dragon toy in his arms and it confused him. Also the man that he had seen yesterday also made him feel like he should know who he was. He had even opened the locket and looked at the people. He had forgotten it opened, even though he knew he had opened it before. Iseldir had shown him the tiny button to press. Why would his mama have had a picture of his man’s Mama and Papa? Too many questions and no answers. 

 

Merlin looked at the man that sat in silence next to him and wondered what it would be like to have brothers, and why the man would say he was if he wasn’t. He had spoken to Will the night before the doctor had told him about the test they had done. “Ramesh it is rest of your blood, it looks at the things that make you who you are, your genes. It proves who your parents are, it is never wrong.”

Merlin hadn’t want to believe the doctor and had spent the night dreaming of his mama, he loved her and it made him cry to remember her. He knew from what the others had said when he lived in the slums that his mama had been strange, they had called her ‘pagala aurata’(mad woman) and was only tolerated as she and Merlin had kept themselves to themselves. He had looked after her as much as she looked after him. He was trying to come to terms with what people were trying to tell him. His mama had often told him how he had died along with his papa, but the gods had sent him back to her. He had not thought deeply about his before, but his mama had visited shrines to give her thanks for giving him back to her.

Could he really have a family? Merlin kept his head down and looked at Gwaine though his fringe, he wished no he hadn’t let Arthur cut his hair. The man looked like he hadn’t slept either. Will choose that moment to come in with his tablets and antibiotics. He held out is arm silently, Gwaine held Merlin’s arm for the doctor, Merlin tensed as he felt the other man’s touch.

“Thank you Gwaine” Will said with a smile “That will make it easier for you Ramesh” so Merlin let his arm rest down. Gwaine knew if he had wanted he could easily span Merlin’s forearm with his hand and once again he felt sickened at just how malnourished Merlin was. “I need to look at your leg Ramesh, Arthur and Lance have gone out with Iseldir would you like Gwaine to stay with you?” then Will looked at Gwaine “That’s if you want to?”

Gwaine wasn’t sure he wanted to, he hated seeing anyone hurt, but then if Merlin allowed it surely it was a good thing. He looked at Merlin “Well Ramesh do you want me to stay?”

Merlin looked at Gwaine and gave his brother a very small nod, which was enough for Gwaine, he would sit through anything if Merlin wanted him there. Will went and collected what he needed “I have already given Ramesh some painkillers but if you could talk to him to take his mind off what I am doing. Perhaps one of the stories your father used to tell you, I know Ramesh isn’t a child but Killi seems to mean something to him”

As soon as Will started the process Gwaine started to speak, memories flooded back for him as he spoke, he had always loved their father’s stories and the time he and his brother has spent together just before they went to sleep. Gwaine sat on the bed near Merlin’s head so he could move the chair and let Will do his job. As Gwaine spoke he got lost in the story, and didn’t even notice as he unconsciously put his arm around his brother’s shoulders. By the time Will had cleaned the wound and rewrapped the leg he noticed that, gradually as Merlin relaxed slightly. he was leaning more into his brother. It was if he was seeking comfort, then Merlin’s eyes closed and he fell asleep his head on Gwaine’s shoulder. 

Will stood straight and smiled at the pair. Gwaine looked up and Will whispered “Let him sleep”

Gwaine had tears in his eyes as he looked down at his brother’s head. How often in the past had that happened as their father had told them stories? As Gwaine was the elder he went to bed later, but as he wanted to listen to the stories he always sat with Merlin as his father told them, often like today Merlin would fall asleep and Gwaine would stay with him until he was sure he could move his brother without waking him. 

Gwaine couldn’t resist giving his brother a small hug. He looked up to see Uther stood in the doorway with a smile on his face. He drew out his phone and took a photo before leaving the brothers alone. Will followed him out.

“How did that happen?” Uther asked “I thought it would take a long time”

“It will, Ramesh didn’t end up like that consciously. Gwaine was telling his a story from their childhood as I was doing his dressing and Ramesh fell asleep. But it can only be a good sign. Mind you he hasn’t spoken to him yet. I do know that Ramesh did a lot of thinking last night so who knows. He was looking at the photos quite late.”

Uther nodded “I have spoken to Merlin’s younger brother and Grandfather today. They are flying over with my wife and daughter. Perhaps they will get somewhere.” He hesitated “I hope you weren’t offended that I wanted a paediatrician to see Merlin?” 

Will shook his head “No I would have done the same in your place, anyway he will need a check-up if he agrees to go back with you” Will looked at Uther and continued “What will you do if he refuses?”

“I don’t know, Gwaine has said he will stay here if that happens, but he has responsibilities that might make that difficult, although I know he will do anything not to lose his brother again. Quite frankly he has to come back!” Uther said “There can be no other outcome. Perhaps my wife will be able to get through to him.”

Will sighed “You do realise getting him to go back will just be the beginning, it will be a long hard road”

“Iseldir has already explained that, but what you don’t realise is the trauma Gwaine has been through since he lost his parents and Merlin, he won’t let his brother go not matter what the problems”


	17. Chapter 17

Uther wasn’t the only one pleased with developments, Arthur was also glad that things seemed to be moving forward. He had explained everything to Leon and Lance and they were shocked but happy for Gwaine. Lance, who at least had had something to do with Ramesh, was more cautious. “It will take time for Ramesh to accept it, and then the change in his life will be difficult”

Leon looked at his friend “I would have thought it would be easier than you think, after all he will be well housed have all the food he wants and people who love him. All the changes are for the better” 

“I see what you’re saying Leon but it’s still a cultural change, and also you have to remember he has been totally in charge of his life in as much as he has had to be self-reliant. He hates taking help, or what he calls charity from anyone. He wouldn’t even go to school. To expect him to fit in with a British family and their ways won’t be easy” Lance persisted.

“I agree with Lance, if Merlin can be convinced to go back we will all have to be there for Merlin, Gwaine and Mordred. But I don’t know what Gwaine will do if Merlin refuses to go, he is saying he will stay here. But Merlin won’t accept help here either, and I can’t see Gwaine becoming a street person or living in the slums, he also has Mordred to consider” Arthur added. 

“Well I suppose we will have to wait and see, all I can say is this is a hell of a mess either way” Leon looked at his friends “I mean I’m glad he was found but life won’t be the same for any of them now will it.”

“What’s even worse Will says it’s not even certain that Merlin will make it. He might have to have the leg off yet and due to his general run down state he might not survive that. Can you imagine what that would do to Gwaine” Lance was worried that this would end with Gwaine in a worse state than he had ever been in.

Uther meanwhile had spoken to everyone in England and found out that all four were traveling out. Gaius having decided that despite his age he could not stay behind so would be traveling with Ygraine, Mordred and Morgana. They would also have a Paediatrician with them, Ygraine had persuaded a very well thought of Doctor to fly out with them. 

Elyan Smith was young but had already made a name for himself and was the youngest Consultant ever to get the post in Paediatrics. He specialised in bone injuries and deformities so was ideal. Ygraine had been friends with his father Tom, in their youth, and although they didn’t see each other often they had kept in touch. The group would be arriving the following afternoon. Uther booked rooms in the same hotel as they were staying at.

Back in the ward Gwaine’s arm was aching from keeping it in the same position be he knew if he moved to fast Merlin would wake. The dressing change had clearly taken it out of him. Gwaine had been careful not to watch, the smell had been enough. To be honest it had frightened him. As he carefully started to move Merlin stirred slightly but did not waken. Gwaine carefully lay Merlin down, and as he brushed Merlin’s hair out of his eyes he noticed that the younger boy had a temperature. Very quietly he went to the doctors room, opening the door he looked in to find Will treating a small street child for a cut hand. “Merlin has a temperature.”

“I expected that Gwaine, try not to worry, as I change the dressing and clean the wound it allows infection to spread, a normal process, his body is fighting it. I will finish this then give him something, I assume he is asleep” Will continued to wrap the youngsters wound as he spoke. 

“Yes he is” 

“Then I’ll give him something intravenously he needs the rest as much as anything. Just stay with him if you don’t mind I won’t be long”

Gwaine went back and sat by Merlin watching as the boy slept, he knew he would never get tired of looking at Merlin, The more he did the more he recognised things about him from their childhood. Yes Merlin had changed,  
Yet he still had the same smile, even if it wasn’t as bright and trusting and the eyes were a colour he had never seen in anyone else. 

Will soon arrived and put up a drip and checked Merlin over carefully, so not to wake him. “I will stay for a while go and get a drink and something to eat. I think Mr Pendragon wants to talk to you as well, Ramesh isn’t going anywhere.” 

Gwaine reluctantly left his brother to sleep and walked outside where Uther was looking at the city they had temporarily found themselves in. He was deep in thought and didn’t hear Gwaine until his foster son stood by him “You wanted to speak to me?”

Uther looked at Gwaine “I did, your grandfather is coming over with the rest tomorrow, and they are also bringing a specialist with them. I need to know what your plans are. When are you going to ask Merlin about coming back with us?”

Gwaine sighed “I don’t know, He hasn’t hardly spoke to me yet, even today he has only pointed and nodded. I don’t want to scare him off”

Uther looked surprised “When I saw you earlier I thought you had made progress”

“Well I sat with him while his dressing was being done, and to distract him I told him one of dads stories, he fell asleep on me. I’m not sure if you call that progress” Gwaine admitted “He won’t let Killi go, so that’s something”

“Look son I don’t want to sound uncaring, but whether he likes it or not that boy is coming back with us, he is fourteen not eighteen and he will do as he is told. It would be utter stupidity for him to do otherwise. His health and welfare must come first” when Uther dug his heals in Gwaine knew he would not listen to reason but he was damned if he was going to force Merlin and certainly not yet.

“Look Uncle I know you mean well but he is MY brother, I am of age now and intend to apply for him to be made my ward. I won’t have him forced. Everything I have heard and seen so far tells me that would be stupid. I don’t want him to hate me” Gwaine said passionately.

“Better to hate you than be dead!” Uther said heatedly. “Because that is what will happen if he stays in India”

Arthur came out as he heard the raised voices, catching enough to realise what was happened he decided to try to calm things down. “Please you two, you will wake up Merlin. Look why don’t we wait to see what the doctor says and give Merlin and Gwaine a bit longer. After all there might be no need to consider forcing him”

Uther looked at his son “Not you too, don’t you realise that that boy is ill as well as malnourished, if he gets over this he isn’t going to live much longer if he stays here. His back is already causing him a great deal of pain. Do you want him to starve to death?” The honesty of what he was saying cut into Gwaine like a knife.

“You know I don’t! But we have to give him time” Gwaine protested

“And you think he has that time? And what will you do if he won’t listen? Face reality Gwaine, the same with you Arthur, I thought you would both have had more sense.” Uther insisted. “Get him back and treat him, that will take some time to sort out his limbs and back then if he wants to come back, he will be an adult. But by them he will see what a different life he can have”

None of them had seen Iseldir stood in the clinic doorway but his quiet but reasonable voice cut through their much louder voices “And how will you get consent for all these operations you have planned? You have to have his cooperation Mr Pendragon. Although he is underage the circumstances of his life may well be seen as enough to make him competent, under UK law to allow him to make his own decision under Gillick Competency”

The look on Uther’s face was thunderous. Arthur stepped in “Look rather than argue, why don’t we wait for the Paediatrician to get here? And the others, perhaps his Grandfather will bring memories back. We shouldn’t be arguing among ourselves, we all what the best for Merlin.” 

Gwaine turned and went back indoors clearly angry with his foster father. Iseldir tuned to Uther “Why don’t you come out with me today? If nothing else it will give you all time to calm down. I do realise what you are staying but this is a different world out here, and this is where Ramesh grew up.”

Uther turned to the charity worker “You know as well as I do that the boy won’t live if he stays here! And call him Merlin that is his name! All this pussy footing around won’t help anyone”

Once more Iseldir remained calm “Yes it is, but look on it as his choice. Many people wish to be called by another name and to force otherwise will be unproductive. Come with me please, you might find it helps you to understand and appreciate more what I am saying. Hard as it is he may choose to die here than return with you to a strange world he has no concept of. In his world he is making all his own decisions and is reliant on no one.”

Uther decided to do just that, he didn’t want to get in an argument with Gwaine and the tip might just help him to find a way to get Merlin back to the UK without all the arguing. He realised that Gwaine and Iseldir had a point but he also knew he was right. To live Merlin had to return to the UK.

Gwaine went back to Merlin’s side. The boy was still asleep but didn’t look well. Gwaine’s heart broke just to see him. Was Uther right? Would they have to force Merlin to return in order to save his life? Didn’t his brother have the right to decide what he wanted for himself regardless of the outcome? All Gwaine knew was he wanted Merlin to live and have the life he should have had, but he also knew he couldn’t bare it if Merlin ended up hating him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay I have been poorly  
> ..............................................................................................................................................................................................

Gwaine spent the day either sitting by Merlin, when he was asleep or trying to think of the best thing to do. It was clear Merlin was uncomfortable with him, and refused to talk to him still, despite falling asleep on him before. In fact Merlin was even cautious around Arthur, it was if his trust had been broken. Yet still the boy could and would not be parted from the toy dragon and the stories Gwaine had told him struck a chord deep inside him. But at the same time his mind seemed to full of conflict and he couldn’t really think things through. 

The infection in Merlin’s leg was beginning to affect him more than he realised and Will had increased his antibiotics and sent off blood sample and swabs to the local hospital. He was concerned that Merlin’s infection, despite the early improvement was getting worse. Merlin was sleeping more and was apathetic. But when he did wake he appeared to be getting confused. 

Uther tried to throw himself into his trip out and take his mind of the problem that was Merlin. But the more he saw the more he was convinced that he had to force Gwaine into taking Merlin back with them. When they went back to the clinic Uther took himself off to find out about the cities hospital’s for himself. What he found worried him. It seemed for the poor the treatment was hard to access and not of the best quality and even for the wealthy there was questions. By looking in the papers he found articles about recent exposures that found that some doctors were not even registered. Going to the hospitals as a visitor he found some looked very good and the areas for the poor were appalling. Speaking to some of the staff he found that if a street child ill it was hard to get them admitted. Although Uther .and Gwaine came to that, would pay for private care the fact that Merlin had been a street child would be counted against him.

The whole day left Uther with more questions than answers. The whole concept of the street children and their care angered him. After all the children were there through no fault of their own. He spent a sleepless night that night. In the morning he went to speak to Will.

“I went to research to hospitals yesterday. Is that why you are keeping Merlin here?” he asked frankly

“Yes, street children aren’t welcome and anyway most of them don’t trust the system. There have been scandals about kidneys being removed without consent to be sold on. Ramesh refused to go there. At the moment I can treat him here, if he gets worse and needs more treatment than I can give I will have no choice. But an adult will have to stay with him and without any form of identification it will be difficult. At least he won’t have to worry about paying for his treatment and drugs.” Will paused “If you hadn’t been here we could have paid for his drugs, but finding him a bed or even floor space would have been a challenge as would finding people willing to give him care. I don’t think you have really understood the problem these kids have”

“I have, but his brother is the problem, even Iseldir doesn’t understand that whatever Merlin agrees to we have to take him back!”

“Iseldir does understand don’t underestimate him, he thinks an awful lot of that boy, but he also knows how stubborn and independent he is. What you have to understand is Ramesh, or Merlin, isn’t a fourteen year old British boy. He might prefer to die than go back! We can talk round this as much as you like but YOU have to try to get in his mind and look at it from his point of view. Or you will never get anywhere.” Will looked at Uther with sympathy. “None of this will be easy but stand back and watch” he advised.

Gwaine was spending as much time with his brother as he could, although when the younger boy was awake it was clear he felt uncomfortable with the brunette by him. So at those times Gwaine mostly left and Arthur sat with him. At two o’clock Uther left to collect the new arrivals. Following Iseldir and Will’s advice he dropped the doctor off at the clinic before taking his wife, daughter Mordred and Gaius on the same tour he had been on.

“Merlin needs to see the doctor first” he explained “So I will show you what I was shown when I got here, it does help to understand the problems we are having with Merlin” he looked at Mordred “Your brother can’t accept that he is Merlin and not Ramesh. His life here has not been easy and he has a deep distrust of people”

Mordred was doing his best to appear disinterested but Uther knew he was taking in all he was told. As they drove nearer the dump Morgana complained “The stink! Where are we going?”

Uther stopped “Here, this is the dump that Merlin has worked on since he was six, ten hours a day sorting through rubbish to find things to sell. Evidently hard as it may seem to understand he also found quite a bit of his food here.”

His works were met by silence “He worked up to ten hours a day seven days a week for just enough money to survive” he went on to explain how dangerous it was before going to show them the pavement were Merlin had lived. By the time they got back to the clinic the others were stunned into silence. Even the normally unflappable Gaius looked disturbed.

In the clinic Iseldir and Will had spoken to Elyan and explained all they could before taking him through to see Merlin. Will had taken Merlin’s dressing of his leg earlier and covered it temporarily leaving Gwaine and Arthur to keep the lad company. “Ramesh this is the doctor from England who has come to look at your leg” Will looked at Gwaine and Arthur “Would you mind waiting outside while the doctor looks at him”

Gwaine looked hesitant but Elyan smiled at him “If you wouldn’t mind I don’t think Ramesh needs too many of us here. I will speak to you afterwards”

As Gwaine and Arthur left Elyan moved forward and took his first look at the boy he had flown so far to see. “Good afternoon Ramesh, my name is Elyan Smith I am a paediatric doctor who specialises in limbs and bone injuries.” He held out his hand. Merlin looked at the doctor then at Will.

“He won’t hurt your Ramesh”

Elyan spoke once more “I understand you have an infected leg but that you also have problems with your other leg and arm. Do you mind if I look at them? I will tell you what I find and you are free to ask questions”  
“Will I lose my leg?” Merlin asked quietly before looking at Will. “I heard what you said to the others! But you didn’t tell me!” 

Will looked embarrassed. “Sorry Ramesh I should have spoken to you, I didn’t want to worry you”

“I promise to tell you what I find Ramesh, can I look” Elyan “I can’t say otherwise”

Merlin nodded silently and waited as the doctor washed his hands and put some gloves on as Will moved the sheet away. Merlin’s leg was red and swollen. There was a clear sign of the infection spreading into the blood stream, with a red line going up where a blood vessel was. Will spoke “I have changed the antibiotics as a result of swabs”

Elyan knelt at the bedside and gently touched the leg and inspected it, then he listened to Merlin’s chest and gave him a quick examination before saying: “Ramesh this needs to be cleaned and far better than I can here, you need to go to hospital and go to sleep. I can ask and see if I can do it here in India for you.” He looked up at Merlin’s face and saw the fear “I will do it Ramesh, or be there when it happens, nothing bad will happen to you, but it does need doing or you might lose your leg.”

Merlin shook his head “No, I won’t go! Do it here please I won’t go to hospital.” His voice rose in a clear sign of his terror.

“Calm down Ramesh, I will see what I can do. Let me make some phone calls” Elyan smiled at the boy “Please don’t worry I won’t let anything happen to you”

Elyan cover the wound and taking his gloves off and washing his hands once more he got his phone out of his pocket. “I will phone here so you can hear what I say”

Before he had left the UK Elyan had contacted an old friend in Mumbai who he had done some training with in England. “Hello Jay, Elyan here, I have just seen the boy I spoke to you about he needs a wash out and soon, will it be possible for me to use your theatres?”  
After a few moments Elyan looked at Merlin “Ramesh I can arrange for you to have your leg cared for by me in a hospital here and as soon as you are awake properly you can come back here. I will stay with you all the time and someone else can come as well. If we do this I hope to save your leg. I can’t promise but I will do my best”

Merlin looked petrified so Elyan sat down next to Merlin and explained what he needed to do and why. “Will you agree Ramesh? please”

Something about the man, made Merlin want to trust him, he had looked at his leg and knew the doctor was telling the truth and the thought of losing his leg worried him, he knew he wouldn’t be able to look after himself if he did and would have to become a beggar and he knew there were many smaller children already begging on the streets. Merlin may be a street child but he did have pride and the thought of having to beg was too much for him to face he would rather die. He decided he had nothing to lose. Looking at Will he asked “You come?”

“I can’t Ramesh I have the others to care for, so does Iseldir what about Gwaine or Arthur? Gwaine would be best as I know Arthur is needed by Iseldir” Will was doing his best to get Merlin to accept his brother. It would be better in the long run. He wanted Merlin to agree to go back to England no matter what the others thought he wanted, he just wanted it to be Merlin’s decision and not him being forced. It would be hard enough either way. But it was clear to Will that the two men would support him.

“kay” came the whispered reply.

Elyan smiled “Thank you, now I will make arrangements, no more to eat or drink until I say otherwise.” He then looked at Will when did he last have anything?”

“An hour ago” came the reply.

 

Elyan patted Merlin’s shoulder “Good lad now I think you have some more visitors. I will talk to your brother, get things organised and I will see you later. Will can you put a temporary dressing on Ramesh’s leg please” 

Elyan left Merlin to the other doctor and walked out to speak to Gwaine and Uther. He found them with the rest of the family who had just arrived, Gwaine seeing the doctor moved towards him “How is he?”

“Do you want me to tell you now or alone Sir?” he asked Gwaine. 

“It’s Gwaine please and you can tell us all, we are all family.”

“I have looked at his injury and as the doctor here warned me the infection is getting worse. I have spoken to Merlin and he has reluctantly agreed with me to go to hospital to have an anaesthetic so I can clean it up for him. He is terrified pf the prospect I can tell, I have spoken a surgeon at the hospital and he has agreed that I can use their theatres. Once Merlin in awake I will bring him back here. Now by doing this I hope to save his leg but I suspect that he will need further surgery. He wants someone he knows to go with him. Will is trying to get that to be you Gwaine” he paused “I will be taking him in about three hours. So please he is not to eat or drink until then. Turning to Gwaine he added “I have provisionally made arrangements, but clearly there will be a cost”

Without hesitation Gwaine replied “Whatever it takes, I will pay it”

“I thought you would say that I will leave you to all see him, I must go and make further arrangements.”

Gwaine let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god for that” he turned to the others “I will go and see him and let him know you are all here”

“Morgana and I will wait until later Gwaine I think Mordred and Gaius should see him first” Ygraine said “We don’t want to overwhelm him.”

Gwaine nodded and went in to find Will just finishing the dressing. “Hello Ramesh. Would you like me to come with you later?”

Expecting a nod he was surprised when Merlin spoken “Yes please” it was clear to Gwaine that the young man was terrified of what was happening to him.

Gwaine walked closer and without thinking sat on the bed and pulled Merlin into a hug. At first Merlin stiffened then he slowly relaxed just a bit. “I will always be there for you brother” Gwaine told him. Then pulling away he said “Your other brother Mordred and our grandfather have come from England to see you. Mordred was a baby when we lost you so he can’t remember you. But I have always told him about you. He is ten now. Gramps is getting a bit deaf so if you whisper, he night not hear you” Gwaine warned “Can they come in?” 

Merlin looked even more apprehensive and clutched the dragon even closer to his chest. “And Arthur?” he asked.

Gwaine grinned “And Arthur” Then he went to the door. He had already warned them to call Merlin Ramesh so he just waved then in asking Arthur to also come in. The he returned to Merlin’s side. Arthur sat on the other side in support but far enough back so Mordred and Gaius could get close. Mordred was very cautious. He wasn’t sure what to say to his person who he didn’t remember or know, yet who was his brother. In the end he smiled and held out his hand and gave Merlin a bag of things he had collected from his grandfathers. It was some of Merlin’s childhood toys he had kept at Gaius’s and that Gaius had never had the heart to get rid of. Merlin looked in the bag and smiled. Inside was some plastic knights on horseback .

“Thank you…….Mordred” Merlin said hesitantly. Merlin had always had a soft spot for children younger than himself and had always looked out for then as best he could. He gave Mordred a small weak smile then he looked at the man behind Mordred and frowned.

“Hello my boy, it’s so very good to see you again.” Gaius had tears in his eyes as he looked at his lost grandson for the first time in ten years. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are alive. Can I hug you?”


	19. Chapter 19

Gwaine was watching Merlin as his grandfather spoke hoping to catch some sign of recognition. After all of all of them Gaius had changed the least over the past ten years. Merlin had always been close to his Grampa they all had. He noticed Merlin frowning and as his grandfather asked for a hug his face changed, he was clearly apprehensive at what he was being asked but at the same time accepting. 

Merlin’s reaction was not unexpected as far as Arthur was concerned he had seen first-hand how the Indian people respected the older generation, although Merlin hadn’t had close contact with that generation in his own life he knew that such people should be treated with deference. So although he didn’t want to have close contact he was reluctant to say so. He thought the man looked and sounded kind, so he nodded.

As Gaius hugged his grandson he noticed he was not hugged back, so released the slender body, looking down at Merlin he spoke softly and kindly “I hope soon you will remember us all, we have never forgotten you but I never thought I would see you again in this life.” He had no wish to pressurise Merlin in anyway. He hoped to act as a bridge between the more volatile brothers and the newly discovered Merlin. 

Merlin noticed a single tear run down Gaius’s cheek and reached forward and wiped it away with his finger. “Don’t be sad” he whispered.

Gaius smiled “I am not sad my child, I am happy beyond belief to see you again”

Merlin looked at Gaius and then at Mordred and Gwaine then he turned to Will and in Hindi said “They all seem so certain they are my family, but I have no family”

Will have a rueful smile “You do Ramesh, you really do, I do not lie the tests show you are their long lost family member”

“But my Mama she was my family I loved her and she is dead” Merlin was confused and the infection was not helping him “What if I don’t want this family? They are nothing to me.”

“Then perhaps you need to let them in Ramesh, they clearly love you, and want you to accept them, that doesn’t mean you have to love your mama any less.” Will gave Merlin a look of encouragement. 

But Merlin couldn’t speak he was feeling to overwhelmed, he was also feeling very tired. The dressing and mornings events had taken it out of him. The infection was making him weak. Merlin’s eyes started to close and he sank back into the pillow.

Gwaine realising his brother was exhausted moved forward and very carefully moved Merlin down the bed so he was led down instead of sitting, Will move the pillow for him. Then Gwaine gently and lovingly covered the slight frame and stepped back. Looking at his youngest brother and Grandfather he smiled at them “He needs his rest, maybe later, I will let Aunty Ygraine and Morgana in just to see him then I think we should leave him to sleep”

Gwaine went out and spoke to his Aunty and her daughter “Just for a short visit he’s fallen asleep so you will have to speak to him later.” He told them.

The two women walked in, even though both woman had seen photos of Merlin, they were upset to see how slender he appeared under the sheet, he hardly left a bump in the bed, and how small being about the same size as his younger brother in height but half the weight. This face was flushed from the infection and he had dark circles under his eyes.

The two women took the chairs at one side of the bed opposite Gaius, Mordred moved round so they could get closer. Ygraine was clearly finding it difficult, she had always had a lot to do with Merlin before the crash. Her and Hunith had been like sisters and spent a lot of time together. In many ways Merlin was like her son.

Morgana was also remembering the boy she once knew and played with. Due to the difficulties Gwaine had experienced in coping none of them had ever had chance to let their memories fade at all, so many of the recollections they had were vivid. Even thought for Morgana most of her life had been spent without Merlin.

Ygraine reached out and gently took Merlin’s hand in hers “He’s so hot” she commented concern in her voice. 

Will spoke in hushed tones “The infection is taking hold, hopefully once he has had the wash out it will come down”

Ygraine looked at the doctor “Can we just sit here please? It has been so long”

Will nodded. Uther came in at that moment and took Morgana, Arthur and Mordred of to get something to eat while Gaius and Ygraine opted to stay with Merlin and Gwaine. Gwaine had perched himself at the head of the bed and watched his brother sleep. At least Merlin was tolerating him a bit more, even when he was awake.

It was clear to them all that Merlin was a poorly boy and they all fought the demons in their heads that were telling them they might lose Merlin even as they had found him. Merlin began to mutter in his sleep and Ygraine immediately and without thinking stroked his hand in comfort, just as she had when he was a child and was upset. Listening they heard him mention his mama and muttering about the pain in his leg. This was too much for Gwaine who placed his hand on Merlin’s brow and carded his hand through Merlin’s hair to try to calm him. “Shush Merlin try to rest, we are here for you”

For a second he thought he had misheard Merlin’s next mutterings but looking at his Grandfather he realised he hadn’t, Gwaine’s hand went still in shock but Merlin’s head moved as if seeking the comfort so Gwaine resumed the comforting movement of his hand. Then again he heard it, very quietly Merlin murmured “Daddy hurts” 

Now to everyone’s knowledge, from want Merlin had told Iseldir, Merlin hadn’t had a father figure in his life since Balinor, anyway the Indian children called their fathers papa or pita not daddy. Could it be that the pain he was experiencing was bring his memories of the plane crash to the fore.

Will looked across for where he was sitting doing some paperwork “Gwaine keep doing what you are doing, he clearly thinks you’re his father. It might help when he wakes”

The thought that Merlin might think he was Balinor caught at Gwaine’s heartstrings and he wasn’t sure he wanted that to happen, but he did as he was told. Then as Will injected some painkiller into Merlin’s intravenous cannula, and to everyone’s surprise, Merlin called out for his Mother, not his ‘mama’ as he had always called Amata but ‘Mummy’ again asking for the pain to go away in a very childlike tone. This time Ygraine spoke as she continued to hold his hand “It’s alright Merlin the doctor will stop the pain soon.” 

With her other hand Ygraine placed Killi so Merlin could touch it with his other hand, trying hard to remember all the ways Merlin had found comfort as a small child. The combination of Ygraine, Gwaine and the painkillers soon sent Merlin into a restful sleep. As Ygraine looked up at Gwaine she saw tears running down his face. She wasn’t feeling much better herself. Gaius put his arm round both of them “This can only be a good thing, don’t you agree doctor?”

“I hope so, he may not remember of course, hopefully he will and think it was a dream. But what you do need to bear in mind it helped him when he needed it”

Merlin was woken up later and Will carried him out to a waiting ambulance and went with him to the hospital for his washout. He had mentioned nothing of what happened and Gwaine didn’t think it was the correct time to mention it. So he followed Arthur and Uther to the car Uther had hired. While Merlin was got ready Gwaine signed all the paperwork and paid the fee required. Then he and Arthur went with Merlin and stayed until he was asleep. It was clear to both of them he was terrified, he had reluctantly given Iseldir his locket before leaving the clinic. In fact it was the charity worker that persuaded a very reluctant Merlin to go to the hospital as he tried to get out of going at the last minute.

Once Merlin was asleep and in the theatre the three men sat and waited for Elyan Smith to come and tell them he had finished. It was a good hour and a half before they were taken to a small ward where Merlin was recovering. Elyan was by Merlin’s side. He looked up and smiled “The operation was a success, I removed a collection of pus and infected tissue and have given the area a good clean. I haven’t closed the wound as he will need further washouts. What I would like to do however is get him back to the UK.” He hesitated before continuing, looking at Gwaine he said “I looked at this other leg and arm whilst he was on the table. They can be dealt with but it will be a long process and after all this time I cannot guarantee complete repair. I also had an x ray’s done of his spine and limbs, his spine has been twisted out of alignment by his strange gait. But once we get the leg sorted a brace will help stop the pain until everything settles. But the surgery is not possible here, he will need to travel to the UK for that. This won’t be a quick process and will take many operations.”

Gwaine nodded “I thought as much, now all we need to do is get him to agree to come with us. When will he need his next washout?”

The doctor looked sympathetic. “Ideally three days, we need to get him back to the UK as soon as we can. I can’t stay here indefinably I have operations scheduled but I could do one more wash out here, but then I have to go back. Also he really needs to be in hospital and not the clinic”

Uther spoke up “Then we get him back, you have to be practical Gwaine. I have arranged a meeting at the foreign office tomorrow morning so we can do the paperwork”

Gwaine looked at his foster father “I have told you I will not force Merlin to go anywhere, I will talk to him tomorrow when he had had time to recover. Just be patient. We don’t know how much he remembers after earlier”

Arthur glance at both the other men, then at the doctor before saying. “Look this isn’t the place for this conversation. We need to concentrate on Merlin’s needs and for now that’s recovering from his anaesthetic. You said he need to stay in hospital does that mean you want him to stay here? He won’t want to”

“I know, I may not know Merlin but the attitude of the staff here has already told me it will be difficult. Even knowing he is related to you, they have shown themselves to be prejudiced against Merlin. Their comments have been difficult for me to understand, rather than feeling sorry for him they have shown a surprising level of intolerance even hatred.” Elyan did indeed looked shocked.

“The street children are seen as less than human” Arthur told the doctor “Merlin refused to come here”

“I have made enquiries and they administration has grudgingly allowed Merlin to have a bed here, but on a ward where the beds reserved for the poor and needy, even though I have told them the bed will be paid for. And someone will need to stay here with him” Elyan said clearly embarrassed “With that in mind and from an infection point of view he may well be better off in the clinic after all”

Uther became red with anger “Leave this to me. Merlin is a British citizen and I will not allow this to happen, I will phone the embassy now”

Gwaine put his hand on Uther’s arm “Don’t Uncle, if they don’t want him here then we move him, after all Will and the clinic will give him the care he needs. If you force them to accept him it will be difficult for him. He needs to know he is accepted” Gwaine turned to Elyan. “Can we make sure the clinic gets all the drugs and such Merlin needs?”

“I can do that, but I do agree with Mr Pendragon, whilst I can see what you are saying, your brother needs high level care if he is to have a good outcome. Perhaps you will need to tell him he goes back now and once his treatment is over he can come back if he wishes. In all probability he will be of age then anyway. I suggest you all talk it though calmly and sensibly once we have Merlin settled. “I am going to arrange an ambulance for later once Merlin has woken up a bit, but I will stay here and recover him, I think it might be best” 

Back at the hotel the Pendragon’s and Emrys’s were staying at Gaius and Hunith were talking. Morgana and Mordred were there listening in.  
“I was shocked Gaius by how small and thin he is, I mean Merlin was always slight but….”

“My dear he hasn’t had a good life we knew that before we came. What we now need to do is concentrate on trying to reach his memories. Both for his sake and theirs I hope your husband and Gwaine don’t come to blows. They both have valid points but are both stubborn. The last thing Merlin needs is those two fighting over him.”

“Arthur tells me he remembered Killi straight away, but as for the rest.” Ygraine was at a loss.

“Killi is an uncomplicated part of his childhood and he was always very fond of the toy. As for the rest of us we have all changed, even me. I was speaking to Iseldir and also a couple of people in the UK. They all say the same thing, either the period after the crash was so horrific that he has buried it deep in his sun conscious or his injuries at the time were bad enough for him to have no memory, he does appear to have had a head injury. My guess is the former. After earlier perhaps those memories are coming to the surface, let’s wait and see”

“So what else can we do?” Ygraine asked

“He has to feel safe. In that Gwaine is right forcing Merlin might not help, but then so is Uther the boy needs treatment. We have to hope his memories are surfacing.” Merlin’s grandfather had never felt so helpless.

Mordred looked at Morgana “What can we do?”

“I don’t know Mordred, I guess we just try and make Merlin feel safe. It seems strange calling him Ramesh, but if that’s what he wants” Gaius told the young boy

“I’m not so sure about that” Ygraine said “I mean his memories are connected to ‘Merlin’ not Ramesh. Perhaps we should call him Merlin? like we used to, and talk about the past with him”


	20. Chapter 20

Merlin was brought back to the clinic later that day. Elyan promised Will to help look after Merlin which was just as well because Merlin’s high remained temperature remained and he was slightly confused. Gwaine and Arthur both spent as much time as they could by his side. Lance having taken over Arthur’s duties with Iseldir. Iseldir visited as often as he was able. On one of Merlin’s more lucid moments Gwaine decided to raise the issue of a return to the UK. 

“Ramesh you need more operations, I want to take you back to England with me, so Doctor Elyan can treat you there. The hospitals are different there. They will be very kind to you.”

Merlin looked at Gwaine as if he didn’t believe him, so Arthur tried to reassure him “It’s true Merlin, there are no street boys like you in England. The Doctors and Nurses will be nice and we can stay with you if you like.” Arthur knew that there were run away children in the UK, who lived rough, so what he was saying wasn’t totally true, but he felt he wasn’t lying as there wasn’t the same  
prejudice or numbers in the UK.

“Stay here!” Merlin insisted stubbornly.

“You can’t Merlin you will die and I couldn’t bear to lose you again” the anguish in Gwaine’s voice was clear.

 

Arthur tried a different tack “You would have to stay for your treatment, both for your leg and then your other leg and arm, the doctor says he can make them better as well. It will take time but once they are done and you are older there will be nothing to stop you coming back, if you still want that.” He paused “Just think the pain in your back will go and you will be able to walk properly” he smiled encouragingly at Merlin. “You would be an idiot to turn that down”

Gwaine hit his friend “Don’t call my brother an idiot” 

“I didn’t I said he would be an idiot to turn the chance down, that’s different.” Arthur protested.   
Merlin closed his eyes and ignored the two men. They sat there for a time just keeping each other company. Then the door opened and Mordred came in, he looked at Gwaine “I’ll sit here for a bit if you like you need to get something to eat. Uncle Uther is arranging an appointment at the embassy for you both.”

Gwaine huffed his annoyance but got up “Thanks Mords, I’ll go and speak to him.”

Seeing Gwaine was in no mood for his father to ramrod over what everyone one else said Arthur followed “I’ll ask mum to come in as well” he told the youngster.

“Give me some time alone first will you” Mordred asked. After he was alone with Merlin, Will and Elyan were in the office next door, Mordred sat down next to his brother “I know you’re awake, I do that when I don’t want to speak to anyone either.”

Merlin opened his eyes and looked at Mordred, the youngster smiled at his brother “I don’t know you at all, you know that don’t you? I was a baby when the plane crashed. But Gwaine and the others talk about you a lot, so I sort of know you.” He paused “Did you know that Gwaine hasn’t coped well with losing you all, and now he has found you again, but he is arguing with Uncle Uther now. It’s about you, I’ve heard them.”

 

Merlin blinked in surprise “Sorry” he whispered.

“You could stop it you know. Make everyone happy, everyone one is scared you will die, me as well. I mean I have only just found you after all. I don’t want you to die, and it will kill Gwaine, he used to drink a lot because he missed you and Mum and Dad so much. He’s only got better recently.” Tears started to fall down Mordred’s face, he brushed them angrily away. “I want to know you as well and Grampa is also upset. Why don’t you come back with us? Then everyone will be happy” 

Merlin looked at the younger boy, he always did his best to look after the younger ones on the street, although he wasn’t much bigger than Mordred and a lot thinner he knew the boy was four years younger than him. Merlin shuffled over in his bed and patted the mattress. 

“Come here” he said gently. The he pulled Mordred closer to him. Mordred was surprised but slipped his shoes off and climbed next to Merlin and cuddled up to him.

Mordred looked at Killi lying on the bed. “You know Gwaine keep Killi since you disappeared, sometimes he slept with him, I saw him, I used to think he loved you more than me, but he told me he loved us both, but not having you broke his heart.”

Mordred’s words got through to Merlin like nothing else he had been told. He hated the thought that he would cause the family to be upset, they had been good to him and what did he have to keep him here but a patch of pavement. He was scared of the future and what it would bring. He had been thinking lots and also dreaming of the people in the locket, he had begun to wonder whether perhaps he did have family after all, although he was yet to ne convinced. Taking a leap into the unknown he said to the boy next to him “I go back, for you” 

Merlin couldn’t bear to think he was causing so much unhappiness and arguments. After all once he was better Arthur had said he could come back. He belonged nowhere, and had no one since his mama had died. So what did it matter where he was. So with decided he fell asleep holding his younger brother. He had just made a small step in a long journey of change and discovery. But he had no idea how his life would change and how hard it would be for him.

Ygraine and Gaius walked in to find the two brothers asleep together. Carefully taking a photo of the two they walked back out to let them rest. The headed round to the second door into the doctor’s office and knocked. Will opened the door “Hello Mrs Pendragon, Gaius what can I do for you?”

Ygraine beamed at the doctor. “I know you might not approve, but have you see Merlin and Mordred?”

Will didn’t answer instead he looked through the other door. Before closing it quietly “”With the paces Ramesh normally sleeps I think that is alright although Elyan might not agree”

Ygraine showed the other doctor the photo. “Like Will said I don’t normally permit such things, for infection control but in this case I don’t think it will hurt. Do we know why?”

“No Mordred went in earlier when Arthur and Gwaine left. He asked for some time alone so we left it, when we came to visit that’s what we found.”

“It seems the youngsters are doing a better job than we adults” Gaius said. 

 

“Ramesh likes youngsters he always has, he often looks after then when they first hit the streets.” Will said.

Ygraine took a deep breath “Look doctor I know you mean well, but do you not think that if we use Merlin’s proper name it might help him remember us”

“But he wants you to use Ramesh, I think you have to listen to him on this” Will said. 

Elyan spoke up “Mrs Pendragon if I might speak as the most impartial person here whilst I fully understand where you are coming from have you thought this through?”

“What do you mean?” Ygraine asked clearly puzzled

“If, as I believe, Merlin supressed his memories following the trauma he went through what are you going to do if he remembers? He won’t just remember who he is but what happened to him. I have examined him, his limb injures would have been incredibly painful to cope with. Clearly he wasn’t medically treated at the time. His limbs were most likely put back in a rough position and bound with a very makeshift splint. The bones were not held well, hence the deformities. I believe he was four at the time? He lost his parents, was in a plane crash and with injuries, when his memories do surface all that will. He will need help to cope. It won’t be pleasant for him” Elyan looked at Ygraine and Gaius in sympathy “Now might not be the best time. He has worn his parent’s photos since his adopted mother’s death, have you asked yourself why he hasn’t already remembered. Because he doesn’t want to, he couldn’t cope with it emotionally”

Ygraine paled as she listened “We didn’t think about that, we just wanted our boy back”

“And I’m sure you will, but now is not the time. Whatever Mordred has done let’s hope it will get him back to the UK. Then we can work on the rest with therapists” Elyan looked sympathetic but firm.

“You are right of course I will speak to the others” Ygraine said thoughtfully. “But if he isn’t to remember how do we get him home?”

“Explain the benefits of treatment and that he will be safe.” Will said “I will talk to him and so will Iseldir.”


	21. Chapter 21

Mordred woke a short time later and carefully extradited himself and got out of the bed. It was very hard as the mattress was thin and the bed old, not what he was used to, but far better than Merlin normal slept on. Merlin was still asleep, but very hot so Mordred went to the doctor’s room where he found the doctor’s and his aunty and Grandfather. 

“Hi, Merlin is very hot” he said sheepishly “I’m sorry I fell asleep in the bed but we had a cuddle and I dozed off” he knew he should have got on the bed, he had got in trouble when he went to visit one of his friends in hospital for just sitting on the bed and this time he got on it completely.

“I’ll check him” Will said standing up and going to the door.

“He said he would come back with us” Mordred told his Grandfather.

“How did you manage that?” Gaius asked and he put his arm round the small lad’s shoulders. 

“I told him how unhappy Gwaine had been and that we couldn’t lose him a second time” Mordred paused “Was I wrong?”

Ygraine smiled at Mordred who had surprised her. After the jealousy he had shown he was coping well. “No you weren’t wrong, you have done a wonderful thing. Come on I think Gwaine and your Uncle are back let’s tell them”

Will turned round at the door “We need to hear it from him first before we get carried away”

Mordred whirled around “I haven’t told fibs!”

“I know that Mordred but we have to be sure that Merlin hasn’t changed his mind.” Will went in to check Merlin. He found that Merlin’s temperature was up again so gave him some intravenous ibuprofen. As he was attaching the line Merlin woke up. He looked up at Will then looked round for Mordred. “He woke up and came to tell me you are hot. So you are going back, that’s good, you’ll get sorted out there” 

Merlin looked up at the doctor and speaking in Hindi said “They will hate me, in their hospital, I am scared, and how will I pay for my treatment.”

“They won’t hate you Ramesh, it’s not India. They won’t hate you just because you live on the streets.” Will paused “As for paying you won’t need to, they have a free health service, you were born in Britain after all, and anyway I expect your brother will cover all that. You need to go, you understand don’t you? But you can phone us sometimes or get someone to help you write a letter. We want to know how you are doing and I expect Iseldir will come to see you when he is in England”

“I can’t write or read” Merlin said “They will be ashamed of me”

“They will help you learn” Will ruffled Merlin’s hair. “You will have time, you won’t be working”

Merlin looked thoughtful “What will I do then, how will I make my way” he was worried he had always worked to feed himself.

“Ramesh boys your age don’t work in England, anyway your brother is an Earl I am sure he won’t expect you to work.” Will smiled reassuringly even if he did secretly worry how Merlin would cope with the changes.

With that Gwaine walked in “Merlin is it right? you will come back with us.”

Will spoke up first “Ramesh is worried that he won’t be working, or be able to pay for his care. Remember he has always looked after himself”

Gwaine grinned “You are a British citizen, I have your passport” he waved a piece of paper in the air, “Well a temporary one anyway. You won’t have to pay, anyway I will pay for everything. Don’t worry I have plenty of money. So do you. Our parents left you some. We will sort it out once we get back. You will come back won’t you, please” Gwaine looked down at his brother. “Please”

Merlin looked up at the brunette, he looked so happy that Merlin couldn’t change his mind, but that didn’t men he was happy, but he was tired and couldn’t fight anymore. So he gave a small nod and immediately had a hug from the very excited Gwaine, “You won’t regret it, I promise you.”

“Come back when better” Merlin said but Gwaine was so taken up with the news that the comment passed unnoticed. 

“I will ask the doctors to arrange the flight, we need to make sure you go to the best hospital” Gwaine’s mind was running through everything that he needed to do. He and Uther had discussed things at the embassy earlier, but now it was a reality. He was so excited he didn’t notice the look that crossed Merlin’s face until the boy shouted at him.

“I no fly!” Merlin was pale and shaking. “I no fly”

Gwaine looked at his brother with puzzlement before the penny dropped and he raised what was wrong. “Merlin you will be safe, I won’t let anything happen to you!” 

Hearing the raised voices Will and Elyan came in. Gwaine looked at them while he continued to comfort Merlin. “I said we would arrange the flight back, it scared Merlin. Do you think he remembers?” 

Will looked across at Merlin “Leave him with us Gwaine, I call you when we have settled him”

As soon as Gwaine was out of the way Will comforted Merlin while Elyan prepared a sedative. After calming him then talking quietly with the teenager they established that he didn’t remember anything of the accident but that his mama Amata had always said that the flying machines caused death and he was never to go in one. It had been something she had mentioned to him more than once and she had made him promise he would never go in one.

Elyan went to find Gwaine and located him talking to Arthur and Uther. “It will be a problem, he doesn’t remember the accident, but it seems his foster mother had told him he must never get in a fly, that planes kill people. I think the only way we can fly him back is if he is heavily sedated.” He paused “I don’t think that will be a problem. I will contact the Air ambulance service and talk to one of their Anaesthetists. Do I have your authority to arrange transfer? I will of course get a quote first.”

“Just arrange it I will pay whatever it costs, make it as soon as you can” Uther said immediately.

“I’ll pay he’s my brother” Gwaine spoke up.

“Gwaine let’s get him back, we will settle it then, but for now the money transfer will probably be easier for me.” Uther said reasonably.

Elyan went back to the office and spent some time talking to the company concerned. He called in the two men whilst he was still on the phone. “I can book now, they can collect Merlin in the morning and have him in Albion with me within 9 hours of leaving here. We have a bed for him. I have arranged a private room on the ward, but I wouldn’t recommend the private hospital, not for the work he needs. I will treat him privately if you wish but at the General Hospital.”

“Go for it, whatever you think is best” Gwaine told the doctor.

Elyan handed Uther the phone “I have told them you will be footing the bill, if you could talk to them.”

Elyan looked at Gwaine “One person can travel with him. I assume that will be you?”

“Yes it will” Gwaine wasn’t about to let anyone else go. 

“Then it might be as well for the rest to travel back today, if they can. I will be on the plane with you. As the plane they are sending can take two patients, there is room, and I know the Anaesthetist they are sending. I can then settle him in when we get to Albion. As Merlin is a child and will be on the paediatric ward he can have you at the hospital with him, or a family member. Visiting will be open of course.” Elyan put his hand on Gwaine’s shoulder “The fun will start now, you do realise if the press get hold of this they will be very interested.”

Gwaine clearly hadn’t thought of that “How could they find out?”

“Who knows how they find anything out? We’ll face that when it happens, let’s just get him home for you” Elyan grinned, he was relieved it was all happening, he would have had to return to the UK the next day anyway, he had already been away long than he would have liked. But at the same time he was excited at the prospect of sorting Merlin’s deformed limbs out. 

Uther came out and told Elyan the flight was now going ahead as he had authorised the money. He turned to Gwaine “I suspect we can claim it back from the airline, after all that has happened. If not we will sort something out between us. It’s not cheap.”

“I don’t care” Gwaine protested “Whatever it is its worth it”

“I agree my boy, now to see about getting the rest of us home. Do you think Arthur will come back early?” Uther asked.

“I’ll go and find him and ask, I’ll let you tell the others. I will be flying back with Merlin, but you will all need flights” Gwaine said “Elyan is also going back on the plane with us”

Gwaine went off to find Arthur who was with Leon and Lance. They were pleased to hear Merlin had agreed to go back. Arthur immediately said he would go and speak to Iseldir “I want to go back now as well, sorry you two, but Merlin means a lot to me and I want to be there for him”

Gwaine was please Arthur was coming back, he looked on the blonde as a brother and knew he would need support if he was to help Merlin with the trials ahead. He wasn’t a fool, not matter what people thought of him, he knew there would be many obstacles to overcome.

Lance and Leon agreed that Arthur needed to go back, after all if it hadn’t been for him Merlin would never have been reunited with his family. “We only have four months left anyway” Lance pointed out. “I’m sure Iseldir won’t have a problem”

The two men had been astonished by all that had happened and whilst pleased for Gwaine and Merlin, they hoped that things would settle down once the others had gone. They both wanted to make the best of their gap year. The time had convinced Leon he wanted to teach, and Lance was more set than ever on becoming a doctor. 

Arthur went back with Gwaine to wait for Iseldir to come back from his trip around his patch. He found out his father had already booked his flight back. “Easier to cancel it if not needed than try to add an extra one later” he explained. He had managed to get the five tickets they needed on a flight that evening. “We will be back home about 11pm English time. So we should be able to get sleep in before Gwaine and Merlin arrive.” The four and a half hours difference worked in their favour on the flights back. 

When Iseldir arrived back Arthur explained what had happened adding “I’m sorry to leave early but I want to be there to support Merlin and Gwaine” he explained.

“Don’t worry son, you aren’t the first to leave early but at least you have a good reason. I am glad Ramesh is going with you, but you will need patience with him. Has he allowed you to call him Merlin yet?” Iseldir was pleased Merlin was going but at the same time torn. Over the years he had come too really like the young lad and would miss him more than he wanted to admit. But better he return to England than die in India.

“Well he doesn’t seem to complain if we do, and he does recognise Merlin as being his name.” Arthur admitted “When you return to England please visit him, and us. I will help him phone you once he has settled down a bit” 

“Thank you, also call if he has trouble understanding anything.” Iseldir looked at Arthur “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to sit with Ramesh for a while”

There was a frantic few hours as everyone packed and made sure they had everything they needed. Arthur took the medical notes to be photocopied to help out Will, leaving Will and Elyan time to change the outer dressings on Merlin’s leg, and make sure they had everything ready for the morning. The he had a long chat with Iseldir and Will thanking them for his time with them and being so understanding. Arthur would miss the place but knew there was no way he could stay for the next for months.

Merlin was asleep when everyone was ready to leave, they all quietly went in to see him before leaving. To everyone’s surprise Mordred gave his sleeping brother a kiss before leaving. He seemed to have taken to him far better than they expected. Morgana hadn’t seen much of Merlin, but she hoped to rectify that once he was back in Albion. Instead she had supported everyone else and also learnt as much as she could in areas that she thought would help her support Merlin as he settled in. Morgana had also kept an eye on Gaius who wasn’t as strong as he liked to think he was. The whole thing had been a shock to him and the journey and stress hadn’t helped him. Now they had the return journey to cope with.

After they had left Gwaine went to see Iseldir and Will and thanked them for all they had done for Merlin over the years. The then gave them a cheque for ten thousand pounds. “This is just a start, I intend to make a regular payment for all you do here. I hadn’t realised just what is needed until I saw it for myself. I take my place in the House of Lords soon. I hadn’t planned on doing much before, but I will campaign for pressure to be put on the Indian Government to fund the care of these children. I will make my title count for something.” He paused as he felt the tears begin to form behind his eyes. “I can never thank you enough for looking after him when I couldn’t”

Iseldir took the cheque “I would say no, but we need the money it will help us provide more shelter when the bad weather comes As well as help the school. Look after him for us”

“I will, you have no idea how much this means to me, to have him back. I will spend the rest of my life making sure he and Mordred have all they need. We are a family and I intend to look after them always” Gwaine fought back the tears “I will keep in touch, and get Merlin to as well”

Iseldir looked at Gwaine and then gave him a hug before saying “Go and get some rest, I know you are using Arthur’s old room. You have a busy time ahead. I will wake you in the morning.”


	22. Chapter 22

Mordred woke a short time later and carefully extradited himself and got out of the bed. It was very hard as the mattress was thin and the bed old, not what he was used to, but far better than Merlin normal slept on. Merlin was still asleep, but very hot so Mordred went to the doctor’s room where he found the doctor’s and his aunty and Grandfather. 

“Hi, Merlin is very hot” he said sheepishly “I’m sorry I fell asleep in the bed but we had a cuddle and I dozed off” he knew he should have got on the bed, he had got in trouble when he went to visit one of his friends in hospital for just sitting on the bed and this time he got on it completely.

“I’ll check him” Will said standing up and going to the door.

“He said he would come back with us” Mordred told his Grandfather.

“How did you manage that?” Gaius asked and he put his arm round the small lad’s shoulders. 

“I told him how unhappy Gwaine had been and that we couldn’t lose him a second time” Mordred paused “Was I wrong?”

Ygraine smiled at Mordred who had surprised her. After the jealousy he had shown he was coping well. “No you weren’t wrong, you have done a wonderful thing. Come on I think Gwaine and your Uncle are back let’s tell them”

Will turned round at the door “We need to hear it from him first before we get carried away”

Mordred whirled around “I haven’t told fibs!”

“I know that Mordred but we have to be sure that Merlin hasn’t changed his mind.” Will went in to check Merlin. He found that Merlin’s temperature was up again so gave him some intravenous ibuprofen. As he was attaching the line Merlin woke up. He looked up at Will then looked round for Mordred. “He woke up and came to tell me you are hot. So you are going back, that’s good, you’ll get sorted out there” 

Merlin looked up at the doctor and speaking in Hindi said “They will hate me, in their hospital, I am scared, and how will I pay for my treatment.”

“They won’t hate you Ramesh, it’s not India. They won’t hate you just because you live on the streets.” Will paused “As for paying you won’t need to, they have a free health service, you were born in Britain after all, and anyway I expect your brother will cover all that. You need to go, you understand don’t you? But you can phone us sometimes or get someone to help you write a letter. We want to know how you are doing and I expect Iseldir will come to see you when he is in England”

“I can’t write or read” Merlin said “They will be ashamed of me”

“They will help you learn” Will ruffled Merlin’s hair. “You will have time, you won’t be working”

Merlin looked thoughtful “What will I do then, how will I make my way” he was worried he had always worked to feed himself.

“Ramesh boys your age don’t work in England, anyway your brother is an Earl I am sure he won’t expect you to work.” Will smiled reassuringly even if he did secretly worry how Merlin would cope with the changes.

With that Gwaine walked in “Merlin is it right? you will come back with us.”

Will spoke up first “Ramesh is worried that he won’t be working, or be able to pay for his care. Remember he has always looked after himself”

Gwaine grinned “You are a British citizen, I have your passport” he waved a piece of paper in the air, “Well a temporary one anyway. You won’t have to pay, anyway I will pay for everything. Don’t worry I have plenty of money. So do you. Our parents left you some. We will sort it out once we get back. You will come back won’t you, please” Gwaine looked down at his brother. “Please”

Merlin looked up at the brunette, he looked so happy that Merlin couldn’t change his mind, but that didn’t men he was happy, but he was tired and couldn’t fight anymore. So he gave a small nod and immediately had a hug from the very excited Gwaine, “You won’t regret it, I promise you.”

“Come back when better” Merlin said but Gwaine was so taken up with the news that the comment passed unnoticed. 

“I will ask the doctors to arrange the flight, we need to make sure you go to the best hospital” Gwaine’s mind was running through everything that he needed to do. He and Uther had discussed things at the embassy earlier, but now it was a reality. He was so excited he didn’t notice the look that crossed Merlin’s face until the boy shouted at him.

“I no fly!” Merlin was pale and shaking. “I no fly”

Gwaine looked at his brother with puzzlement before the penny dropped and he raised what was wrong. “Merlin you will be safe, I won’t let anything happen to you!” 

Hearing the raised voices Will and Elyan came in. Gwaine looked at them while he continued to comfort Merlin. “I said we would arrange the flight back, it scared Merlin. Do you think he remembers?” 

Will looked across at Merlin “Leave him with us Gwaine, I call you when we have settled him”

As soon as Gwaine was out of the way Will comforted Merlin while Elyan prepared a sedative. After calming him then talking quietly with the teenager they established that he didn’t remember anything of the accident but that his mama Amata had always said that the flying machines caused death and he was never to go in one. It had been something she had mentioned to him more than once and she had made him promise he would never go in one.

Elyan went to find Gwaine and located him talking to Arthur and Uther. “It will be a problem, he doesn’t remember the accident, but it seems his foster mother had told him he must never get in a fly, that planes kill people. I think the only way we can fly him back is if he is heavily sedated.” He paused “I don’t think that will be a problem. I will contact the Air ambulance service and talk to one of their Anaesthetists. Do I have your authority to arrange transfer? I will of course get a quote first.”

“Just arrange it I will pay whatever it costs, make it as soon as you can” Uther said immediately.

“I’ll pay he’s my brother” Gwaine spoke up.

“Gwaine let’s get him back, we will settle it then, but for now the money transfer will probably be easier for me.” Uther said reasonably.

Elyan went back to the office and spent some time talking to the company concerned. He called in the two men whilst he was still on the phone. “I can book now, they can collect Merlin in the morning and have him in Albion with me within 9 hours of leaving here. We have a bed for him. I have arranged a private room on the ward, but I wouldn’t recommend the private hospital, not for the work he needs. I will treat him privately if you wish but at the General Hospital.”

“Go for it, whatever you think is best” Gwaine told the doctor.

Elyan handed Uther the phone “I have told them you will be footing the bill, if you could talk to them.”

Elyan looked at Gwaine “One person can travel with him. I assume that will be you?”

“Yes it will” Gwaine wasn’t about to let anyone else go. 

“Then it might be as well for the rest to travel back today, if they can. I will be on the plane with you. As the plane they are sending can take two patients, there is room, and I know the Anaesthetist they are sending. I can then settle him in when we get to Albion. As Merlin is a child and will be on the paediatric ward he can have you at the hospital with him, or a family member. Visiting will be open of course.” Elyan put his hand on Gwaine’s shoulder “The fun will start now, you do realise if the press get hold of this they will be very interested.”

Gwaine clearly hadn’t thought of that “How could they find out?”

“Who knows how they find anything out? We’ll face that when it happens, let’s just get him home for you” Elyan grinned, he was relieved it was all happening, he would have had to return to the UK the next day anyway, he had already been away long than he would have liked. But at the same time he was excited at the prospect of sorting Merlin’s deformed limbs out. 

Uther came out and told Elyan the flight was now going ahead as he had authorised the money. He turned to Gwaine “I suspect we can claim it back from the airline, after all that has happened. If not we will sort something out between us. It’s not cheap.”

“I don’t care” Gwaine protested “Whatever it is its worth it”

“I agree my boy, now to see about getting the rest of us home. Do you think Arthur will come back early?” Uther asked.

“I’ll go and find him and ask, I’ll let you tell the others. I will be flying back with Merlin, but you will all need flights” Gwaine said “Elyan is also going back on the plane with us”

Gwaine went off to find Arthur who was with Leon and Lance. They were pleased to hear Merlin had agreed to go back. Arthur immediately said he would go and speak to Iseldir “I want to go back now as well, sorry you two, but Merlin means a lot to me and I want to be there for him”

Gwaine was please Arthur was coming back, he looked on the blonde as a brother and knew he would need support if he was to help Merlin with the trials ahead. He wasn’t a fool, not matter what people thought of him, he knew there would be many obstacles to overcome.

Lance and Leon agreed that Arthur needed to go back, after all if it hadn’t been for him Merlin would never have been reunited with his family. “We only have four months left anyway” Lance pointed out. “I’m sure Iseldir won’t have a problem”

The two men had been astonished by all that had happened and whilst pleased for Gwaine and Merlin, they hoped that things would settle down once the others had gone. They both wanted to make the best of their gap year. The time had convinced Leon he wanted to teach, and Lance was more set than ever on becoming a doctor. 

Arthur went back with Gwaine to wait for Iseldir to come back from his trip around his patch. He found out his father had already booked his flight back. “Easier to cancel it if not needed than try to add an extra one later” he explained. He had managed to get the five tickets they needed on a flight that evening. “We will be back home about 11pm English time. So we should be able to get sleep in before Gwaine and Merlin arrive.” The four and a half hours difference worked in their favour on the flights back. 

When Iseldir arrived back Arthur explained what had happened adding “I’m sorry to leave early but I want to be there to support Merlin and Gwaine” he explained.

“Don’t worry son, you aren’t the first to leave early but at least you have a good reason. I am glad Ramesh is going with you, but you will need patience with him. Has he allowed you to call him Merlin yet?” Iseldir was pleased Merlin was going but at the same time torn. Over the years he had come too really like the young lad and would miss him more than he wanted to admit. But better he return to England than die in India.

“Well he doesn’t seem to complain if we do, and he does recognise Merlin as being his name.” Arthur admitted “When you return to England please visit him, and us. I will help him phone you once he has settled down a bit” 

“Thank you, also call if he has trouble understanding anything.” Iseldir looked at Arthur “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to sit with Ramesh for a while”

There was a frantic few hours as everyone packed and made sure they had everything they needed. Arthur took the medical notes to be photocopied to help out Will, leaving Will and Elyan time to change the outer dressings on Merlin’s leg, and make sure they had everything ready for the morning. The he had a long chat with Iseldir and Will thanking them for his time with them and being so understanding. Arthur would miss the place but knew there was no way he could stay for the next for months.

Merlin was asleep when everyone was ready to leave, they all quietly went in to see him before leaving. To everyone’s surprise Mordred gave his sleeping brother a kiss before leaving. He seemed to have taken to him far better than they expected. Morgana hadn’t seen much of Merlin, but she hoped to rectify that once he was back in Albion. Instead she had supported everyone else and also learnt as much as she could in areas that she thought would help her support Merlin as he settled in. Morgana had also kept an eye on Gaius who wasn’t as strong as he liked to think he was. The whole thing had been a shock to him and the journey and stress hadn’t helped him. Now they had the return journey to cope with.

After they had left Gwaine went to see Iseldir and Will and thanked them for all they had done for Merlin over the years. The then gave them a cheque for ten thousand pounds. “This is just a start, I intend to make a regular payment for all you do here. I hadn’t realised just what is needed until I saw it for myself. I take my place in the House of Lords soon. I hadn’t planned on doing much before, but I will campaign for pressure to be put on the Indian Government to fund the care of these children. I will make my title count for something.” He paused as he felt the tears begin to form behind his eyes. “I can never thank you enough for looking after him when I couldn’t”

Iseldir took the cheque “I would say no, but we need the money it will help us provide more shelter when the bad weather comes As well as help the school. Look after him for us”

“I will, you have no idea how much this means to me, to have him back. I will spend the rest of my life making sure he and Mordred have all they need. We are a family and I intend to look after them always” Gwaine fought back the tears “I will keep in touch, and get Merlin to as well”

Iseldir looked at Gwaine and then gave him a hug before saying “Go and get some rest, I know you are using Arthur’s old room. You have a busy time ahead. I will wake you in the morning.”


	23. Chapter 23

In the morning at about six Will and Elyan gave Merlin his breakfast and then made sure he had a wash and was dressed in the clothes Ygraine had got him. It was shirt and shorts. Practical but clean and the first things Merlin had ever owned, he was very nervous and clutched his dragon all the time. The doctors also made sure he had had his antibiotics and that his dressing had no sign of strike through of any exudate. By the time they had finished Gwaine arrived, he had had a poor night’s sleep and had only fallen asleep in the early hours. He had also had something to eat, and dressed to travel in comfort.

Merlin was getting tired once more, the infection was making him weak and he had no stamina at all. But before he did fall asleep Iseldir took some photos of Merlin and a couple of Merlin with Gwaine. Merlin said goodbye to Iseldir and Will and they both promised to visit him when they can to England. Merlin told them he would be back “I am only going to get better, then I will return home”

Gwaine winced but said nothing, he hoped that Merlin would agree to stay in the UK once he was settled. He wasn’t sure what would happen if Merlin insisted on returning. Half an hour before the ambulance arrived to collect Merlin to take him to the airport Will administered a sedative. Gwaine held him until he fell asleep. Iseldir had one more piece of advice to give Gwaine before they left.   
“Remember to be patient with Ramesh, he won’t know your ways or how to behave in polite society. Try not to force him to do anything he can be very stubborn. Also never promise him anything you can’t do. If you have problems ask Arthur, he has been here long enough to know Ramesh’s normal ways and is good at talking him round. And we are on the end of the phone. I wish you both all the luck in the world. You will need it. You will find Ramesh is a loyal friend who will do a lot to please. Use that to help him settle.”

Gwaine nodded he was under no illusion that the hard work started now. Then Will put his bit in

“Iseldir is right, work with Merlin not against him. Don’t force too many changes on him at once. And remember he only speaks ‘bastard English” and not Queen’s English and he can’t read or write but that doesn’t make him stupid. In his own way he is wiser than us, he’s had to be. He’s adult in many ways but also younger than his years.”

“I know, and I will look after him I promise you. I expect problems along the way but we will work through them.” Gwaine paused before continuing “I really can’t thank you enough for all you have done for him. Without you I’m sure he would be dead by now, you have given me my brother back.”

The ambulance arrived with the anaesthetist and the paediatric Nurse who would look after Merlin on the journey back. They introduced themselves and then checked Merlin and all the paper work they needed. Then they were ready to go. Gwaine picked Merlin up and placed his on the stretcher. The young boy was sleeping the sedative having done its job. Hopefully he wouldn’t realise he was in a plane at all. The ambulance men strapped Merlin in and after making sure they had everything and saying their last goodbyes Merlin was put in the back of the ambulance with Gwaine and the medical staff and they set off for the airport.

It didn’t seem long before they were in the air. Before they got in the plane Gwaine texted Arthur to say they were on their way. Arthur was about to go to bed, he had waited up for the call having caught some sleep on the plane back. There wasn’t a huge amount of room in the plane as the area for Merlin took up most of the area. Either the anaesthetist, nurse or Elyan would be at Merlin’s side throughout the flight. Gwaine sat near when he was allowed but made sure to keep out of the way. The plan was to keep Merlin sedated so he didn’t get stressed by the flight and they were successful. On the odd occasion he was awake they kept the windows covered and Merlin was none the wiser. They had passed a feeding tube before leaving India so he wouldn’t have to eat. It was hoped to continue with the feeds if Merlin tolerated the tube so they could build him up for surgery. It took them seven and a half hours to arrive at Heathrow and they were met by an ambulance to take them to Albion Hospital. Gwaine had snatched as much sleep as he could wanting to be fresh to help Merlin settle. He knew the younger Boy would hate being in hospital. In the first instance Merlin ward to have a single room but Elyan did say that Merlin might benefit from being on the ward with company, but they would play it by ear. The transfer had gone well and no hitches were encountered. Once they were in the ambulance the sedation allowed to start to wear off, so that Merlin would have a better recollection of the last part of his journey and arrival.

All in all Gwaine had been impressed by the care Merlin had received on the journey. He hadn’t expected anything less as the cost was, as his uncle had said, very high. It cost over thirty thousand pounds but to Gwaine’s mind worth every penny. He was just thankful they were in a position to afford it, and not have to wait for the original plane company to decide if they would pay.

As they arrived at the hospital they were taken straight to the room that would be Merlin’s home for the foreseeable future. After talking to Will and Iseldir Elyan had asked especially for the room. It had views across open countryside with a row of hills in the background. Perhaps not the mountains that Merlin had always wanted to return to but the nearest they could manage. As with all the Paediatric single rooms it had a small side room where Gwaine, or another adult could stay. The room was light and airy and decorated in a suitable style for an English teenager. Merlin was wheeled in on the trolley and the ambulance crew transferred Merlin onto the bed. 

Gwaine sat by his brother’s side as Merlin opened his eyes properly for the first time since leaving India. The sedation combined with his general health had kept him asleep for longer than anticipated. Elyan made sure Merlin was alright and then said:

“I’ll leave you with him so he can wake up properly in peace. The sedation has worn of safely. Ring if you need anything and a nurse will be along shortly”

As Elyan left Merlin looked around his room and then up at Gwaine.

“We have arrived in England Merlin, see what a nice view you have” Gwaine smiled and held onto Merlin’s hand.

Merlin looked out of the window once more then back at Gwaine he looked totally puzzled and confused. Then he put his hand out to search for his dragon. It was on the table at his side. Gwaine stood up and gave Killi to him.

Very quietly Gwaine explained “We are in England, you slept nearly all the way here. This is the hospital and your room. There is a small room over there so one of us can stay with you if you like”

Merlin spoke but in Hindi and Gwaine had no idea what he had said “Merlin you have to speak English or I can’t understand you”

“No like hospital no stay.” He muttered 

“Remember I told you it’s not like India they will like you here. They will make you better. Try to relax Merlin”

“ ‘m Ramesh” Merlin glared at his brother “not Merlin!”

“I’m sorry Ramesh, but it’s hard for me to, you will always be Merlin to me, but I will try to remember” Gwaine wished Merlin would accept his name, but Will had said he thought Merlin would want to use his Indian name to help him make sense of his new world.

With that a nurse entered the room with a jug of water and a tray of food. “Hello Earl Essetir and Merlin, my name is Freya and I am your nurse today. I have brought you both something to eat. I don’t suppose it is what you are used to Merlin but hopefully you will like it.”

Merlin turned his head away and looked out the window. After the conversation they had just had Gwaine guessed what was wrong. “Could you please call Merlin Ramesh it’s the name he has been used to, and call me Gwaine please.” He smiled at the nurse who blushed and went to Merlin’s side.

“I am so sorry Ramesh I didn’t mean to upset you. Would you like something to eat.” She placed the tray on the table at Merlin’s side and smiled in a friendly manner hoping to put the teenager at ease. “This must all be so strange to you”.

“He’s only just woken up after a long flight, also you will need to give him time English is not his first language” Gwaine explained.

 

“Then you’re cleverer than me Ramesh I can only speak English, now what would you like to eat? I have sandwiches or soup or fish and chips.”

Gwaine grinned “That will all be strange for him except perhaps the soup. Can you leave it all so he can try and see what he likes?”

Freya smiled “Of course, would you like a cup of tea?”

“Please I could kill for one” Gwaine grinned “Again I suspect Ramesh will have one.”

As Freya left Gwaine uncovered the plate with the fish and chips also opened up a packet of the sandwiches. When Freya came in with the tea he asked “Can I have an extra cup my brother might find the soup easier in a cup. It can’t be easy eating in bed.”

Freya brought one straight back “I will leave you to eat, just ring if you need anything. I will need to know what Ramesh eats and drinks for his food chart, but eat what you want of what’s there.”

After she had left Merlin looked at the food and sniffed it. He drank the soup then Gwaine gave him a chip “Try that” he said with a grin.

Merlin took the chip and after blowing on it bit a piece off. Merlin had had pototo before but cooked with spice and other vegetables he wasn’t sure of the taste. Smelling the fish he picked it up and ate it with more of the chips. Gwaine ate some sandwiches. The asked his brother “Did you like it?”

Merlin shrugged “it was food, not spicy”

“I’ll see what we can do for you. Maybe buy something in” he said thoughtfully trying to remember what Merlin had eaten in Mumbai. 

Merlin looked at Gwaine “Eat anything, eat from dump if find” he shrugged.

Gwaine had been told that but the thought made him feel ill. “Never again Mer..Ramesh. If you like anything special just ask and you can have it.” He handed Merlin am apple from the tray. “Keep this for later. We don’t want to waste it” he grinned.

Merlin frowned “They throw away?”

“Yes I expect so, it’s been on you tray.” Gwaine shrugged.

“Then street children will have food” Merlin said “I leave it for them”

Gwaine frowned “Ramesh you are not in India. There are homeless people here but not like India, they are adults and can get help. They would not eat food from a dump like you had to. The food is for you, please eat as much as you can.”

Merlin shook his head and although he took the apple he wouldn’t keep anything else. Gwaine wondered how he could show Merlin the differences in the countries. Then he spotted the television, he would get a paper later and see if he could find suitable programmes to help Merlin understand the culture he was in. Merlin was now full and became sleepy once more. Facing the window he fell asleep again. 

Elyan came back and explained to Gwaine what was going to happen. Merlin would be taken to theatre in the morning to have his wound looked at. He would also have x rays and a cat scan. Elyan had taken blood samples from Merlin just before they landed and these where being checked as were the swabs they had taken to check for any bacteria. 

“Today we take it easy. But once we have everything we need we will start work. We have had a case conference and Merlin will be assigned a specialist teacher to help him assimilate to this culture and help him. With your permission I believe I know just the person. My sister is free at the moment and has excellent communication skills. I have asked her to come to speak to you. You can of course find you own if you wish. She has worked with several individuals in the past on a one to one basis. Normally following head injury where memories are lost, but essentially teaching young adults to relearn skills needed to cope in today’s sociality.” Elyan paused “I wouldn’t suggest her but she is very good, it was my college that suggested her.”

“That sounds a good idea, I was just trying to work out how to explain things to Merlin, as he wanted to leave his food for the homeless children” Gwaine said.

“I’ll get her to pop along when she is free. Also the specialist physiotherapist will come in and meet Merlin. He will be working closely with him for a long time. He’s a big fellow but very gentle and the teenagers love him. He does occupational therapy with them as well. Both are freelance but work with me a lot. I have chosen them as I feel Merlin will benefit from having the same person for a long period.”

Gwaine nodded “I realise that Merlin is fully entitled to N.H.S. treatment but I am willing to pay privately if it means we can get the best people whenever Merlin needs them. I am certainly wealthy enough and don’t want to drain your resources.” 

“That’s what I understood from Mr Pendragon, both my sister and the physio are willing to take on private work. In fact my sister has just finished a contract working with a family and gaining a successful outcome, so is more than willing to help you and you brother. She is a trained teacher and has done extensive child psychology courses specialising in such cases. Percy is a very skilled physiotherapist and I would give my eye teeth to have him working with me all the time. He works a lot with youngsters who have been involved in live changing injuries, helping them to get the best out of their treatments.” 

There was a knock on the door and Mordred, Arthur and Gaius entered. Elyan stood up “I’ll leave you to it. Call if you need anything. The nurses and doctors will leave Merlin alone as much as possible today. Now your visitors are here I would appreciate it if you could spare my registrar sometime to go over the paperwork. I need to catch up on my other patients”

“Sure whenever he likes now the others are here” Gwaine agreed.

After Elyan had gone Arthur spoke “We decided it might be best to come in small groups.” Arthur explained. “We got first dibs”

Mordred and Gaius went to Merlin’s side. While Arthur spoke to Gwaine “How was the flight?”

“Good, he slept most of the way, he’s still tired now. They are going to leave him alone mostly today but he goes to theatre tomorrow” Gwaine went on to explain what the consultant had told him. Then added “I’m just pleased that I have the money to get everything done.”

Arthur grinned “You see I always told you one day you would be glad to have that title and wealth” his words reminded Gwaine of when he hated his title and responsibilities wishing he was an ordinary person, from an ordinary background.

Merlin slept through the talking, his body needing the rest. Gaius and Mordred sat together supporting one another. They had always been close and it would play a pivotal part in the reintegration of their family.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for delay in posting, life has been difficult but thank you for staying with me and I will try and get back to more regular pasting

Merlin remained sleepy for the rest of the day. As promised the family were left with him only coming in to do what care was needed. Gwaine slipped out to see the registrar who introduced himself as Pellinore, Gwaine told him what he knew. “Sorry I can’t tell you more but Merlin was only discovered recently we had thought him dead”

“So you say he was living on the streets and working on the dumps” The doctor was appalled about what he was hearing. 

“Yes, essentially he has care for himself since 8 years old, and before that he and his ‘foster’ mother lived in the slums. From what we can gather she had mental health problems and Merlin looked after her as much as she looked after him.” Gwaine told the man. “His old injuries are believed to come from the plane crash but he has no memories to support or refute that”

“We will take into account all you have told us. A detailed care plan will be put in place and we will respect his wishes to be called Ramesh until he says otherwise. Mr Smith had already contacted several agencies about help. The poor lad will find it hard to adjust to his new life” Pellinore paused Elyan has already told you that he intends to take Ramesh to theatre tomorrow. So I will go through the consent process and if you could sign the form, then we will be ready in the morning. The plan is to inspect the wound and clean it if required. We will apply a vacuum assisted dressing to speed healing. This is effectively a sponge on the wound that is attached to a machine which applies a negative pressure and speeds healing, also heling to lower the infection. The dressing will be changed in theatre every three days.”

Gwaine asked a few questions and after the risks were explained he signed the form. He had already applied for guardianship of his brother and had been informed there would be no objections. Then asked “What will happen about his limbs?”

“We will have CAT scans done tomorrow before he goes to theatre, Mr Smith will then look at them and make plans, but as this involves bone his other wound must be fully healed before any repairs are carried out. He will talk to you once he had looked at the scans. You do realise it will be a long job?” the man asked kindly. “His bones aren’t the only problem all the structures in his legs have been stretched and twisted so he will need long term physiotherapy.”

“The Consultant mentioned a physio he was going to use…Percy I think he said his name was” Gwaine admitted. 

“He’s the best I hope you get him. He is great with teenagers” Pellinore smiled

“He also mentioned his sister becoming involved” Gwaine said more as a question than anything else.

Pellinore gave a huge grin “If you get her then you will be very lucky, don’t think Elyan suggested her because of their relationship, she’s very highly sort after, they are a clever family” 

That relieved Gwaine who had been worried about the woman’s competency, but found it difficult to go against the Consultant. He would make up his mind once he had met her.

Gwaine went back to see his brother and found him awake and talking to the others. Arthur looked up as Gwaine walked in “Hi Gwaine, I was just saying to Ramesh that if you want I will stay the night, if you like so you can go home and collect some clothes and stuff, you must be knackered and it’s a big day tomorrow”

Gwaine was reluctant, and annoyed that Arthur was making decisions for him, but he looked at Merlin who was smiling. Perhaps it might be for the best, give them both time and Merlin had known Arthur longer than him. Also he had to admit he was beginning to feel a bit cooped up and needed to contact the lawyers about sorting out Merlin’s inheritance. Merlin’s share of their parent’s legacy had been shared between him and Mordred. Gwaine had already had the lions share as the estate was handed down to him as the eldest son. Gwaine wanted to know what Merlin’s share would now be worth with the accrued interest and he hoped to be able to give it to him without touching Mordred’s money.

So Gwaine left when Mordred and Gaius did, driving them both home before going to the lawyers. One good thing about his title was the way it got him appointments at short notice. Gwaine had known John Rodor for all of his life although until recently Uther had dealt with Gwaine’s affairs.   
“Lord Essetir a pleasure as always” the elderly lawyer greeted Gwaine “Please take a seat I will ask my secretary to get us tea. Now what can I do for you Sir”

“Please John call me Gwaine. You have heard about the finding of my brother Merlin?”

“Indeed splendid news”

“I need to sort out his inheritance, as you know my parents will left a sizable inheritance to Merlin but as he had been declared dead it was divided between myself and Mordred, now we need to rectify the matter” Gwaine told his lawyer.

John Rodor frowned “Indeed, have you spoken to Mordred about this?”

“No not yet, I needed to find out the position first. We could gift it to Merlin but that would then involve gift tax would it not?” Gwaine had thought around the issue on the flight back.  
“I will look into this for you, but I’m am not sure you can force your youngest brother into parting with the money if he should not wish it. It was after all legally bequeathed him.”

“I’m sure he won’t care but if he does then Merlin will have the full amount from my estate.” Gwaine paused “I would like to sort it out with a degree of speed. I know how these things can drag on”

“I will get onto the matter immediately, you might also wish to discuss it with Mr Pendragon as he is still Mordred’s guardian. I understand from the paperwork that has come through you have applied to gain Merlin’s guardianship yourself. Whilst I applaud your intent it might have been better to have had Mr Pendragon his guardian, due to your youth” the lawyer looked over his glasses at Gwaine waiting for the reaction.

“No, I will be his guardian, I have thought of asking for Mordred’s as well. I am of age now and they are my blood” Gwaine retorted.

“As you will Sir but I do suggest it would be better to leave Mordred’s guardianship as it is and concentrate on Merlin for now. Either way I will of course represent you to the best of my ability”

“I would also like you to complete all the work to get Merlin’s death certificate revoked and any residue paperwork done as needed. You can get me on my mobile as I will be spending most of the time supporting Merlin in hospital.” Gwaine finished his tea. “I must go, I need to get back.”

Gwaine went back to Uther’s and spoke to his guardians and told them what he had done and also how the fight back had gone. “I’m going to crash now. I want to get back to the hospital by eight in the morning. Arthur is staying the night with him. I think Merlin missed him” 

Uther looked at the Earl “Your parents would be proud of you Gwaine. You are coping with all this very well”

“Thanks, I’m not sure how true that is though” Gwaine said honestly.

“It is true Gwaine” Ygraine added “It’s not been easy I know that, but it will be worth it in the long run. I’m glad you’re not jealous of Arthur relationship with Merlin”

“That I will never be, if it wasn’t for Arthur we wouldn’t have Merlin back. Anyway Arthur is like a brother to me” Gwaine smiled “I need a break from hospitals anyway.” He admitted

“I’m glad you recognised that, I was worried you would become obsessive and that won’t do any of you any good” Uther smiled “Don’t spend all your time at the hospital there are enough of us to share the time, we all want to get to know him. Morgana especially she has hardly seen him yet.”

“She can come to see him tomorrow afternoon if she wants, he will be in theatre in the morning and I have been told he should be awake enough for visitors by two.”

 

Back in the hospital Merlin was asleep one again so Arthur investigated the small side room and his bed for the night. After living in Mumbai for nine months he was happy with the bed, it was softer than the one he had been used to. Unpacking his shoulder bag he went and sat next to Merlin and read his book. Once Merlin woke up they had tea, which Merlin wasn’t sure about but as yet he hadn’t quite grasped that there was food whenever he wanted it.

After they had eaten Arthur started to try to explain what live was like in Brittan. He had brought photos of their house as the plan was for Merlin to move in while Gwaine went to university. Although Gwaine was reconsidering whether to go. Merlin wasn’t happy about the feed tube in his nose or the fact that he had a catheter. These had been put in for the plane journey and not removed, but now he was awake he was complaining.

“Don’t like” he told Arthur sulkily “Can piss in bottle”

“I’ll ask the doctors for you, maybe they can come out, but I think the one in your nose will stay, they want to feed you while you are asleep to you get better quickly” Arthur explained

Bur it seemed Merlin also had another gripe “Bed not hard, I sleep on floor”

“No Merlin you sleep on the bed, isn’t it nice having a soft bed?” Arthur knew that in the clinic the mattress on Merlin’s bed had been very thin. Will had found that the street children settled better, also good mattresses where hard to come by.

Merlin pouted and shook his head “to soft” he moaned.

“If you think this one is soft what till you get home” Arthur explained “I’m sure you will get used to it quickly.”

But Merlin wouldn’t settle. When the nurse came in to settle Merlin for the night and give him his medication Arthur asked about Merlin’s catheter “Ramesh is finding the catheter uncomfortable, he is good at using a bottle can it be removed?”

The nurse smiled “I will ask the doctors I see no reason why not, as long as we measure what he passes.”

Merlin gave her a shy smile and pulled at the naso gastric tube in his nose “This?” he asked

“Oh no young man you need that! We won’t be feeding you with it tonight because you have theatre tomorrow but you need it, so please don’t pull it” she explained.

Merlin clearly wasn’t happy and started to speak in Hindi “Ramesh you need to speak in English” Arthur explained.

Merlin glared at him and then at the nurse “Sleep on floor!” he demanded.

Freya looked scandalised “No Ramesh, the floor is dirty you have to keep clean, why do you want to sleep on the floor?”

Merlin looked at her as if she was an idiot which made Arthur laugh “I’m sorry” he explained “Ramesh is used to sleeping on a pavement with just a piece of cardboard between him and the ground, he finds the bed to soft”

“Oh poor thing, no Ramesh Please you need to sleep on the bed” she smiled at Merlin who scowled back. Then he started to get out of bed. Arthur jumped up 

“No you don’t Ramesh, you stay in bed.”

“Floor clean” Merlin said grabbing his blanket. Then he started to talk in Hindi again, it was clear he was getting frustrated. 

Freya thought of something “Our house officer is from India, perhaps he could explain better, shall I ask him? I can ask about the catheter at the same time. Perhaps if we can compromise on one thing he will be happier.”

Arthur rolled his eyes “That might be good, it must be hard for him to cope with so much at once.” Arthur thought that perhaps if Merlin could speak to someone in his own language he would be happier. He might be homesick, even if his home wasn’t much. After all even the food was strange.

The nurse went out to call the doctor. Arthur spoke to Merlin “What were you are for now, a doctor will come, he might let you get rid of that tube” he pointed at the catheter. Merlin sat on the edge of the bed his good leg over the side and waited.

Ten minutes later the nurse arrived back with the doctor. “Good evening Mr Pendragon I understand you are a good friend of the Earls and are staying with the patient tonight. My name is Dr Chadha” he held out his hand to Arthur who shook it. Then the doctor turned to Merlin and spoke in Hindi to him. Arthur picked up the odd word but couldn’t keep up with the speed the doctor was talking.

The doctor looked at Merlin, he had read the circumstances of Merlin’s past and was unhappy that he had to deal with this. He had been in England for a year and the one thing he was pleased about was not having to deal with street children, but here one was. He had thought he had left then behind, like many people from India he had an inbuilt mistrust of such people believing them to be thieves, liars, prostitutes and addicts. If the boy had lived among such people for ten years then chances were he was just like the rest. So in Hindi he said “You are causing trouble I hear, you are very fortunate to be brought the England and must do as you are told you are no longer on the streets. Now settle down and do as you are told”

Merlin glared at the doctor, he had been told that people wouldn’t be like this but it seemed they lied to him. “I didn’t ask to come here! I go back” he snarled in Hindi.

“Speak when you are spoken to, and be respectful” the doctor spat back in Hindi.

Arthur not liking the tone of the voices was about to speak when Freya interrupted “Doctor could Ramesh have his catheter out. He only had it for the flight over. I’m sure if he had that then he would settle down. After all its confusing for him”

Dr Chadha looked at the nurse “Don’t be fooled by his innocent face, the street children are very good a manipulating people. But yes take the catheter out. Otherwise he will keep fiddling with it and get infected.” He looked through the notes “Has he had tests for STD including HIV, also he need to be observed for withdrawal, he’s sure to have been using either drugs or alcohol. You will need to be very firm with him.”

Arthur listened in disbelief at what the doctor was saying. He stepped next to Merlin and put a hand of support on his shoulder “Doctor I think those remarks are totally uncalled for and unprofessional, also I didn’t like you tone you used with Merlin.”

The doctor turned to Arthur “Sir with due respects you don’t understand the situation. Your friend’s brother will have been living a live such as you don’t comprehend. He has been amongst thieves, addicts and prostitutes that’s how they live. The Earl has been very brave to take on such a person.”

“I do understand perfectly! I worked with a charity for nine months in Mumbai working with the street children, it was I who found Merlin” Arthur paused “I was appalled with how children were living and treated. It’s not surprising they have problems. Instead of condemning then you should condemn the fact that your country allows its children to live in such a state. You used an unacceptable tone with him, I don’t know what you said but I do know it wasn’t comforting or kind so please apologise”

“I apologise if you found my tone harsh Mr Pendragon but you will find you have to be firm or you will be ignored. As I said to the nurse he may have his catheter out. I will make sure he has the tests. I only wish him to have all the investigations needs so we can treat him for all the problems he might have. I do understand how he has lived. Mumbai was my home for most of my life and not a few months. The charities do a good job but are by nature over sympathetic. I’m sure you understand that.” The doctor’s tone was completely different to Arthur than it had been to Merlin.

“You misunderstand me” Arthur said firmly, he might not yet be twenty but he was his father’s son “I meant you need to apologise to Ramesh not me. I know how he was treated in Mumbai hospital and why he was frightened to go in, but you are in Britain now, and should leave your prejudices behind. We will have Ramesh treated with respect and kindness” 

The doctor turned to the nurse “I have a lot of work to do. I leave you to sort this out” he walked out without saying another word.

“I am sorry Sir, I will speak to the registrar, that doctor isn’t on Ramesh’s normal team.” Freya was clearly shocked and embarrassed.

Arthur nodded “I’m just please I was here and not Gwaine.” He knelt down a the side of the bed “I’m sorry Ramesh, he had no right, I don’t know what he said to you but don’t think all doctors are like that, you like Elyan don’t you?”

Merlin gave a weak nod, but to was clear he wasn’t happy “I not sell my body and I don’t use drugs or steal” he whispered

“I know Ramesh” Arthur gave Merlin a hug. “Let the nurse take out that tube”

Freya had collected the things she needed and soon removed the catheter. And then went and got Merlin and Arthur a cup of tea. She had realised that Merlin liked his tea especially if it was sweet. She gave him his tea and then sat next to him. “I’m sorry Ramesh, I will talk to his senior about what happened. I thought it would help to speak your own language”

Merlin looked at her and a small tear ran down his cheek, he looked at Arthur “I go home soon”


	25. Chapter 25

Arthur took a deep breath “Not yet Ramesh, you have to get better, it will be better I promise. I won’t let him near you again” Arthur looked at the nurse “I don’t blame you for what happened but I will be making a complaint in the morning.”

“I will also report this, it is unacceptable” Freya told the blonde. “Please Ramesh don’t think any of the rest think this about you” she turned to Arthur “I will get a form for you and also fill in an incident form” with that she went out and collected some paperwork for Arthur.

Freya then rang the registrar on call and told him what had happened. Although the registrar hadn’t met Merlin or his family he did know about him. “Was the brother present?” he asked

“No, but his best friend was and I understand they all live together and that he is the son of Mr Pendragon who was the Earl’s guardian.” Freya told him “It was quite unpleasant, I wouldn’t have thought it of Dr Chadha”

“Nor would I but it happened. I’ll come down and see the patient and Mr Pendragon. God knows what Elyan will say in the morning”

A few minutes later the registrar knocked on the door and walked in to find Arthur trying to comfort Merlin. Merlin looked up and sank into the bed and pulled the covers over his head. “Hello I am the on call registrar Mr James Freya ran me and told me what happened and I have come to express my apologies to you both and say the matter will be investigated and we take any such matters very seriously. Your Consultant will also be told in the morning.”

Arthur looked at the registrar “We had trouble getting Merlin to agree to come back with us and promised him that he would not be treated the same as he was in Mumbai, I myself worked for a charity out there for nine months and saw first-hand the prejudice the street children suffered, and I never expected him to receive that here, that man is a few moments has destroyed the trust we have been building up” he gently patted what was Merlin’s shoulder under the blanket. “Now all Ramesh wants to do is go back to the streets, even though he knows it will probably mean his death! What are you going to do, I have to ring his brother and you can rest assured the Earl will be furious” Arthur knew full well Gwaine hated using his title but also knew it’s value.

The Registrar approached the bed “Ramesh, I want to say how sorry I am, none of us agree with what Dr Chadha said to you”

A muffled voice from under the blanket came back “I not do sex or drugs…..never. I hard worker”

“I know that Ramesh, and even if you had, he had no right to say those things to you, the street children have no choice and should be treated with respect. Can you please let me see you?” the doctor said kindly.

After a small wait Merlin popped his head out from the blanket and glared at the doctor, who held out his hand for Merlin to take. It was clear to the registrar that Merlin had been crying “That’s better, Hello Ramesh it’s a pleasure to meet you, now has the nurse got rid of that tube for you?”

Merlin nodded “I’m not bad that man wrong” he whispered.

Arthur gave Merlin a hug “We know you’re not Ramesh, you are very good and brave”

Merlin looked at Arthur “I sleep on the floor” he asked again “People go away” 

The doctor smiled at Merlin “I am really sorry Ramesh, we all know you are a brave and good person. About the floor I’d rather you didn’t, we want to keep your leg as clean as possible and also the nurses need to check on you and that will be difficult for them if you are on the floor. Can you sleep there tonight? and we will see if we can find something more comfortable in the morning.”

Arthur smiled at Merlin “If necessary we will go out and buy the hardest mattress we can” he promised.

The doctor looked at Merlin “I see the feeding tube is out as well.”

“Merlin looked guilty he had pulled it out. He handed it to the doctor. 

“No matter we can sort that out in the morning” the doctor couldn’t see much of Merlin be realised form what he could see that he was severely malnourished and also clearly confused and frightened. His heart went out to him when Merlin’s hand crept out form the doctor saw how thin Merlin was. “Look you can eat until Midnight then you need to stop because of your operation so how about we get some food in. I know a good Indian restaurant that will send food in, it won’t be like you are used to but would you like that?”

He was gifted with a very small and tentative smile “What’s your favourite food?”

Merlin chatted away quickly in Hindi the doctor smiled “I tell you what I will ring them and you tell them.” the doctor pulled out his mobile and once he got through he spoke to the owners he was clearly known “I have a young man in the ward who has come from Mumbai and I have promised him his favourite food can you oblige? I will give the phone to him.”

He handed his phone to Merlin who immediately chatted in Hindi then he handed the phone back the owner told the doctor “This is not on the menu but my wife will cook and we will get it there as soon as we can”

The Doctor agreed to pay extra and so it was organised. Within a short time the packages arrived the delivery man said that the owner had added some extra things.

Merlin had asked for Sabudana vada and Batata vado both dumpling type foods that he would have been able to easily buy and eat of the food stalls and some samosa. The wife had also cooked Pao bhaji and sent some sweet Barfi. They were obviously form what the family ate at home and were nothing like the normal Indian take away the doctor normally had. Merlin tucked in with relish and by the end had a satisfied smile on his face.

He looked up at the doctor “Thank you” came a whisper

“No problem it was a nice meal, l now I must get back to work, Remember no more eating and only water if you want a drink and the nurse will tell when you must stop drinking water.” He was pleased to see Merlin coming out of himself a bit, the boy was clearly not one to hold grudges. 

Arthur thanked the doctor for his kindness and offered to pay for some of the meal but he refused “My treat”

Arthur got the name of the take a way for future reference and then get Merlin to settle for the night, which was easier than he thought, a full belly making Merlin much more amenable. The next morning Gwaine arrived in plenty of time to see his brother before he went to theatre, he had brought Mordred with him. Arthur told him what had happened the night before adding “I have filled in a complaint form so did Freya, the nurse. The registrar last night apologised and promised to look into it, he also managed to get some authentic Indian food for Merlin to eat before he had to stop.”

Gwaine was livid and demanded to know why he hadn’t been called. “Because it wouldn’t have achieved anything” Arthur said “Merlin was happier once the registrar came to speak to him”

“I’ll have the man sacked!” Gwaine roared 

“Don’t upset Merlin before theatre, keep your cool until then please Gwaine” Arthur begged his foster brother. 

Gwaine looked at Merlin and then smiled “OK I can do that” he went up to his brothers, Mordred was talking to Merlin and asking how he was, then he started to show his brother how to use the television that was on an arm over the bed. He had bought a card for it on the way up to the ward.

Gwaine joined in until Elyan walked in to check Merlin “Right Ramesh, they are ready to take you” he said as a nurse and two porters arrived “We will take you on the bed. Your brothers can come with you until you are asleep” the group went to theatre and soon Merlin was asleep. Mordred had held Merlin’s hand until they had to leave. 

Elyan caught then as they were leaving. “I heard about last night and I am very sorry, once I have finished in theatre this morning I will investigate. I know the manager will be looking into things as well. She is speaking to Arthur now. By the way I have given permission for you to go and purchase a hard mattress for Merlin. No normal practice as the hospital ones are designed for pressure relief. But if it helps Merlin settle.” He smiled “Now don’t worry he will be in theatre for about two hours so go off while you can”

Gwaine and Mordred walked back to the ward to find Arthur. Who was being seen by the manager Ms Annis as Gwaine arrived he heard her saying “Thank you for your time Mr Pendragon I will get back to you as soon as I can” she turned round and saw Gwaine “Ah Earl Essetir I assume?”

Gwaine looked at the older woman and nodded “I am, are you the manager that is investigating the disgraceful behaviour of your doctor?” Gwaine looked at her his eyes hard and body language uncompromising, he may only be nineteen but he had lived with Uther Pendragon most of his life and like Arthur had learnt a few things.

 

“I am Sir. I have a couple of other people to speak with and I will get back to you.” Annis told him, she had already heard enough to know she would need to tread very carefully. “Rest assured appropriate action will be taken, the doctor has been suspended until this is sorted.”

“It had better be, my brother is a vulnerable child who has been accused by a doctor in your hospital of being a prostitute and a drug addict, and not to be trusted purely because he was unfortunate enough to have to live on the streets and support himself since he was eight years old. That same doctor was asked to help with that same child as English is not his first language. Yet used that opportunity to treat him with prejudice. This is not acceptable my brother heard what was said about him and this has upset him greatly, yet he didn’t even get an apology.” Gwaine was controlling himself as much as he could, all he really wanted to do was to find said doctor and beat the shit out of him. “I sincerely hope this isn’t behaviour you find acceptable”

Ms Annis looked at Gwaine “I will deal with this I assure you but you do realise I do have to investigate first? I reiterate the doctor has been suspended”

Arthur dragged Gwaine and Mordred out to find a mattress, they found a hard orthopaedic mattress and arranged for it to be delivered to the hospital. 

Mordred tried it and said “I couldn’t sleep on that” 

Gwaine had relaxed slightly and ruffled his brothers hair “No but you couldn’t sleep on the pavement either. Now before we go back shall we get Merlin some treats to cheer him up?” 

Mordred looked at Arthur “Was that doctor really that nasty to Merlin?”

“He was, he is from India and had the same ways as most of the people there, they think that the street children are trouble and not worth anything. I saw it all the time out there” Arthur explained. “It’s normal for them”

Mordred didn’t look happy “I think that’s horrid, it’s not their fault they are so poor”

Gwaine knelt down next to his brother “He won’t get away with it. And I am also going to see what we can do to help the children we saw in Mumbai, Uncle Uther is going to help as well. We can’t help them all but we will do something. But what we need to do is look after Merlin at the moment and make him feel loved and wanted.”

“I’m sorry I was nasty about him before” Mordred looked at his brother

“That’s all right squirt, none of us coped very well. But we have him back thanks to you, so let’s make him happy”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sabudana vadaSago is soaked until it puffs up. Crushed boiled potatoes, green chillies, coriander leaves and salt are kneaded in. They are then fashioned into palm-sized patties and deep fried until they turn crisp and golden   
> Batata vadadumpling is made by mashing boiled potatoes with green chilies, ginger, garlic, lime juice, turmeric, and fresh coriander, then dipped in a besan (gram flour) batter and deep fried  
> Pao bhaji  
> This specialty dish from the by-lanes of Mumbai has mashed steamed mixed vegetables (mainly potatoes, peas, tomatoes, onions and green pepper) cooked in spices and loads of butter. It is eaten with pao, which is shallow fried in even more butter and served with chopped onions.   
>  Samosa  
> In a crisp crust, you meet the steaming and savory-with-a-hint-of-sour chunks of spiced potatoes and peas.   
> Barfi There are a million variations of it, but the foundation is cream (malai barfi) or condensed milk (mawa barfi) and sugar.
> 
> Foods mentioned in this chapter taken from internet:


	26. Chapter 26

They went round a couple of shops before heading back to the hospital. When they got back they found Uther and Ygraine there with Gaius. Arthur told his father what had happened and what was happening about it. Uther was in agreement with the two teenagers. “We will make sure this doesn’t happen again”

It wasn’t long before Merlin arrived back on the ward. He was still very dozy but smiled when he saw them. The all left Mordred and Gaius with Merlin when the manager and consultant arrived to speak to them. Ms Annis spoke first “As I explained earlier the hospital offers it’s sincere apologise for what happened. I have spoken to everyone involved as has Mr Smith. It is clear that Dr Chadha acted in a manner that brings his profession into disrepute and it not acceptable to the hospital. We have reported the matter to the General Medical Council and have suspended him. Mr Smith has spoken to him as well and has told Dr Chadha that such views are not compatible with working in this hospital. The doctor had offered to apologise to your brother and we wanted to ask your opinion on that”

Gwaine snarled “I don’t want him near Merlin”

“I thought that would be your view, he is writing a letter of apology to you and Merlin and another to Mr Pendragon. I believe he now understands that such views will not be tolerated. From the hospital point of view we will wait for the GMC to come back to us”

Elyan spoke “I saw the prejudice first hand in Mumbai, and understand this is the norm there, but it does not make it acceptable here. I am personally going to speak at the doctors meeting this week and make it clear that any prejudices of that sort are totally unacceptable and will not be tolerated. I hope you feel we can still offer Merlin the care he needs here? From a surgical point of view I will discuss his care after this meeting.”

Gwaine looked at Uther for guidance Uther spoke “Thank you for acting prompt I believe we can all be happy with your actions, and await the GMC’s verdict.”

Gwaine then spoke “I still don’t want that man anywhere near Merlin not even to apologise” 

Elyan nodded “Don’t worry he has been told to remain at home and only come to the hospital if asked.”

Ms Annis looked relieved “I will leave you to discuss the care package. If you need to speak to me again please contact my secretary.”

When the manager had left Elyan turned to the others “The operation went well. I have placed the dressing we talked about on the wound. It will help the tissues to regenerate. Once it has done its job we will graft the deficit. Scans will be taken tomorrow and then we will plan Merlin’s next stage. Although I will send him home on between, he needs building up and getting to optimum condition” he paused “I hope this won’t be a problem, if you think he won’t come back after what has happened we will keep him in but I feel he would be better in a home environment. The physio will meet him later and my sister will see him tomorrow. They will both be involved in his care at home. In fact both would like to visit before his discharge to see if any changes need to be recommended” 

“That will be fine, just get them to ring and I will be there, will he need a special diet?” Ygraine asked

“He will have supplements sent with him and you will be taught how to give the overnight feeds. Other than that a good balance diet. I understand that one of the registrars found authentic Indian cuisine for him. That might be nice for some of the time, whilst he gets used to the changed diet.” Elyan grinned “I know your brother is fast becoming a favourite with the ward staff” he told Gwaine.

“Yeh he has a way with him” Gwaine grinned “He gets that from Mum everyone loved her”  
Merlin was dozy until middle of the afternoon waking up for short periods only. Then at three the mattress turned up. Gwaine and Arthur were still there the rest had gone home. Gwaine went out and asked the nurses if there was any way they could change the mattress. As Gwaine was speaking to Freya a large man dressed in navy trousers and a white tunic approached. Freya turned and smiled “Here’s just the man you need. I can help as well bit the rest are busy” she turned to the big man. “Percy this is Merlin Emrys brother the Earl of Essetir, I wonder if you could help change the mattress on his bed?” then she turned to Gwaine “This is Percy Strong the Physio that will be looking after Merlin.”

Gwaine looked at Percy who was well over six foot tall and very muscular, he has short cropped hair and was a few years older than him. He held out his hand “Hello Percy please call me Gwaine. I would be glad of your help, We are calling my brother Ramesh at the moment as that’s what he has asked.”

“Hello Gwaine, I have read your brothers notes, shall we get on with it then, I will introduce myself and then after we have changed the mattress I will get to know Ramesh before tomorrow when I start his treatment regime”

“Just to warn you after yesterday Ramesh has become very withdrawn, I doubt he will talk to you” Gwaine cautioned him.

They went down to the room and Gwaine introduced Percy to Merlin and Arthur. As Gwaine predicted Merlin just looked at Percy and didn’t say anything. Percy knelt down by the bed and looked at Merlin and held out his hand “Hi Ramesh, nice to meet you” when Merlin continued to stare in silence Percy continued “We are going to get you onto your new mattress, now to do that we need to get you off the old one. So I will pick you up and sit you in the chair, are you happy with that?”

Merlin looked up at Arthur as if to ask him to pick him up. He was still happier with Arthur than anyone, Arthur looked at the scared youngster “Percy needs to do it Ramesh, he knows how to do it without hurting you” then he grinned “He also looks a lot stronger”

Merlin looked at Percy and gave a small nod. Percy grinned at him then looking at the others said “If you wouldn’t mind removing the old mattress and replacing it while Freya sorts out the tubing and supports Ramesh’s leg. I will sort out Ramesh. That way if you don’t fancy sitting in the chair we can get you back to bed”

The men all sorted themselves out and got into position. Percy bent down and carefully picked up Merlin and moved away from the bed as Freya supported his leg and made sure nothing got pulled or tangled. Gwaine and Arthur soon sorted the mattresses and threw a sheet over it in case. Percy turned and very gently sat Merlin in a high backed chair and pulled a stool over and placing a pillow on it positioned Merlin’s injured leg. “Does that feel comfortable?” he asked, this time he got a smile 

“Thank you, you are strong” Merlin told him.

“We’ll get you strong after we get you better” Percy smiled at the younger boy. “But it will be lots of hard work”

Merlin looked almost insulted “I can work hard”

“I’m sure you can” can the rejoinder. Percy walked across and felt the mattress “That’s hard!” he looked at Merlin “I know you are used to it, but you must move frequently to stop yourself getting sore, or you will go back on the other one” he threatened.

Percy had taken the time while moving Merlin to look at his deformed limbs and realised that he would be working with Merlin for a long time. He knelt down again by Merlin before saying “You get a bad back can you show me where?”

Merlin pointed to his lover back “There, it got worse” 

Percy nodded “When you were walking was you whole foot on the ground?” 

Merlin looked puzzled not understanding, so Arthur spoke up “No, I used to see Ramesh a lot when I was doing my charity work. He walked on the outer edge of his foot and always bear footed” Arthur explained “His body twisted to one side”

“We need to build your muscles up once you’ve had your scan your consultant will talk to you all and we will build a plan” Percy seemed to be putting Merlin as ease despite his large size. “I’ll leave you for now and take the old mattress out.” He looked at the two men “I will be back in about half an hour to get Ramesh back in bed, please call if he wants to go back earlier”

When Percy came back and put Merlin back on the bed the youngster was more at ease. He was also pleased with the bed. Merlin curled up and closed his eyes, he wasn’t asleep, just thinking, he thought that the man called Percy was a bit frightening at first but he was quiet and gentle and he didn’t seem to look down at him. When he looked at his arm and leg it wasn’t with pity but something else, like a problem to be solved, Merlin hated pity. He liked the nurses Freya and Elena although some of the others he wasn’t sure about. He also liked the man that had got him the Indian food the night before. But the man who had been nasty to him had frightened him. Merlin wondered who else he would meet. He gradually fell asleep and he didn’t wake up until tea time.


	27. Chapter 27

After eating what he could Merlin curled up once more. Arthur said goodbye and disappeared telling Merlin that Morgana would be visiting him the next day. “She wants to get to know you, she has been moaning she hasn’t had the chance, then later Mordred will come”

Turning to Gwaine Arthur asked “Do you need anything bringing in?”

“No I have all I need thanks, it’s nice to have time alone with Ramesh. We are going at look at the TV if he stays awake long enough”

Gradually Merlin was becoming more comfortable with Gwaine and Gwaine was seeing more and more of the brother he had lost. The smile when it happened was the same and also his underlying gentleness. The cutting humour wasn’t the same but then Gwaine supposed his life hadn’t let him stay the same. What Gwaine found hardest, besides Merlin’s refusal to use his name, was the fact that even the smallest things confused Merlin. His lack of knowledge of what to Gwaine was common place made conversation difficult, they had so few joint points of reference in their lives. Also at times Merlin could be very snarky and that was so unlike the Merlin he once knew.

Gwaine hoped that if Merlin started to watch television he would understand the culture better, the trick would be to choose the right programmes. Gwaine had got hold of some documentaries, he had watched them through and felt they would help. They showed the poorer in British society, he wanted to show his brother that although there was a problem in the UK, it was nothing like the poverty in India and also affected far fewer people. He had also found some programmes due on that showed Britain in its many guises, the city, towns and countryside. What he wanted to avoid at all costs were the soaps with their drama that concentrated on bad relationships. He had also brought some books in, he realised Merlin didn’t read but he choose coffee table books with lots of pictures.

After they had settled down and watched the first of the programmes Merlin looked at his brother “Who sorts the rubbish?”

“Well we all put our rubbish in different boxes to be collected. The Councils pay men to drive round in Lorries to collect it all. On the streets there are bins everywhere and we are all supposed to put our rubbish in those, but we also have adults who are paid to sweep the streets.” He could see his brother’s confusion

“But what do the orphans or those who leave home what do they do, how do they life if they have no work?” 

Gwaine thought carefully before answering. “The orphans are taken into either homes or fostered to families and cared for. There are lots of laws here that stop children being abused, it still happens, but if necessary then the government social workers make sure they are safe and cared for. There are still some who run away and live on the streets of our cities, but the numbers are a lot lower than in India and they can get help, most are teenagers. There shouldn’t be any at all but there are. What you have to understand is that there is nothing like the poverty there is where you lived. When you are able we will travel around.” Gwaine paused “Knowing you has made me more aware of these things and I intend to help the homeless here as well as India.”  
Merlin’s questions continued he had an insatiable thirst for knowledge and seemed to have questions about everything. So by that evening Merlin was exhausted, combined with his harder bed he slept well.

The next morning first thing Merlin went for his scans. He hated at the large machines scared him but he put on a brave face. Once back in his room Elyan and Percy came to speak to him and Gwaine. The surgeon explained in detail what the plan was and that it would take several operations and would take some two years to complete them all, the Merlin would need to continue with Physio. “I can’t promise everything will be perfect but you will be a lot better. Once your leg is healed I will operate on your leg and back. Your arm will be done later. It will be a big operation but I think it makes sense to do both back and leg together. You may need a further operation on your ankle to strengthen it.” 

Elyan showed Merlin and Gwaine pictures of what he was going to do and how it would help Merlin’s posture. “Percy will look after you rehab. He will also help you strengthen you muscles before we operate. It will be hard work Ramesh”

Merlin looked at the doctor and just nodded, all through the talking he had been taking everything in. The whole thing scared him. One Elyan had left Percy looked at Merlin “Ramesh did you understand everything?”

“Think so, will it pain me?” he asked

“It will sometimes, but we can help you if you tell us. But the idea is to get rid of the pain you already have.” Percy looked at Gwaine “Is there anything you wanted to ask?”

“Yes there is, the doctor said he would take bone from Ramesh’s hip to graft the leg, can he take it from me?” Gwaine wanted to save his brother pain if he could.

“No sorry Ramesh’s body would reject it, nice idea through” Percy added “Now Ramesh you need to eat really well, your tube feed will continue but you need to eat as well.” Percy smiled at the teenager. The next hour was spent with Percy going through exercises with Merlin, explaining to Gwaine as he did so “He will need to do some of these every hour. I will leave you both a chart to follow”

Again Merlin just nodded. Then the door opened and a young woman entered, Gwaine knew immediately who she was, he could see the resemblance to the consultant. “Hello I am Gwen Smith I will be working with Ramesh” she smiled at Merlin who automatically smiled back.

“You must be Ramesh” she held out her hand Merlin took it very shyly before Gwen turned to Gwaine “Your Grace”

Gwaine smiled “Please call me Gwaine, I can’t do with all these flowery titles.” He held out his hand. “So you will be helping my brother?”

“I hope so, the idea is for me to help him adjust to this new world he finds himself in and also to help him with some basic education. But most of all to be his friend and talk to him” Gwaine felt at ease with Gwen she seemed a very sweet woman. Gwen looked back at Merlin “I expect you have found it all very strange, even the food is different”

Merlin didn’t speak but looked at his brother, Gwaine picking up the unspoken question from Merlin turned to Gwen “Ramesh has had some trouble since he got here it has made him wary of strangers”

“So I read, Ramesh I would never treat you like that I want us to be friends.” She picked up one of the books that Gwaine had given Merlin “I see you already have some books”

“I’ve been trying to explain the country and differences, Ramesh is very curious” Gwaine told her, “But its hard to know where to start”

“Well how about we take you outside in a wheelchair?” Percy asked Merlin. “Would you like to go outside?”

Merlin smiled “Right let’s get a chair” Percy disappeared. 

Gwen bent down next to Merlin “You will like Percy he is a gentle giant, I hope we get on well. Your brother can always take you out around the hospital grounds all he needs to do is get someone to get you in a chair safely. But we need to wrap you up, it might beginning summer here but it’s a lot colder than what you are used to, You just have to be here when you are needed for treatments.”

Percy was back with a wheelchair which he soon had Merlin sat in and his leg up on an attachment that held it out in front, instead of letting it hang down. “The machine runs on battery you have an hour before it needs plugging in.” The machine hooked on the back on the wheelchair. The Percy wrapped Merlin up in blankets and made sure his legs were covered. “Maybe your brother can get you a coat” 

“I’ll get one tomorrow” Arthur agreed as the four of them went out Percy pushing the wheelchair. Merlin looked round with interest first at the ward as they went through it then as soon as they were outside he took a deep breath. “Are you alright Ramesh?”

Merlin looked up at his brother “I miss being outside” As they went round to a small garden Merlin’s face broke into smile as he saw the flowers and in the background some hills. Percy settled Merlin into a sheltered spot.

“I need to go now but I’m sure Gwen can look after to go now but I’m sure Gwen can look after you, when you get back to the ward get someone to call me and I will get you back into bed.” Percy went off.

Gwen and Gwaine sat down on a bench near Merlin “This is nice isn’t it. Now Ramesh we need to get to know one another and we can’t do that if you won’t speak to me. So can you talk to me?”

Merlin looked at Gwen then his brother Gwaine smiled and nodded “Ramesh I know you can talk a lot I’ve heard you, Gwen is a nice lady who will be helping you to get better.”

Gwen waited a moment and when Merlin still didn’t speak she smiled at him. They spent nearly an hour outside and bu. They spent nearly an hour outside and by the end Merlin had started to open up. Then they headed into the hospital once more. Once Merlin was back in bed Gwen and Gwaine left Merlin with Percy as it was clear that Merlin had taken a liking to the physio.

Gwen took Gwaine into the office. “I just thought I’d go through what I will be doing with your brother. My main focus in the first place will be to build trust with him, then I will start to slowly try to reawaken his memories. This might well be traumatic for him. The scans showed that Merlin did not appear to have sustained a head injury of any significance from the crash. It is likely therefore that the trauma and pain has caused him to supress his memories.” She paused “When he starts to remember it may be quite difficult for him so you need to be prepared”

“In what way?” Gwaine asked “We want him to remember but if it will cause him problems is it best her doesn’t”

“No, because he will remember sometime and far better that he does it in a controlled way. As well as helping him with that I will also start to teach him basic skills he will need. Reading and writing and simple math. The good old three R’s. With your help I will also start to help him to understand the world around him so he can settle in. It will be hard for you all. We need to include his wider family in this.”

“They all want to help” Gwaine told her

“Good because this won’t be easy, I have read his files and also familiarised myself with the type of life he has led. Your rather opulent lifestyle will be difficult for him. I don’t mean that in any way a criticism. One thing I have picked up on by talking to Iseldir in Mumbai is Merlin’s long standing wish to return to the mountainous country he lived in as a child. That time was, despite his injuries, a better time that the slums and streets. The fact that both the Pendragons and yourself live in a fairly green area will help. From what I understand your own home will be heaven for him. However at first I feel he needs to go to the Pendragons where he will have more people around him.”

“That was the plan. He knew that house as well as his own” Gwaine admitted “We were always close to the Pendragon’s in fact they were my legal guardians and are still my younger brothers.” 

“He will be in hospital for a couple of weeks and I will work with his every day. At first I would like someone he knows there but after a couple of days I will also spend time alone with him. Please try not to worry Gwaine, I am sure we will come through this, but it may well take a long time”

Just after that Morgana and Mordred arrived, Gwaine hung around long enough to make sure Merlin was happy with the company, before leaving with Arthur to go down to the coffee shop, he needed to get away for a bit. Arthur could tell this friend was in need of a chat.

Merlin looked at the two youngsters once Gwaine had left. Morgana gave him a hug “It’s great to see you Ramesh, sorry I haven’t see much of you but there are so many of us” she kissed him on the cheek. Merlin moved over on the bed and patted it as he looked at Mordred.

Mordred smiled “I don’t think I’m supposed to Ramesh” he said nervously. 

Merlin looked at him straight in the face “Want you to”

“Go on Mordred I’m sure if you’re careful it will be ok, but take your shoes off” Morgana smiled at him, at sixteen she now thought of herself as an adult. In fact she knew the nurses would be cross if they knew her age. She had visited friends in hospital before and knew an adult should be with them. But clearly Gwaine and Arthur hadn’t given it a thought.

Mordred took his shoes off and sat up on the bed next to Merlin who pulled his younger brother closer. He wasn’t sure why but Merlin felt a connection with the other boy. He had always got on with the younger street children. Mordred looked at his brother and smiled “It’s good to have you home Merlin, even if I don’t remember you, it seems like I did”

Merlin scowled at the slip in the name. Mordred realising what he had done blushed “Sorry”

Merlin looked at him thoughtfully “Why you all want to call me Merlin? I see Gwaine nearly saying it, my name Ramesh”

Morgana looked at Merlin and smiled at him “You have to forgive us Ramesh, but we knew you as Merlin and it is hard to call you anything else”

Merlin looked at the other two, “Makes you sad?” he asked

Mordred swallowed wondering what to say, but very quietly he said “It upsets Gwaine most. It is hard to remember not to call you Merlin sometimes” then he rushed on “But we will get used to it”

Merlin sat and looked at the wall then he said “I was called names they called me Gora, white man, they didn’t like me much”

Morgana hugged Merlin “We love you very much” she assured him.

Merlin seemed to come to a decision “You call me this Merlin if you want, nickname like Gora but nicer, might not answer if I forget, but mamma called me Ramesh, I always be Ramesh.”

Mordred hugged his brother “Thank you, you will make Gwaine very happy, he has been sad for years because he missed you so”

They chatted about the machine on his leg and the people he had met. Merlin told them about the man who had been nasty to him, which made Morgana mad “You tell me who it is, no one is allowed to upset you!” she glared

Merlin looked at her “He not come anymore Gana”

Morgana stopped her rant and starred at Merlin “You called me Gana, you always used to call me Gana”

Merlin looked down “Sorry”

“No Merlin, that’s wonderful I like it” she beamed at him and kissed him again, which in turn made Merlin feel uncomfortable. He knew these people thought he was part of their family but he knew he wasn’t, not really.


	28. Chapter 28

Merlin found himself getting to like Gwen who came every morning and helped him with his English and to make sense of the world around him. It was easier with her, she didn’t expect him to remember things. After he had agreed to let them call him Merlin it had somehow got worse. They would think he remembered things that he didn’t. 

It was this sixth day in the UK when the press finally caught up with the story. Several reporters had tried to get to see Merlin but were blocked. The rest of the family didn’t do as well, Uther had tried to get an injunction but it was turned down. After finding out what they could in the UK they turned to India. The clinic was traced and Iseldir and Will were questioned. One intrepid and determined reporter went to the crash site instead of relying on old new reports. After a few days he found the hut where Amata had lived and the closest neighbours who told him about Amata’s husband and child who had died in a coach accident. They had been riding on the roof and fell off and died. Amata seemed to have had a breakdown, not accepting she had lost her family. The neighbours said she had talked of finding her son alive but they had ignored her. When she turned up at the town with a child with the same name as Ramesh her dead son they assumed she had taken in a child from one of the other families. As he was disabled they assumed that he had been turned out as a drain on No one had connected the crash with the child. Then someone came up with a photo of the two of them in a group taken by some tourists. That was splashed over the news in no time.

In hospital Merlin had been kept ignorant of the fuss his discovery had made in the news. As he only watched television when someone was with him it had been quite easy. But then Merlin had been taken out onto the ward and he sat in the day room in his wheelchair for breakfast in the hope he would begin to make friends. One of the other teenagers put the television on and small clip of old film came up just as Merlin looked at the screen. He shouted in recognition. And continued to watch as the aftermath of the crash was shown and then the hut. It was as the hut was shown that Merlin screamed out in distress and began to shout. The nurses came and removed him and called the doctor and Gwen. They also rang Gwaine who had not yet arrived having gone home for the night as Merlin was settling in well.

Elyan tranquilised Merlin, and then arranged to see what had been broadcast. Merlin had clearly been very affected by what he had seen. Gwaine rushed in and created about Merlin being in that situation but Gwen tried to calm him down saying “You can’t shelter Merlin from everything. If it has triggered memories it may well be a good thing, not only that but it looks like we will be able to get him a still of the film that showed the woman who cared for him and he considers his mother. It is also far better it happened here than at home” 

Elyan advised that Gwaine sit with Merlin until he woke, Gwen also waited. Merlin gradually woke and was still distressed. So much so that they needed to get an interpreter in. Although Gwaine insisted that they make sure that the man had no prejudices against street children that could make matters worse. Once the interpreter arrived they were able to establish that it was not the crash scenes that had upset Merlin but seeing his Mama’s on the old clip of film taken by a documentary on the Mumbai dumps many years before. The chance of finding a clip with Merlin and his mama on had been millions to one, then seeing the cottage he had always wanted to return to had just been too much for Merlin. Gwen talked to him and gradually calmed him down. It seemed when he had seen his mama he thought she was still alive and couldn’t process the fact that it was an old piece of film someone had dug up. He had clear memories of the hut and as his life had got harder, after they had left he had attached great importance to a time that didn’t include picking rubbish. 

Following the broadcast Merlin started to get flashbacks that were very distressing for him. Watching the short film Merlin had pointed out his Mama, once that had been done it was easy to recognise the small boy at her side. Several stills were provided for Merlin which he clearly cherished. So much so that he set up a small shrine to her in his room and prayed at it. This was actually very hard for Gwaine and Mordred who wanted Merlin to remember his true parents. Gwaine started to stay the nights again as Merlin would wake up in the night crying from his dreams. Most specifically of his Mama dying and being on his own. It seemed reliving it was almost worse than when it happened. 

Finally it was time for Merlin to leave hospital to continue his recovery before this first bone graft. As the time approached Merlin became more and more anxious. Although he had got to know everyone in the six weeks he had been in hospital the thought of going with them made him nervous. He was still in a wheelchair as the doctor didn’t want his to risk his back further. Although he was allowed to transfer and also walk very short distances. The bad dreams seemed to be lessening but he still had flashbacks.

The journey back was strange for Merlin who spent all the time looking out of the car window at the passing countryside. As they pulled into the drive leading up to Pendragon Manor Merlin wondered just where they were. As he went inside nothing had prepared him for the luxurious surroundings. In his mind the hospital had been posh enough. Gwaine carried him up to his room, the same one he had used as a child when staying at the house. Many of his old toys were still in the cupboard. Although Merlin still had Killi with him he showed no immediate interest with the rest. Gwaine had got Merlin another hard mattress. The next couple of days were spent allowing Merlin to settle in. 

On the third morning Mordred had got up early and went to see his brother to find the bed empty and no sign of Merlin. He rushed around looking for his brother and eventually found him downstairs in the kitchen. How he had got down there he had no idea. Merlin was sat on the floor by the waste bin sorting through the contents. He hadn’t seen or heard Mordred and as he got to the scraps of food that had been thrown away the night before Merlin started to eat them. 

“What are you doing that’s disgusting” Mordred demanded

Merlin looked up guiltily “Was hungry”

“Then get food out of the fridge not the waste bin” Mordred told him “Get on the chair and I’ll get you something” The ten year old looked at his brother and pulled a nasty face. “Aunty Ygraine will be cross”

Merlin was finding things hard since he had come out of hospital, last night had had seen Morgana throwing food away and he couldn’t believe it. It had been good food. So when he felt hungry when he woke up he came down and ate it. Now Mordred who he liked was looking at him as if he was bad.

Uther chose that moment to walk into the kitchen “What’s up boys and Merlin did you come down stairs on your own again? You must be careful”

Mordred looked at his guardian “I found Merlin eating out of the dustbin like an animal”

Uther looked at Merlin and saw the hurt expression on his face “Then I’m animal! Eat of tips for years”

Uther counted to ten “Mordred your brother is not an animal and that was a nasty thing to say. But Merlin you have no need to eat waste food anymore, just have something from the fridge or cupboards.” 

Merlin looked at Uther “It’s bad to throw food away if no one to eat it”

Uther looked at Merlin “You are right Merlin and perhaps we should be more careful in future.” He turned to Mordred “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Toast and marmalade” the younger boy said still feeling sick at seeing Merlin eat from the bin.

“Right, Merlin would you like some? Or something different?” Uther smiled at Merlin and handed him some wipes “You can clean your hands and face while I get you something”

Merlin took the wipe then looking at Uther said “I have what you throw away” he wiped his face and hands and carefully folded the wipe before putting it next to him. Mordred snatched it and put it in the bin.

Merlin looked horrified. “Put with paper rubbish” 

Merlin had listened to Ygraine when she explained that they recycled the rubbish for collection, but he noticed that they weren’t very good at it. He hadn’t grasped that they didn’t get paid to do it and although they did separate some were not perhaps as careful as they could be. He got off the chair and took the wipe from the bin and went to go to the utility to put in the paper sack.

Uther looked at Mordred “We will need to be more careful, Merlin is right” looking at Merlin Uther said “Merlin you must not walk so much, Percy and the doctor want you to keep the weight off your leg”

“Not baby, not cripple” the boy protested “Looked after myself for years”

“I know but we want your operation to work as best as it can.” 

He looked at his friend’s son and wondered how they would ever manage to get him to fit in. At the moment he was like a square peg in a round hole. He handed Merlin and Mordred some toast. Mordred put butter and marmalade on his but Merlin started to eat it dry. Uther kicked himself it was little thing but one he should have thought of it now Merlin would be embarrassed if he mentioned it. But he also knew Merlin needed all the extra calories he could.

Do you want anything on your second piece Merlin, I’m going to have some Nutella would you like to like some.” Mordred looked at Uther and nearly spoke before he realised what was happening, this might be good, his Uncle Uther hated Nutella but if Merlin said yes he would have to have some as well.

Merlin nodded he was getting used to trying different things he didn’t always like them but he did like Nutella. Uther spread some on Merlin’s toast then a thin scrape on his own, as he ate it Mordred grinned. Mordred ate his toast and ran upstairs to change, as he reached the top be bumped into Gwaine and couldn’t help commenting “Merlin was eating out the bin, it was gross!”

Gwaine grabbed Mordred “What did you say to him?”

Mordred looked at his brother “I told him it was disgusting, he was like an animal” as he repeated it he looked slightly ashamed “That was not nice was it.”

Gwaine looked at Mordred “I suppose you were right, but you have to remember how Merlin has survived, he had to eat rubbish. It will take a time for him to understand. We need to be careful what we are doing”

“That’s what Uncle Uther said” Mordred admitted “Should I say sorry?” 

“Only if it comes up, otherwise forget it happened, but try to remember Merlin hasn’t had the life we have had. How did he get down stairs?” 

“Dunno on his bum I expect”

“The bloody idiot will hurt himself” Gwaine ruffled Mordred’s hair “He’s more stubborn that you. I’ll talk to Percy he’s coming today” 

When Percy did arrived Uther called a family meeting and asked everyone not to put food waste in the kitchen bin “We are going to have to think before we throw away anything. It might be good for us, we do waste a lot of food. It isn’t surprising Merlin did that with what he went though”

 

Everyone agreed to be more careful, and also try to think of any other problems that might arise, so they could act before Merlin endangered himself.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am treading on ground I know nothing about in this chapter so I apologise in advance for any errors. They are just that and no insult to the Hindu religion. I normal avoid politics and religion in my stories but this needed to be done. P.M errors and I will gladly correct. This is why it is a shorter than normal chapter

The first two weeks at the Pendragon’s saw Merlin work with both Percy and Gwen as well as settling in to his new life.

Percy spent time with Merlin making sure that the youngster was safe going down stairs as it was clear to everyone that they wouldn’t be able to stop him. It seemed the safest way was for Merlin to go down as he had been doing. Percy asked him to let someone know if he wanted to go downstairs. But it was clear the independent boy would not comply. So Percy gave him a personal alert to wear, explaining that he was to use it if he fell or needed help. Merlin was affronted but agreed but Percy wasn’t filled with confidence about Merlin using it.

Merlin was good at doing his exercises and was making progress at strengthening his muscles prior to the surgery. Percy also worked with Merlin to address his feelings of self worth. It was hard for Merlin who had always looked after himself to fit in. By implementing an easy to use system Percy set up a recycling hub in the utility room, and Merlin was put in charge of it. The bin in the kitchen was removed and all rubbish was to be placed on a low table in the utility, with the exception of food waste that was to go in a special box. Gwen worked with him to write the labels for the bins and Merlin was very proud when he finally manage to write to words.

Percy took Merlin to a community farm in the area and showed Merlin that the food waste was fed to the pigs. Whilst Merlin had a dislike of pigs thinking them dirty creatures he soon fell in love with a family of Gloucester Old Spot piglets.

It was while he was at the farm that Ygraine made a discovery that made her cry. Putting some washed clothes in Merlin’s wardrobe she found a small shrine. Merlin had put his picture of Amata next to a bowl of flower petals that she assumed he had collected from the houses arrangements. There was a candle clearly taken from the dining room and a simple drawing that she assumed to be a goddess of some sort. It made her heart bleed and she realised that while they had been concentrating on Merlin’s physical needs they had clearly forgotten his religious ones. So much so that he had hidden his shrine away.

Later when Merlin got home he went upstairs to change, as he had got dirty with the pigs. Ygraine went up to his room to see him. She sat on his bed next to him. “Merlin are you happy here?”

Merlin looked at her his face a picture of confusion “I am here” he slowly pronounced the words as Gwen had told him 

“I know my love but are you happy? Is there anything we can do to make it better for you?”

Merlin still looked confused but said “Nice here”

Ygraine decided she would have to face the issue, all along they had been told to be honest with Merlin. “Merlin I was putting your clean clothes away and I found your shrine. Why is it hidden away? You can have a special table in here for it, or even a whole room. If you need anything just ask”

Merlin walked unsteadily to the cupboard door and stood in front of it as if guarding the contents. “No tell Gwaine” Ygraine noticed that when Merlin was stressed he left words out so tried to calm him.

“Not if you don’t want me to” she patted the bed next to her “Sit down your leg will hurt” she waited for Merlin to sit next to her. “Why do you not want Gwaine to know dear?”

Merlin looked at Ygraine and swallowed before saying “He hate my mama! He changed my name he tells me about people I don’t know. Amata my mama”

“Oh Merlin my love that’s not true, he doesn’t hate her. He is hurting because he wants you to remember his Mama and Papa. If you want to be Ramesh we will still call you that. It was Mordred who said we could call you Merlin. Would you like that?” 

“Don’t care, but leave Mama alone”

“Merlin we will get your Mama a proper shrine with all the things you need. Did you go to the temples in Mumbai? Are you a Hindu?”

Merlin nodded “Shrine at dump, Mama better Hindu than me, she pray all time to Goddess of Mercy for giving me back” 

“Is that who the drawing is?”

Merlin nodded “Not good but best I do, she understand”

Ygraine wasn’t sure if Merlin meant the Goddess of Mercy or his Mama, and didn’t think it mattered. She took Merlin’s hand “Come on downstairs with you my boy”

Merlin followed wondering if he had done wrong. Ygraine went into her small office and sat by the computer. She typed in Hindu deities and found a shop on line that sold home shrines. “You choose Merlin, you have every right to your religion, call it a present for coming home to us and for all the work you are doing to help with the recycling.”

Merlin picked one then told Ygraine “I pay you back when I get job” she nodded not ever having any intention of taking him up on the offer.

“I will also see if there is a Hindu temple near here. I’m sure there must be” Ygraine had been surprised at Merlin’s choice there were several really tasteful statues but Merlin choose one of what to her was a more garish. But remembering Merlin’s previous life, felt that perhaps his religion had been a bright spot in his life.

Merlin threw his arms round Ygraine awkwardly, in his first real show of affection to her. “No tell Gwaine” he pleaded.

“Merlin he won’t mind I promise, but please don’t hide things from us. We can’t help if we don’t know.” She smiled at the vulnerable boy “You tell him when you are ready”

Ygraine felt awful as she had misled Merlin, she fully intended to have a word with Gwaine, the older boy needed to be more sympathetic to his brother. As did they all, while none of them was religious she felt increasingly guilty that they hadn’t even asked Merlin about his. She was determined to find out what she could and help Merlin to meet that need that he clearly felt he had, and to make sure he never felt guilty about what he was. To her their lapse was as bad as the attitude the Indian doctor had had to Merlin but in a more insidious way.


	30. Chapter 30

When Gwaine and Arthur got back from town later that day Arthur noticed his mother seemed distracted, at first he put it down to the fact that he would soon be leaving home for University. He was off the Oxford in a couple of weeks. Gwaine would be staying closer to home, he had transferred much to Uther’s disgust, to a university where he could come home at night. Arthur caught his mother in her work room after the evening meal. Ygraine often spent time in the evening sewing if the men folk were watching sport on television. 

“Mum are you alright, you seem…….off somehow.” Arthur sat next to his mother

“I’m fine son, something has made me think today that’s all” she looked at her son “You have grown into a fine man and I am proud of you.”

“Is it because of university?”

“No it isn’t although I do admit I would have preferred Gwaine to have been going with you, I know you have Lance and Leon but I would have liked Gwaine to have had support. He hasn’t found life easy. You will do well I know you will.”

“You should have said I could have transferred as well. I did ask Dad but he was adamant.” Arthur looked at his mum “This isn’t about me or Gwaine is it? What’s worrying you?”

Ygraine hugged her son “I could never fool you could I? Sorry I can’t tell you, I promised, it was something that happened with Merlin today. I’m sure it will sort itself out.”

“Do you want me to speak to him?”

“No please don’t, it was private and he will tell you if he wants when he’s ready. I can’t break his trust Arthur” Ygraine looked up at her eldest child “You know he thinks a lot of you don’t you? When you go away keep in contact with him please?”

“I’ll keep in contact with you all, don’t you worry!” Arthur grinned “Look Mum I’ll start Merlin’s feed up tonight, spend some time with him, maybe I can get him to tell me, is that ok?” 

Arthur paused and turned back to his mother, “Mum maybe we need to be careful what promises we make. Maybe sometimes it’s wrong to keep secrets for his sake”

Ygraine looked at her son proudly, he was growing into a sensible man. “You are right of course, if you can’t get it out of him I will ask him if I can tell you” 

Ygraine agreed and so when Merlin went upstairs at none o’clock Arthur followed him saying “Come on squirt, I told mum I’d start your feed, I want to spend time with you before I disappear to Oxford.”

In order to build Merlin up for all the surgery he was still having supplementary fed pumped using the tube that had been placed though his abdomen into his stomach. Merlin hated the tube but put up with it. Once Merlin had washed and changed Arthur set the machine up by Merlin’s bed and set the feed going. It was something Ygraine normally did although Uther, Gwaine and Arthur did sometimes take a turn.

“So you liked the baby pigs today?” Arthur asked as he completed the task. They had all listened to Merlin tell then about the farm he had clearly been enthused.

Merlin grinned “They this big” Merlin held out his hands “I held one. They covered in ………” Merlin’s face screwed up as he thought for the word “Pimples”

Arthur laughed, he had been to the farm with Mordred and knew what Merlin was trying to say “Spots” he corrected with a smile

Merlin nodded “Like” then he patted himself all over “Paint”

“Are you going again?” Arthur knew the answer but he had rarely seen Merlin so enthused

“Percy say next week. Not just pig, they plants to eat, they grow them!”

“Merlin slow down you are missing out words again” Arthur admonished gently. They and all been asked by Gwen to try and make Merlin use full sentences and not encourage his more broken speech pattern. 

Merlin scowled but was soon smiling as Arthur gave the boy a hug. “You know I can’t feel so many bones now that’s very good”

“Stop this” Merlin pointed to the feed

“No, not until the doctors tell us, you won’t need to forever Merlin, but you have to be strong for your operations.”

Merlin frowned then grinned “Then go home!” Although he had put up with all that was happening to him Merlin was feeling increasingly out of place as time went on. Nothing was as he was used to, he wasn’t sure of his place anymore. To start with he had been ill and didn’t care but as he improved there was things he wanted to do that he couldn’t, his prayers were just on part of that. He knew the others wouldn’t understand but he missed the noise and the smells, not of the dump but of the street cooking and the incense from the temples. This was not his life. 

Arthur face dropped, he hadn’t expected that. He had always assumed that once they got to England and Merlin found he had a better life he would forget about returning to India. “Do you still want to? Are you not happy here?”

Merlin looked sad and thoughtful “Yes” Then he looked at Arthur with very anxious look on his face as if he was frighten he would be told off.

“Yes you want to go back or yes you are happy here?” he paused “Look Merlin you can tell me anything, we are friends”

Merlin’s lower lip wobbled and he was clearly feeling very emotional. Arthur held him for a while just giving him support as the younger teenager tried to settle. It worked Merlin looked at Arthur “Mama tell me before she die she would watch over me, when she came back in next life. I not there, she not find me!”

“Oh Merlin” Arthur was lost for words. “Your Mama she will know where you are, I’m sure she will”

“She say, she come back as family, how can she I have no family” Merlin’s eyes looked so lost it almost broke Arthur. 

He knew Merlin hadn’t had friends in India except for perhaps Iseldir and Will, but he hadn’t realised just what an influence the long dead Amata still had on the boy. Then he had an inspiration.

“Merlin where is the photo we got of your Mama, do you think that perhaps that’s why it came to light, so she could keep an eye on you, wherever you where? After all she was right about the locket helping you to get to a better place” Arthur smiled “And this is better isn’t it?”

Merlin nodded “”So where is your photo?”

Merlin moved his legs over the edge of the bed careful not to pull on the tube. “Just tell me Merlin I’ll get it”

Merlin looked at Arthur and decided that as Ygraine hadn’t thought he was silly nor would Arthur. “In the wardrobe” he enunciated carefully “Don’t laugh”

Arthur frowned but opened the door to expose the shrine, now he knew what had upset his mother. There was something very touching and childlike at the home made shrine. He had seen enough roadside shrines in Mumbai to know what Merlin had been doing. Arthur picked up the photo and handed it to Merlin. “Wait a minute I just need to get something.”

Arthur went to his room and picked up a photo frame from his desk and took out the photo, then went back to Merlin “Here you are” taking the photo from Merlin he carefully put it in the plain silver frame then placed it on the bedside table. “We need to get you a table for your shrine.” With that he disappeared again and came back with a small table “This is Gwaine’s he won’t mind, he doesn’t use it”

Placing the table on a blank wall Arthur transferred all the rest of Merlin’s treasures to the table. Then added the photo. “That’s better what do you think. Mama can look after you now”

Merlin just stared at the shrine, then a voice shouted down the hall outside “Alright what idiots nicked my table and covered my bed with crap” Merlin looked at Arthur and started to giggle.

Hearing Merlin Gwaine came into the room “What’s so funny” he demanded.

Merlin then lost it and curled up giggling even more. It was such an unusual thing the Gwaine wasn’t sure what to do, he glance and Arthur and saw the table. His eyes glanced at the contents then he saw Arthur head shake in warning.  
“So that’s where it is, well Arthur you can find a box for all my stuff now!” He demanded and pushed Arthur out of the door. Gwaine looked at his brother who was trying to stop laughing.

“I’m glad you find it funny” Gwaine said in a clearly faux cross voice. “It’s worth losing my table to hear you laugh so much.” He tousled his brother’s unruly hair. Sitting on the bed he looked at Merlin “I saw lots of shrines in India is that a shrine?”

Merlin nodded. Gwaine brown eyes looked at his brother “I’m not religious, when I lost you all I couldn’t believe in anything.” He looked embarrassed, are you religious Merlin? I never asked you”

Merlin muttered. “Merlin please I can’t hear you, look I don’t mind if you are, to live like you did you had to have something to look forward to”

“Hindu, not good one, me not know all the proper words but try. Not do proper” Merlin admitted “Mama teach me some, she pray lots, she thank gods for giving me back every day. When Mama poorly I pray but she die anyway” Merlin paused then looking at his brother “Here I see no one pray so I scared to, no want get told off” he saw Gwaine’s frown so started to repeat talking as properly as he could. “Here I saw no one praying so I was scared, I did not want to do things wrong” he looked leased with himself.

Gwaine realising what Merlin had just done smiled “Well done Merlin, but that’s not why I was frowning. Does anyone else know about your shrine?”

“Aunty find today” Merlin smiled “She getting me a goddess, Arthur found out he give me box for mama photo” then with a giggle “You give me table”

“So I did” Gwaine smiled “You can keep it for now but I will get you a better one. Do you need anything else?”

“Should have a bell and smelly sticks, and tray”

“Look Merlin tomorrow I will find out all you need and you must not feel scared to worship. “Gwaine knew he had some research to do, he thought Smelly sticks would be joss sticks but with his brothers translation anything was possible. Like Arthur he now knew why Ygraine had seemed pre occupied when they got home. 

“But now sleep, while I check if Arthur had tidied my room” he bent down and kissed his brothers forehead “Goodnight Merlin”

It was a sombre conversation downstairs amongst the adults that evening. “I only stumble across his shrine by accident, normally he puts everything away himself. It hasn’t been there long and all that time in hospital and we never thought.” 

“Worse than that” Gwaine said “They asked me and I said none I just didn’t think. I mean who could believe in a god living like that!”

Ygraine looked scandalised “Oh Gwaine! How could you!”

“Mum I should have known and I didn’t think either, most Indians are Hindu” Arthur defended his friend “I suppose we were thinking of Merlin as English, and not Indian”

“Well I found a Hindu temple not far away I will ring for advice tomorrow” Ygraine said

“Give it me Aunty, I’ll go and see them, ask someone to visit Merlin and also tell us what else he needs” Gwaine paused “I want to ask if that carved table in Mum’s room is suitable, if it is I will bring it here for him”

Ygraine thought “Oh you mean the one with the marble top and carved elephants for legs?”

The conversation went on for several hours, they were glad it was now out in the open but wondered what else they had forgotten. It was a thoughtful group who went to bed. Just as Uther was finally dozing off Ygraine asked him “Uther what do we do about Christmas? I mean I know we aren’t religious people but will it upset Merlin?”

“Ygraine love that is months away, we can talk to him before had, like you say we don’t exactly celebrate it religiously. We don’t go to church or anything. It’s more a family holiday let my brain rest ……please!”


	31. Chapter 31

The next day Gwaine went to the temple, a converted church in the town. He was greeted by a man who introduced himself as a Pundit, which as far as he could work out was a priest or teacher. He took Gwaine through to small room where Gwaine explained why he had come. “We have clearly neglected Merlin’s faith and want to put that right. Now what does he need for his shrine? And how often should he come here for services?”

The Pundit showed Gwaine the items he needed and explained where he could get them. “Hindu faith does not have services as such, individuals pray and may Hindu’s do all their prayers at home. Or they are welcome here anytime. We do have special celebration days.” He handed Gwaine several leaflets and went through them. “Would you like me to visit your brother and assist him should he wish?”

All in all the visit was useful and gave Gwaine a better insight into what before had been an unknown religion. In a way he understood it’s attraction to Merlin and the street children and poor of India with its belief in rebirth and therefore the chance of a better life next time. Gwaine said he would ask Merlin if he wanted to see anyone and would anyway bring him to the temple if he wished. Gwaine went to the shop suggested and purchased for Merlin the other items he needed for his shrine, to go with the statue his Aunt had already ordered. He also arranged for his mother’s table to be transported to Pendragon Manor. Gwaine thought his mother would approve of Merlin having the table for such a use.

Meanwhile back at Pendragon Manor Gwen had arrived and was giving Merlin his lessons. Today he was trying once more to learn to read and write. He found it difficult it had been easier when he was copying the words for the bin labels, but now Gwen wanted him to remember how to write his name without copying. He found reading easier and sums the easiest of the lot. After all he had been using sums all his life to make sure he got paid properly. After an hour he had a drink before they went on to the next thing, which was learning about England and its customs. He was overjoyed when dinner time came. Even if he did have to use a knife and fork and not his fingers.

That afternoon Merlin was with Percy for his exercises. That was hard work but at least he could rest from thinking. As they finished the exercises Merlin went to find Mordred who was due home from school. In a way Merlin was envious his younger brother seemed to have lots of friends and he enjoyed school, Merlin wasn’t sure if he would want to be with lots of people all day but he listened as Mordred told him about his day and playing football at playtime. 

Then he went to the kitchen to help Ygraine get the food ready. Merlin was getting quiet good at using the wheelchair and his aunty would set him up at the table peeling the potatoes. When Merlin arrived in the kitchen there was a parcel waiting for him. His statue had arrived. Ygraine had paid extra to have it delivered specially. Merlin opened it and was thrilled. Very carefully putting it back in its box he did his chores before disappearing up the stairs with it. Merlin had perfected doing his bottom shunt up and down stairs to such a degree that he could easily take things with him safely. Once in his room he very carefully put his goddess on his table along with the items Gwaine had got him earlier. He was so proud of his shrine. Carefully lighting a josh stick he said his prayers for his mama and added one for everyone in the house.

That evening Gwen and Percy had a meeting with Gwaine and Uther to discuss Merlin’s progress and their future plans. Gwen explained “At the moment I am working with Merlin to gain basic reading, writing and arithmetic, he is making progress, but he is having to learn a language and other skills at the same time. His use of English is improving all the time, thank all the family for helping him. I’m not sure when he will be able to go to a mainstream school but that’s a goal. I do however think we need to be realistic and say I don’t think he will ever be in a position to take exams. But as long as he can get by and fit in with society I think we can consider that to be a reasonable goal.”

Uther looked at Percy who smiled “Merlin is doing very well with his exercises he seems motivated. Even if he does try too much. As to the other things I am doing with him, the job he has been given to do with the recycling has increased his confidence and given him purpose. What I would like to do more of with him and expand is the farm. I think it will be good for him to work in the open air and they have space for him on their allotment, he has shown great interest. He also likes the animals. Now I know the teenagers who spend time there are both mentally and physically handicapped but it does allow Merlin to mix in a safe environment. Merlin has enough physical problems to qualify and mentally he does have issues.” Percy looked at Gwaine expecting an argument. He knew how protective the elder brother was. “I know Merlin is old for his age in many ways, but he has never had a childhood and it has left him with issues. He finds discipline difficult and he also doesn’t trust easily. He has to learn that he has to follow rules rather than just find ways round them.” The big man grinned “I like Merlin’s attitude he is a determined lad and I think with time he will settle. I’m just not sure what he will settle at. Merlin will always need to feel he is making a contribution and keeping himself. The farm might let him find what he is looking for.” 

Gwaine scowled “He won’t need to work, he will have enough money for anything he needs and he will always have my support.”

“But he will want to feel independent and of use, remember he has worked full time all his life” Percy pointed out

“Percy is right Gwaine, I’m sorry but you won’t be able to stop Merlin’s independence, far better to channel it” Gwen agreed. “I think the farm is a great idea. Then he if he enjoys it he could perhaps find a job on your estate but still feel he has a genuine role and purpose to his life.”

“Will he be strong enough?” Uther asked

“Once he has had all his surgery then yes, as long as he is supervised. Doctor Elyan can’t give guarantees but I think we need to start down that route. Even if what he achieves is a decent home garden where he can provide the house with vegetables it will allow him to keep his pride, and Merlin is very proud” Percy said.

“He has a lifetime to improve his literacy but having an interest like the farm we can use that to set what he is learning. Merlin is far better if he is learning what he wants than a forced programme.” Gwen said “And I don’t think that will ever change. As to my work on his memories, I’m not sure he will ever will remember, but that won’t stop him building strong ties with you all.”

“What do you mean?” Gwaine demanded, it was still his hope that Merlin would remember.

“I have spoken to several experts the trauma Merlin went through and the young age leaves a good possibility that he won’t remember. Nor will he necessarily benefit him if he did. I believe we have already discussed his. If he remembered he will have three parents to grieve for as well as a lost life of experiences. The pain and trauma of the months following the crash would have been such that it might be nicer if he didn’t have to relive that. He does have some flashes and that’s good, he has accepted you are his family deep down, even if sometimes he fights it.” Gwen smiled “A loving stable relationship will do the rest” She looked at Gwaine “He sees you as the family head, even with Mr Pendragon present, he knows you, Mordred and his grandfather are his ‘family’ and rest as his extended family. He has come a long way in a short time.”

Gwaine was doing his best to see what they were saying but he added “I would rather Merlin be happy than anything. I want him to experience all the things he missed as a child. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you I don’t want Merlin to work because he has done enough. I don’t care if he never contributes anything but I do see what you are saying. We have learnt lesson about projecting our thoughts and feelings by missing his religious beliefs. Just do what you think is best for him. I’ll buy him a far if that’s what he wants. A whole herb of pimply pigs!”

Uther looked at Gwaine “Pimply pigs?”

“Arthur said that’s what Merlin called Gloucester old spots.” Gwaine grinned. “He couldn’t remember the word for spot and came up with pimple”

Uther shook his head “I’m not sure being round you two is a good idea”

“Hi you should have heard him giggle last night just because Arthur made a mess in my room. It was great a real giggle.” Gwaine smiled at the memory. “We are good for him!”

Gwen nodded “Yes he is lightening up, soon one of you will end up having to tell him off when he acts like a typical teenager.” She warned

“Not me” Gwaine said “I can’t wait”

Uther rolled his eyes. “Well I have managed two boys now Morgana and Mordred had had his moments. The trouble is if I do tell him off I think my wife will have my guts for garters. Let’s hope I never have to”

“I think you will find Merlin is basically a good lad. I wouldn’t think he will be too much trouble” Percy added hopefully. “If he is I suggest his grandfather, Merlin has the Indian respect for older people”

Gwaine laughed “Grandads eyebrow of doom! Gets you every time.”


	32. Chapter 32

Merlin was thrilled with the table when it came and with help from Gwaine he managed to get a small shelf for the back to raise his Goddess of Mercy and mama’s photo. Merlin now felt better about things as he could pray for his mama and no longer felt he was forgetting her in his new life. His happiness was increased when he was told he would be spending more time at the farm.   
Due to the practice of causing disabilities to some children for begging, Merlin was used to physically handicapped people and had no problems fitting in with many of the children at the farm, even those with learning difficulties. Although there was a great deal of prejudice in Mumbai, Merlin had spent several years with a mother who was considered by many to be mentally ill and held none of prejudgments many people had. He soon settled among the group although had difficulties in working in groups, his whole life had been working alone, even if alongside others. Percy spent time working to try to get Merlin to integrate more. Merlin also become very possessive of his small patch of ground and hated anyone else touching it or the plants he was growing.

Mein also spent time with the piglets and seemed to grow and develop, it was clear he did enjoy being outside and doing something practical. The first crop of radishes he took home for the family was a source of great pride to him. Although he had get into trouble for hitting another child who took some of the radishes. The mornings and the lessons there were irksome for Merlin and Gwen had more difficulties with him. He became surly and uncooperative. In the end Gwen spoke to Gwaine who asked Gaius to visit.

Gaius sat in the classroom and watched his grandson and when Merlin threw his pencil across the room Gaius stood up and walked to Merlin’s side “My boy go and pick that up and say sorry to Gwen”

Merlin looked at the grey haired man and scowled “Don’t want to!”

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to, I told you to do it. Gwen is trying to help you and you need to stop being so silly” the famous eyebrow went up and Merlin wheeled his chair to the pencil then got down and picked it up. Once back in the chair he went to Gwen and refusing to look at her mumbled “Sorry”

Gaius looked at Gwen “why don’t you have a break my dear, me and young Merlin here are going to have a talk.”

“Alright” Gwen said “Would you both like a drink bringing back?”

“That would be splendid” Gaius gave Gwen and encouraging smile. He knew she was finding Merlin getting more difficult recently. Once Gwen had left Gaius moved and sat next to his grandson. Merlin was nearly fifteen and the better food and living conditions had made a real difference in him. He was still slender but was beginning to get muscle definition, especially where he had been exercising. Gaius knew the others still had difficulty sometimes realising how old Merlin was as he was still small for his age.

“Merlin you are nearly a man now, I know you find it hard to study but it is important. Once you can read and write you the world is your oyster.” He paused “You like the farm?”

Merlin nodded sulkily “Then if you want to continue you have to learn to read. At the moment others are helping you, but you need to read your seed packets and books to know what to do” Gaius picked up a parcel from the desk and handed it to Merlin “Here is a book I had when I was your age, I wanted to be a gardener and also keep some animals. It never happened for me. Maybe you will find it more useful than I did.”

Merlin took the parcel and opened it, inside was an old book how to manage a small holding. “In there you will find all you need to start to look after plants and animals, But for it to be any use to you, you need to read.” Gaius told him.

Merlin looked at the book it was full of drawing and information. Clearly an old book he handled it with care. Looking at the front he saw some writing and frowning read it with Gaius’s help 

‘To my grandson Gaius, all you will need to know to achieve your dreams” 

Merlin looked at Gaius “It’s yours my boy, but you have to work hard to read or it will be no good to you” 

Merlin looked at his Grampy and threw himself into the old man’s arms “For me to keep?” he asked

“For you to keep, I have another if you learn to read that one. But I want you to promise me not to be silly and throw things around. Learning to read and write is hard, but you are doing well. We are proud of you my boy, don’t let us down.” Gaius raised his eyebrow as he looked at Merlin. 

This caused Merlin to smile, he put his hand up and touched his grandfather’s eyebrow “Gwaine says eyebrow of doom” with that he giggled.

Gaius smiled he was well aware of Gwaine’s comments. “He does, does he? Well perhaps I should speak to him!” Gaius raised his eyebrow deliberately as he looked at Merlin who smiled. “You should laugh more often my boy. It’s good to hear.” Gaius hugged the young lad “But please no more sulky behaviour”

When Gwen came back Merlin asked if he could read his new book, Gwen smiled “I see no reason why we can’t try, but many of the words will be hard for you yet” she told Merlin.

Soon afterwards it was time for Arthur to leave for University. Merlin had been spending his evenings with Gwaine, Arthur Morgana and Mordred. He had also become a great favourite with all their friends. But Merlin was upset when he realised with Arthur leaving it meant he would not see the blonde very often, they had kept the close bond that had formed in Mumbai. Arthur promised to keep in touch but that didn’t seem to comfort Merlin. The morning Arthur was to leave he got up early and went to Merlin’s room to talk to him, only to find the room empty. The bed was cold and it looked like Merlin had stopped his feed early. Going downstairs Arthur couldn’t find Merlin anywhere so he went back up and checked with Mordred then Gwaine. He wasn’t with either of them so Gwaine joined Arthur in the search. Realising he wasn’t indoors they headed outside, now worried. Uther had been woken and was going to join them. 

It was Arthur that found him, he in the back floor well of Arthur’s car covered in a travel blanket, Arthur had packed the car the night before and clearly Merlin had got in sometime after that. When he was discovered Merlin had to be forced to leave the car and was upset that he had been found. It was Gwaine who managed to get him out but only after a long conversation and much pleading. Gwaine reinforced the fact that Arthur would still be speaking to Merlin and he himself wasn’t moving away. But it was hard for Merlin to understand. He knew the both men were going somewhere called university to continue to learn but he couldn’t understand why. No one had realised just how dependant he felt on the two, somehow he had linked them with his feelings of safety.

“You can’t go!” he told Arthur “I come here to be with you, now you leave”

“Merlin I won’t be gone forever, I will come back in the holidays and I will phone you” Arthur felt guilty about upsetting Merlin, he saw the younger lad as a younger brother “You need to stay here and do all your lessons, and soon you will have your operation, you won’t realise I am gone”

Gwaine was at the other door “Merlin please come out and let’s get you indoors. How long have you been here?”

“You go as well, you leave me!” Merlin shouted at him. “I go with you”

“Merlin I am not going, I will be coming home every night I promise” Gwaine told his brother. Please mate come out, I don’t want you getting hurt.” 

Arthur started to unpack some of the car until he could try to reach in and pick Merlin up and get him out. Merlin shuffled back but in doing so Gwaine managed to reach him and lift him out. Holding his brother in his arms he turned to Arthur “Pack the car and lock it up, I’ll take him indoors”

Merlin clung to his brother clearly distressed. He had been listening to the men and their friends taking about university and all they were going to do and he had made up his mind they were fed up with him. He was still very insecure about his position in the family. His independent nature had meant that the others didn’t realise just how insecure he was. After Arthur had left Merlin went to his room and refused to come out. He watched Gwaine carefully and was looking out the window every day when the brunette got home. Arthur kept his promise but it was clear Merlin hadn’t forgiven the blonde for leaving him.

When the time came that Elyan wanted Merlin to come in for surgery Merlin didn’t want to go, his small patch of vegetables was growing well and he didn’t want to leave them. Gwaine told Merlin that he and Mordred would look after them for him. After some persuasion Merlin was packed up to go to hospital. He was to have his back and leg operated on. It was the largest of the procedures he was to have and included having a bone graft from his hip to his leg. 

The back was straightforward, Merlin was having a cage put over part of his spine to strengthen it and help get it back into alignment after years of incorrect posture. His leg was to be broken, straightened and with bone grafts, pins and plates held into the correct position. He was also to have some ligaments shortened and other stretched. He went in the day before his surgery and was given the same room as before and seemed pleased to see Freya once more.

Gwaine walked beside the trolley as Merlin was taken to the theatre and stayed with him until he was asleep. The he waited even though he knew the surgery would take hours. He refused to go to University that day. Gwaine was worried, he knew the operation was complex and couldn’t help but wonder if he had been right in talking Merlin into it. Gwaine found himself by Merlin’s shrine that he had brought into hospital with him. It had been set up an a small table in the room. 

The brunette picked up the photo of Amata, he had always avoided it before, not being able to shake the feeling that the woman had deprived him of his brother’s younger years and condemning Merlin to years of hardship. He also picked up the locket that Merlin had placed on the table before going to theatre. Opening it Gwaine looked at his parents and felt tears welling up. 

“Wherever you are I hope you agree with what I have done, and are looking down on Merlin. He’s a great boy but so lost sometimes it breaks my heart. You would be proud of him I know you would, and Mordred, he copes better than I do” Gwaine wiped his hand across his eyes cross with himself “I don’t know what I will do if anything happens to him” he paused “Merlin believes in all this stuff so I ask for him that whoever it is he prays to, please protect him.”

Gwaine fought to collect himself and get control of his emotions. As he calmed someone knocked on the door, it was Gaius, the old man walked in “The nurses said you were here. Are you alright Gwaine?” He looked at Gwaine but not even with a flicker did he acknowledge the tears tracks on Gwaine’s face.

Gwaine looked at his Grandfather “Do you believe in God?”

“I do, in my own way” Gaius said honestly “Not like Merlin, it’s been years since I prayed, but I do think there is something, but it’s difficult when you lose so much. But if there is something I’m sure Merlin is being watched over. He wouldn’t have come through so much to lose him now”

“I don’t but I still asked for him to be looked after! After all Merlin believes and that should be enough” Gwaine sagged under the emotions he was feeling and Gaius sat down beside his eldest grandson. “You know your parents would be very proud of you, this time hasn’t been easy on you. We will know soon, the nurses said Merlin should be in recovery shortly. You have done the right thing, Merlin couldn’t have continued as he was it would have crippled him and he would have had a lifetime of pain. Come on let’s get something to eat and drink, he’s been in theatre for six hours and will need you here when he wakes up”

Gwaine let himself be taken to the canteen, after getting a promise from the ward staff they would ring if they heard anything. As they sat having a coffee Arthur texted Gwaine asking if he knew anything. Clearly everyone was a worried as he was. There was a whole string of missed texts from all the family. Gwaine had had his phone off all day, unable to face the enquiries. Gwaine knew that Uther, Ygraine and Mordred would be in later and probably Morgana as well. As soon as Gwaine had forced down a sandwich and a coffee they went back up to the ward to wait.


	33. Chapter 33

When Merlin was returned to his room he was still very sleepy, he looked so pale and lost in the sheets, and because of the amount of surgery and the fact that he wouldn’t be able to move too much he was on the normal softer mattress. Gwaine knew he would complain when he woke up, but the doctor had been insistent. Gwaine sat by his brother’s side and ran his fingers through the sleeping boy’s hair. Gaius sat at the other side. When Freya came in to check Merlin they both got their first view of Merlin’s leg. It was encased in what the doctor had explained was an external fixator. A metal frame work that was fixed through the skin and into the bone but looked like a cage. Even though there was bandaging around they could see the leg was now straight and the same length as the other one. Something they had never seen before.

They had been told the frame would stay on for six to eight weeks and that Merlin would be none weight baring for several months. He also had internal pins and plates as well as the cage to strengthen his spine. 

As Merlin woke up he whimpered in pain. Gwaine called for the nurse and Merlin was given pain killers. These seem to make him confused and he seemed unaware of where he was even muttering in Hindi. Gwaine continued to talk softly to his brother. Both men heard him cry out for his mama and then looked at each other as they heard the teenager call out for his mummy and daddy in a very childlike voice. 

Even with extra painkillers he still seemed to be in pain, at one stage opening his eyes and looking at Gwaine complained “Hurts stop it!”

It seemed to be his hip that was hurting, this was where the bone had been harvested. Freya called for Elyan who came immediately. After getting Gwaine and Gaius to leave the room he checked the wounds and then used the cannula placed during surgery to give a local painkiller to the area. This would be given every few hours. Merlin seemed to settle after that and once the rest of the family arrived they took it in turns to visit Merlin, as he woke up more they gave him sips of water and then small amounts of food. 

To Gwaine relief Merlin didn’t seem to notice the softer mattress, so that was one less problem to deal with. At seven Arthur arrived having driven down from Oxford especially. Merlin was pleased to see him, but was still confused and seemed to think he was in India at one stage. The doctor told then the confusion would wear off and not to worry.

Gwaine was staying the night with Merlin and after all the others had left and Merlin was sleeping Arthur and Gwaine sat and talked quietly.

“He called out for Mummy and Daddy at one stage, but he also called out for Mama, Amata” Gwaine admitted “Do you think he will remember them?”

“I don’t know Gwaine, but he is on lots of painkillers so I wouldn’t read too much into it. Are you still wanting him to remember?”

Gwaine looked at the black mop of untidy hair on the white pillow “I don’t think it matters anymore, as long as he is happy, after all it was a long time ago and he does seem to accept me and Mordy as brothers now” Gwaine looked at his friend “It hurts sometimes that he doesn’t remember them, but I don’t want him to have that pain, does that make sense?”

Arthur looked at Gwaine and remembered the grief the other man had gone through and how it had nearly ruined him “Yes it does, just let nature take its course and be there for him. You know I still think it was a miracle that we found him after all that time”

“It was, and I will never be able to repay you Arthur” Gwaine said earnestly 

“You don’t need to, from the minute I met Ramesh I wanted to bring him back with me, there was just something about him” Arthur hugged his friend. “It was meant to be”

Gwaine nodded “Trouble is he still wants to go back, even with the life he had”

“You will have to take him back on a visit, but somehow I think he will stay with you. By the way Iseldir will be in the UK next week, he contacted me to ask if he could visit. He asked me as he didn’t want to put you in a difficult position if you wanted to say no.”

Gwaine fell silent for a moment then said “Tell him he’s welcome, I’m sure Merlin will want to see him…….. You know I think that man, along with the doctor Will kept him alive for us”

“That and Merlin’s stubborn streak, I wonder where he gets that from.” Arthur grinned. Then he noticed Killi on the windowsill. “Is he still dragging that thing around?”

“Yes, although he leaves it at home when he goes to the farm, I think one of the pigs tried to eat it once” Gwaine grinned. He then looked serious “Arthur once I’ve finished uni I want to move to the estate with my brothers, Merlin loves the country. Will you parents be upset?”

Arthur looked at Gwaine “Have you asked Mordred? He might not want to go?”

“No not yet, but it is our home. I never thought I would want to go back, but somehow it seems right.” Gwaine admitted “If I’m going to run the place I need to be there really, I’m not cut out for business, I know Uncle Uther wants me to join the company but I don’t think I can”

“You have nearly three years to think about this Gwaine don’t rush it” Arthur looked at his friend “I was kinda looking forward to working with you. Just wait and don’t make any rash decisions now, hell even if Mordred wanted to move, Merlin might not want to, and let’s be honest if he does decide to go back to India once he’s eighteen you won’t be able to stop him. Just don’t make plans for other people or even yourself until you have some idea what everyone wants” 

Gwaine looked at Arthur “I guess you are right, except about one thing Merlin is NOT going back to India. I won’t let him, we can’t lose him again. Somehow we have to make sure of that”  
Unbeknown to either man Merlin was no longer asleep, he was listening to them, at his brothers last comment he whimpered, realising he was awake Gwaine looked at his brother “Hi, how are you feeling, do you hurt at all”

Merlin glared at Gwaine “You promised! You promised I go back, you lie to me!!”

Gwaine looked at Merlin not sure what to say. Arthur leant forward “Merlin, Gwaine was just saying what he wanted, he knows that if you want to go back you will, he just hopes so much that you won’t, that’s what he meant”

“He say I Not go back! Well I will, no one stop me!” he look daggers at his brother “You try stop me and I hate you! You no my family”


	34. Chapter 34

Merlin had been dozing in and out for over an hour when he surfaced enough to hear Gwaine and Arthur talking. At first he just let their voices sooth him and gradually he started to listen. He wasn’t trying to fool anyone he was just to weary to bother to join in. He still ached but didn’t want more painkillers as they made him feel strange. As he heard the two man talk about a move to the country he was pleased, Gwaine had spoken to him several times about the place in the country and had shown him pictures and it looked very nice, he was looking forward to seeing it. Although he wasn’t sure about leaving everyone else.

Then as the talk progressed and He heard Gwaine say he wouldn’t let him go back to India Merlin realised what Gwaine had been planning, to make him forget about his home. If he was honest he had gradually began to settle in his new life and although he often thought about India and going back it had always been in the future. But to hear Gwaine say so clearly that he wouldn’t allow it made Merlin mad. The Brunette had given his word and yet it seemed he had no intention of keeping it. 

To Merlin this was a betrayal, Merlin had always kept his word and hated anyone who lied. Yet here was someone he had come to think a lot of lying to him. No matter what Arthur said Merlin had heard Gwaine with his own ears. 

Gwaine looked at Merlin in horror, he hadn’t realised he had even work up now he had no idea what to say. He wished he had kept a better eye on Merlin and realised he was awake because he knew no matter what he said now Merlin would not believe him.

“I’m sorry Merlin, Arthur is right, if you really want to go back I will go with you, I meant I wouldn’t let you go back alone to live like you did. But I won’t pretend it wouldn’t hurt me I want you to stay and will try to persuade you” 

Gwaine went to take Merlin’s hand but the boy pulled away and repeated “I hate you. Go away I no Merlin I Ramesh. Leave me alone you false person” he had such vitriol in his voice that it cut Gwaine to the core.

“Merlin!” Arthur protested “That is not nice nor is it right, you don’t mean that”

Merlin looked daggers at the men “I do…..go away!”

Arthur looked from Gwaine to Merlin. “Sorry Merlin I have to go soon but Gwaine has to stay, you had an operation today, now I suggest you rest and you can talk about this in the morning when your heads are clear”

Merlin turned his head, he realised he couldn’t move onto his side and also thought it might hurt too much, but he closed his eyes and refused to acknowledge the two men further.

Arthur put his hand on Gwaine’s arm in silent support. Gwaine looked at Merlin then his face fell, he realised he had cocked up properly and risked losing all the ground he had made up with his brother. All for a thoughtless comment. He had meant every word of it but he had had no intention of Merlin knowing, now he would have to try to convince the younger lad that he could trust him. Even if it did mean travelling back to India with him at a later date.

Merlin seemed to drift off again and didn’t wake up when the nurses came in to check him and move him to relieve the pressure on his vulnerable areas. After an hour Arthur left promising to phone his friend in the morning before he went to lectures. Left to his thoughts Gwaine continued to kick himself and eventually went to bed but had a very restless night. In the morning he rang his grandfather and Aunt Ygraine to ask what to do. Gaius said he would visit and suggested that Gwaine go home and allow both of them to cool off. He would gladly sit with Merlin and intended to try to make the young man see sense. 

Gaius also suggested that Mordred come in after school, he seemed to be able to talk to Merlin, since they had first met they had seemed to connect. Gaius knew Mordred would be keen to help mend the relationship. From a stance of feeling jealous Mordred had very quickly found in Merlin a brother who he loved deeply and seemed to understand emotionally better than Gwaine did, perhaps because he didn’t have the memories to confuse the issues. 

Gaius did his best to talk to Merlin but the boy had closed himself off. It wasn’t until Mordred arrived that Merlin at least looked at his visitors. Mordred sat down next to Merlin and took his brothers hand “I know what happened, Gwaine told me”

With that Merlin pulled his hand away and looked to the wall.

“Merlin please don’t be like that, He didn’t mean it like it sounded. He meant he didn’t want you to go back and he would do anything to get you to stay. Gwaine knows he can’t make you stay here” Mordred’s voice had a desperate edge to it. “I might not be as old as you but I do see things. You have to understand what he was like before Arthur found you, he was so angry, so lost and hurt. I didn’t really have a brother until you were found. You made us a family again.” Mordred paused “Please don’t ruin it” Mordred reached out and took Merlin’s hand once more “Ask Grandpa he will tell you, Gwaine used to drink and fight all the time, he hated everyone” he paused “Merlin we love you very much….please try to love us. When you told Gwaine you hated him it hurt him a lot”

Merlin stared at Mordred not sure what to think, then he looked at Gaius who had sat silent throughout his youngest grandsons plea. “He’s right Merlin, although I must admit I didn’t realise Mordred felt that way. What you have to remember is whilst Mordred didn’t remember your parents or you, so he settled into the life without you all, Gwaine didn’t he loved you all very much. You were very close despite your age differences, Gwaine found it very hard. He felt he should have died as well, or worse if he had been with you all the crash wouldn’t have happened. Silly perhaps but he was eight years old. The same age as you when you lost Amata. Gwaine became a very bitter and angry young man. He started drinking when he was a teenager, it wasn’t nice. He didn’t mean to but he shut us all out. When we found you he changed he had a purpose again” 

Gaius paused not sure how much he should say. After all Merlin had enough to cope with. But Mordred had no such worries he wanted his family together and talking.

“Please Merlin speak to Gwaine, he loves you so much, so do I. Gwaine has been so different since we found you we all have you have made us family” 

Mordred had tears in his eyes and that was enough to melt Merlin’s anger. He took Mordred’s hand and then Gaius’s “I try, but he no stop me going to India”

Gaius smiled “Don’t let Gwen hear you talking like that” he winked to take the sting out of his words. “So will you speak to Gwaine?”

Merlin nodded and Mordred whooped with joy and kissed Merlin “Thank you” then he was gone.

Gaius looked at Merlin “Gwaine hasn’t gone home you know, but he hasn’t slept either. You have had quite an effect on us all my boy, changed our lives. Remember it won’t be easy but not talking to each other won’t solve anything.”

Gaius stood up “I’m going to leave you to it, you are a sensible boy and have a good heart, listen to it.”

As he walked out the room Gwaine was walking towards the door, hope written all over his face. “How did Mordy do it?”

“He spoke from the heart, don’t underestimate him Gwaine that boy has a good heart. So has Merlin, but make sure you say sorry and listen to him. I think you forget he may be younger than you but his life experiences make him older in many ways, you will get nowhere trying to force him or ride roughshod over his needs”

Gwaine hung his head “I know Grandpa, but I just can’t bear the thought of him going back, there is so much I want to show him, so much I want us all to do as a family. Merlin has had such a hard life I want to make it up to him”

“Then explain that, but don’t expect Merlin to agree with all your plans. His life experiences, though hard, brutal even, have made him what he is. He doesn’t see that he has missed out. And also for you, remember it wasn’t your fault so it’s not up to you to make anything up. Merlin needs love and understanding more than things and experiences.”

Gwaine looked up in surprise “I do love him!”

“I know that, I think even Merlin knows that, but do you understand him? Or are you trying to force him into what you think he would have been if this hadn’t happened? Try looking at it from his point of view.” Gaius gave his eldest troubled grandson a hug “Go on, but think before you speak


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who want more Morgana her time will come.

As Gwaine went to Merlin’s room he was stopped by the surgeon. “Gwaine do you think I could have a word before you go in?”

Gwaine nodded and followed the doctor. They went into an office and once they were sat down Gwaine immediately asked “Merlin’s alright isn’t he?” 

Elyan nodded “He’s fine although he had a very restless night last night which isn’t good for him at the moment.” He hesitated before continuing “It’s not my place to say this but we have got to know one another quite well so I will, I know what has happened, you need to be more careful of what you say in his room. Merlin needs time to adjust and you are not doing him any favours in trying to project your needs onto him. Gwaine just try to lighten up a bit and give Merlin space, he has had so many changes in such a short period as well as the hospital treatments, and you pushing him won’t help your cause.”

Gwaine looked up guilty “I know, I didn’t know he was awake but I shouldn’t have said it” 

“It’s not just that Gwaine. Merlin is very confused at the moment, he wants to please everyone, he is willing in many ways to sacrifice his own needs to see others happy but I don’t think that’s what you really want is it?”

Gwaine was upset that he had messed up things “No it’s not, but I just hate the thought that after all this Merlin will want to go back” 

“If he continues to be this upset he might well refuse the next stage, to sort out his hand. Despite what Mr Pendragon says Merlin is old enough to refuse to have the surgery, it’s not life threatening. Also Merlin will need to be in a positive mind set to cope with the physio from this operation. He needs all the help from his family he can get and that means not causing him undue stress.” Elyan looked at Gwaine sympathetically “I know you didn’t mean for any of this to happen but it has. And now we need to move on from that.”

Gwaine nodded “Thank you for being so candid, I will try the first thing I need to do is apologise and reassure Merlin”

“Then you need to get some sleep. I know your foster parents are on their way in, so once you have said what you need to look after yourself if you are going to be there for your brother.” Elyan watched as Gwaine stood up and walked out. He felt so sorry for the whole family they had been through so much and nothing seemed to go easy.

As Gwaine walked into the room where Merlin lay on the bed, Merlin looked up and when he saw who it was his eyes went dull and he was clearly wary. Merlin waited for Gwaine to speak. The brunette looked at his younger brother before moving forward and bending down to hug Merlin “I’m sorry Merlin, I really am, I didn’t mean it how it came out. I would never force you to do anything. But I want us to be together as a family so much it hurts.”

Merlin looked at the other man and pulled away to look at his face before saying “You no understand Mumbai my home. It all I know” he paused then waved his hand around “This not home, this strange I no like it” his eyes were almost begging understanding. “I not ……… useful here” Merlin was having problems getting his words out. Everything seemed so much effort.

Gwaine sat back and knelt by the bed so he was level with Merlin. “Merlin you have had a hard life, all because of the crash, I just want us all to be together and I want you to enjoy all the things you should have done.” Gwaine stopped and thought carefully deciding what to say next. “I don’t want you to go back to the streets, you can’t survive like that. But if you really want to go back then I will go with you, but please not the streets you deserve so much more. And so does Mordred, he didn’t know you before but he does now, Grandpa and me we need you as well. But you need to get better first then we will work something out that makes you happy”

Merlin looked at Gwaine but still didn’t speak, he hated seeing the other man so upset, just as he had hated upsetting Mordred and Gaius but he wasn’t sure anymore who he could trust. He wasn’t feeling that good, he supposed it was the operation. He felt his eyes getting heavy and he closed then for just a moment but his eyelids were so heavy he couldn’t open them again. Gwaine’s voice sounded funny he couldn’t make it out then he faded into the darkness.   
As Gwaine was speaking he noticed that Merlin’s eyelids were drooping, then he kicked himself again, all this upset and yet Merlin had only had his operation the day before. As Merlin’s eyes closed and his head fell to one side Gwaine got really worried and pressed the call button. 

Freya came to the door. “Hello Gwaine what can I do for you?” 

“It’s Merlin I don’t think he’s well” he looked at the nurse 

Freya came in and checked Merlin and did his blood pressure and pulse “You two fell out yesterday didn’t you?” she asked

“We did It was my fault I said something I shouldn’t have” Gwaine admitted “I came in to say sorry”

“Merlin is tired Gwaine he didn’t sleep well last night and he has had a big operation. I will get the doctor to come and check your brother but I think it’s just that he’s emotionally and physically worn out.” Freya looked at Gwaine in sympathy. “It hasn’t been easy on you all, don’t beat yourself up about it.” 

Freya slipped an oxygen mask on Merlin’s face “Just a precaution” she smiled at Gwaine “The consultant is on the ward I will get him to check Merlin” with that she was gone.

Gwaine sat by Merlin and held his hand waiting quietly. He realised just how exhausted he was, and he hadn’t had an operation. Once he was sure Merlin was OK he would take Elyan’s advice and get some rest.

Elyan come in and checked Merlin over then he looked at Gwaine “He’s just exhausted, go and get some rest”

“I’ll go in the room here, I won’t settle otherwise, I need to know I am here if he needs me” Gwaine once more blessed the fact that the paediatric unit had the small rooms for next of kin.

Elyan nodded “But close the door and sleep. Do you want a sleeping tablet?”

“No I’m bushed, I’ll wait for Uther and Ygraine then I promise I will rest.”

“We will leave the oxygen on for now and the nurses will keep a close eye on Merlin so don’t worry.”

As soon as his foster parents arrived Merlin quickly explained everything then did as he promised and went to lie down. Uther and Ygraine sat either side of Merlin and watched as the boy slept. Having spoken to Gaius they were careful what they said. But were both pleased to notice Merlin’s now equal legs, even if the metal work did look a little barbaric to them. They were concerned over the paleness of the boy in front of them, but Merlin had always been pale. The nurses checked Merlin regularly and seemed to be happy.

After a couple of hours Merlin briefly opened his eyes and Ygraine gave him some water. Merlin smiled at them both before falling back to sleep. After another couple of hours Gwaine staggered into the room and sat by his aunty, who gave his hand a reassuring squeeze “Don’t beat yourself up Gwaine, it will sort itself out”

Gwaine found tears forming “I hope so, you know he’s not just my brother he’s like my best friend. I love him so much” 

Uther looked at Gwaine and said jokingly “Don’t let Arthur hear you say that!”

Gwaine looked up “So I have more than one best friend!......you know what I mean”

“I do lad, that’s why I know it will all be ok in the end.” Uther told the brunette. “Arthur is beating himself up to, he was after all here as well. Talk to him later please”

“I will” Gwaine took Merlin’s hand in his and smiled as Merlin seemed to grip his.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be longer

Merlin had a surprise visitor the following week when Iseldir visited. He had come to England for a couple of months, later than he had originally intended. But he made sure one of the first things he did was visit his friend. Merlin cried when he saw the charity worker. It brought so many memories back to him. And although he wouldn’t admit it not all of them were good ones. 

Iseldir was also surprised in the change in his friend Ramesh, he was far more Merlin now. He had filled out and lost the haunted look he had in Mumbai. Iseldir had some pictures of Will and the clinic as well as ones taken of the areas Merlin knew so well. Merlin gradually began to realise just how much his life had changed for the better. He missed his old friend and found himself slipping back into Hindi as he was speaking. Iseldir stayed for a couple of days and when he left he promised to visit again before he returned to India.

Merlin and Gwaine’s relationship seemed to have stalled in some sort of half way stage. Merlin would briefly talk to his brother but Gwaine couldn’t get back to their previous friendship, even the others couldn’t get one of Merlin’s smiles. Gwen came closest when she worked with him. But to everyone’s delight Merlin’s recovery from his operation went smoothly and Elyan was soon discussing discharge.

“There is no point in Merlin staying in until we remove the metal work. He will recover better at home. But he is not to put any weight on that leg. So because of his arm Merlin will have to stay in his wheelchair. Can he have a room downstairs for now?”

Ygraine smiled “Of course we have a small room we use as a second television room/snug, we can move his bed into there”

“Ideal then Percy will teach you all how to help Merlin transfer. A nurse can come in and change his dressings.” Elyan looked at Merlin “You will behave and no bottom shuffling anywhere. It’s important so your leg gets its best chance. Percy will work with you every day to strengthen your back and hips so when you can walk you will be ready.”

Merlin looked at the surgeon seriously “Of course I want to walk soon, I have plans”

That made Gwaine look at his brother in concern, surely Merlin wasn’t already planning to go back to India, but he kept his mouth shut not wanting to cause even more of a problem. Gwaine hoped that Iseldir’s visit wouldn’t be a catalyst for yet more problems. Later he spoke to Elyan “Can I take Merlin for a car journey of a couple of hours? I want to show him our proper home? We have a small service lift for the upper floors. Only I think he will like a trip to the countryside. I can take hire a range rover so Merlin can keep his leg up all the way.”

Elyan smiled he knew what Gwaine was trying to do and hoped it worked out “Yes of course. Just make sure he’s careful. You could ask Percy to go with you, I’m sure he would.”

Once Merlin got back to Uther and Ygraine’s house he started to settle into a new routine. His movements were restricted due to the metal work on his leg but Ygraine found things to keep him busy. Gwen made sure she spent each weekday morning with Merlin whose reading and writing was improving daily. He was also progressing well with understanding the culture differences. His language still slipped back if he got upset, but on the whole Gwen was very pleased with Merlin.

When Merlin had been home for a week Iseldir visited once more. The two spent several hours talking in Merlin’s room. The charity worker knew about the problems Merlin was having with his brother and did his best to make Merlin understand just how lucky he was to have been given a new start. But he was very careful not to make it seem he was taking Gwaine’s side. But the visit did give Merlin much to think about. That evening Leon and Lance came to tea so they could meet up with Iseldir. Arthur also came home for the evening. It seemed Mumbai had affected Lance deeply and he told Iseldir that once he had finished his doctors training he intended to go back for another visit and hooped to be able to work in the clinic with Will. It was his hope to be able to become a surgeon and eventually be able to spend time in Mumbai operating on the many cleft lip and palate problems among the poor. Gwaine glared at his friend and eventually kicked him under the table. Lance realising what he had done arranged to speak to Iseldir at a later stage. 

But Gwaine need not have worried Merlin had listened with interest and found himself wondering if rather than going back to live, it might be an idea for him to learn something useful so he too could help like Lance, and travel between the countries, Maybe raising funds and awareness. He knew that he would never be clever enough to be a doctor but there must be something useful he could do. That way he could do what he wanted but at the same time not upset his new family.

After that evening Gwaine found that Merlin had begun to loosen up a bit around him, he wondered what Iseldir had said to his brother, not realising that it was the very conversation he had worried about that had set Merlin off on a new plan. 

The next improvement happened when Gwaine told Merlin of his plan to take Merlin and Mordred to the family home. It had taken a long talk with Uther and Ygraine to convince them that the three Emrys brothers should go alone, and it was only when Gwaine said Percy would also be going that they agreed. 

Gwaine hired a large car and they set off one morning. It was several hours drive and Merlin spent the whole time looking out of the window, amazed at the countryside they travelled through. But was as they went into the estate proper that his face lit up. The green fields, wooded areas, lake and then the hills in the background reminded Merlin so much of his memories of the mountains and countryside of his early years in India that he found himself crying. To start with Gwaine thought Merlin was remembering but it was soon clear he wasn’t but the reaction was welcome anyway. 

When they got out of the car and Merlin was in his wheelchair he put out his arms to Gwaine had hugged him. Gwaine felt his heart would burst and he too had tears of joy running down his face.


	37. Chapter 37

The boys sat and looked at the view for some time, Percy unpacked the car to give them privacy. They entered the house and were greeted by Geoffrey, Balinor’s old butler, who was thrilled they were going to stay for a while. The house had been empty for too long. The lift had been serviced to make sure it was safe for Merlin to use. All the rooms had been aired and Mary the cook was on hand to provide the family with meals.

Gwaine and Merlin were to have their old rooms. Mordred was being given the choice of rooms as he was now too old for the nursery. Percy had a nice room that looked over the view at the back of the house. Mordred had eight empty rooms to choose from but picked the one nearest his brothers. Gwaine wheeled Merlin into his old room. “I had everything left in here, except the clothing which wouldn’t fit, you can get rid of what you don’t want. Your shrine can go on the small table. If we decide to move back here properly I will have the one at Uncle Uther’s brought back.”

Merlin moved straight to the window and looked at the view, then he turned to Gwaine “Thank you” he said with a grin, “It is beautiful here, but why do you have such a big house?”

“It has been in our family for over six hundred years, people had lots of children and servants then as well as entertaining a lot. It costs a lot to keep running but I couldn’t sell it not after all this time.” Gwaine explained. 

Merlin looked puzzled but for now said nothing more. But the started to look round the room touching things as he did. Nothing was familiar but everything was. It was so strange. After a while Gwaine started to show Merlin the rest of the house. Again Merlin felt he should recognise it, but whilst it wasn’t strange and he felt he could make his own way round, he didn’t really feel he had been here before. Gwaine took him to the main entrance and showed Merlin the view. Putting the brakes on, he knelt by the chair. “When I used to get home from school you used to run down these steps laughing. All the time you were gone I used to dream of that, and how happy you were.”

Mordred had been exploring on his own and arrived at the side of his brothers “Mary has food and drinks ready for us, she asked me to get you” then he smiled at Merlin “My bedroom is huge and has its own bathroom!” 

Merlin grinned back “So has mine”

Gwaine rolled his eyes “They all have. The rooms are so big that Mum and Dad had them put in. Only the rooms on the top floor have to share and we don’t use those anyway. If we did the house would have another six bedrooms. They are the rooms the servants used to use years ago.” He looked at Merlin “I can’t show you up there as the lift doesn’t go up that far.”

With that he took Merlin back into the kitchen. Like when they were children Gwaine had told Mary they would eat there rather than the formal dining room, knowing it would suit his brothers better. Percy joined them and they enjoyed sandwiches and cakes.

“Make yourself at home Percy, you haven’t got to be with Merlin all the time. Make it a holiday as well.” Gwaine said. “I know Merlin has to do his exercises but he will have free time won’t he?”

Percy grinned “That he will, depending on what you want to do we can fit it in anytime, but he needs one session of at least an hour and one of two hours every day.” He looked at Merlin “You up for that?”

Merlin nodded “Of course I told the doctor I would and I won’t break my word”

Merlin said it so seriously that it made Gwaine take a deep breath, he was still feeling guilty about what happened and wondered if Merlin was getting at him. Once they had eaten Mordred asked Gwaine if they could look round outside.

“Yeh of course. The gardens are huge and then the estate is four thousand acres. But we have plenty of time to explore. We also have another thousand acres in Scotland, ten thousand in Canada and quite a few houses in his country that we rent out.”

Merlin looked at Gwaine “You are rich then?” he asked solemnly

“I am, but so are both of you, I have the title but you both have enough money to keep you comfortable. I have sorted yours out Merlin, as it was complicated due to you being missing.”

“I don’t want money!” Merlin said “Why do I need it?”

“To do with what you want Merlin, it hasn’t got to be spent but on day you might have your own family” Gwaine grinned.

Mordred spoke quietly “Can we go to Mum and Dads graves tomorrow?”

“Yes we will” Gwaine told his youngest brother. He had a slight problem with that as Merlin’s name was on the grave stone, but it needed to be faced sometime and he wanted his brothers input on what to do. He wanted to replace the stone entirely but Ygraine had suggested having Merlin’s name removed. It would seem strange seeing his brother’s name there now. As was the thought there was a small coffin with a teddy bear resting on top of his parents coffins. After they had had a walk around and the two younger lads had gone to bed Gwaine sat with a brandy and sat remembering the day of the funeral and wondered if his parents were somewhere looking down pleased that Merlin was once more with his brothers and that they were in the family home.

The next morning Percy helped Merlin with his shower and exercises before they went up to the grave. It was a private cemetery where the Emrys’s had been interned since they had been given the estate by Henry the eighth. The two younger boys were fascinated by the graves and it was sometime before they reached their parents, before they did Gwaine stopped them. 

“Now before we visit our parents you need to understand that Merlin’s name is still there.” He looked at his brothers. “We need to decide whether to replace the whole headstone, have Merlin’s name removed or leave it as it is, but add a small note to say found alive”

Merlin looked at his brothers then asked “Who is buried there if you say I am your Merlin?”

“As your body was never found, they believed your body had been eaten up by the flames, an empty coffin with your teddy bear was placed in the grave.” Gwaine admitted.

Mordred’s breath hitched and he held on tight to Merlin’s hand as if to convince himself that his brother was with them. Merlin nodded and then they moved forward and looked at the headstone. Gwaine knelt down and touched the stone. He was after all the only one that remembered them. “Hi Mum, Dad I’ve brought Merlin and Mordred to visit you. I guess you know we found Merlin. Now we have a problem even if it is a good one”

The brunette looked at his brothers “Well Merlin what do you think we should do? You are the most religious of us”

Merlin stared at the grave and read his name along with his parents. “I don’t know, in India we burn the bodies of our loved ones after the soul has departed and put the ashes in the river, air and land, not many have graves like this. Your beliefs are different.” He said honestly, then after a pause added “It’s sort of nice, being able to come and speak to them, a bit like my shrine. Maybe their Merlin is here with them, after all I am not him, not now, I am a different person” he looked at Gwaine “I am not saying I am not Merlin, I don’t know, I think I might be. But does it matter?” 

Gwaine looked at Merlin is surprise he hadn’t expected that. “What do you think Mordred?” Gwaine was now confused

“I think Merlin is right. It doesn’t matter. But I suppose for future generations who look it will be confusing. There is space if it can be done without moving anything I think we should just add something, but what I don’t know. What do you think Mum and Dad would want?”

Gwaine looked at his brothers, they had both been so calm about something he had agonized over. “I guess you are right, I will see if something can be added. What I’m not sure”

As they stood and gave their respects to their parents Merlin thought, as his brothers laid flowers and went to move away Merlin looked at Gwaine “I will never be their Merlin, I can’t be, but even if I am their son I have changed too much to be the same person. It’s almost as if I have been reborn why not put “Their Merlin lies here but his body returned to his family with new memories.” 

Mordred hugged Merlin “We are your family Merlin, do you believe that now?”

Merlin hugged Mordred back “I have no memories of all this, but yes you are my family, we laugh and cry together after all” he paused “I looked on the other street children as my family and they scorned me. I can do no less for you, as you do love me at least” 

Gwaine stared at Merlin “When did you get so wise?”

“I always have been, you just didn’t see it before” Merlin replied. “Mama used to tell me that all humans are family even if we don’t know it. I know people said she was not all there…that she was mad.. but she was just different” with that tears ran down his face “You are lucky to have such I nice place for them…….I know you miss them, but I miss my mama and I always will even if you say she was not really my mama”

At that moment Gwaine realised that his wish for Merlin to remember his real parents and forget his life in India was unrealistic and wrong, Merlin’s mama was as important to him as their parents were to him. If he ever did remember Balinor and Hunith he would always think of Amata as his mother as well. And he now realised that was right. Merlin’s life in India was a part of what made him who he was. Gwaine had made an important step to understanding his brother that would make life easier for them both. Gwaine turned and looked at his parent’s grave and in his mind thanked them.


	38. Chapter 38

The remainder of their stay at the estate went well, as gradually the brothers settled back into a happier relationship. Merlin worked hard at his rehabilitation with Percy. He also spent a fair amount of time going through things in his room. By now even he hoped he would have some sort of flashback to his past. So he could settle things for himself. But although sometimes he had a vague feeling of recognition there were no real memories. He did however love the house and grounds and would sit for hours looking at the views. Merlin was disappointed when the time came to leave, but he realised the others needed to return to school and university. 

Back at Uther’s Merlin slowly got involved in the preparations for Christmas. Ygraine had talked to him about the holiday and explained its significance in the Christian religion. But she also told him that to their family it was as much an excuse to be together and celebrate as a family. Merlin had continued with his own faith and told Ygraine that he had no problem with what was happening and was pleased to be involved, explaining that there were many gods in his faith and always room for more. 

Merlin was excited about the idea of giving presents and decided to make things for people. No matter how often everyone told him that he had money he still didn’t see it as his. But his time was, so if he used that for making things and put love into what he was doing at least he was giving part of himself. Ygraine showed him a book she had on sweet making and they spent hours making different sweets which Merlin wrapped individually and placed in boxes. It was during this time that he started to become closer to Morgana. She hadn’t ended up spending much time with Merlin, her age and other interests had taken over. Although she was two years older than Merlin, she found due to his experiences, he was much more mature than boys her own age.

Then a week before Christmas Merlin went into hospital once more this time to have the metal frame removed from his leg. He was only in overnight then back out. He still wasn’t allowed to put much weight on it but with Percy’s help he was using a gutter frame to walk short distances. Merlin’s crippled arm was making it harder for him but he was a fighter and worked hard. But he still needed his wheelchair for most of the time.

When he was in hospital Elyan had spoken to him about his next operation. “I can schedule it for February by then you should be gaining more mobility in your leg. We will do a very similar thing as we did with your leg.”

Merlin was doubtful “Do I have to have it done?” he asked, knowing if he didn’t his new family would be upset.

Elyan was sympathetic, the teenager had been through so much. So being totally honest he said “No you don’t, but I know you get pain from it and also it does stop you doing somethings, it seems a shame to stop now. It could be done later but at the moment your bones are still growing so this makes it easier on your body.” 

Elyan spent a couple of hours talking through the operation with Merlin. Gwaine came in to listen and in the end Merlin somewhat reluctantly agreed. Even though he wasn’t using his leg fully he had already noticed the difference. Especially in his back pain. He was however not looking forward to the bone graft, as it was that that had given him the most pain before. He went home with lots to think about.

But before all that he had his first Christmas, since he was four, to look forward to. As far as he was concerned it was his first ever Christmas. He loved having the tree indoors and the decorations. And having everyone about. Especially Mordred who was getting more excited by the day. Gwaine told him about the visits the young ones had from Father Christmas and Merlin wished they had someone in the house that still believed such things could exist. All the others found they were enjoying the season more as they watched it through Merlin’s eyes. 

On Christmas Eve the family all went to church for midnight mass. A rare thing for them but Ygraine thought it would add to Merlin’s understanding. She had asked him first if it was something he wanted to do. Merlin had happily agreed wanting to understand as much as he could. It hadn’t shaken his own beliefs but he was endlessly curious. It was the first time Merlin had stepped into a Christian church and he looked round in wonder. It was less colourful than a Hindi temple but he loved the carvings in the stone, and was fascinated by the way everybody worshiped together. 

When they returned home they all went to bed tired by the late hour. The next morning Merlin smiled as he found someone had come in during the early hours and placed a small stocking at the end of his bed. Transferring into his wheelchair he carefully put the stocking on his lap and looked inside and found two satsumas and an envelope. Looking at the envelope for some sign as to who had left it he found none so carefully opening it he read the letter inside. Thankful that whoever had left it had used type, as he was still struggling with reading.  
Dear Merlin,  
This is to make up for all the Christmas’s you have missed.  
To be used once you can walk without sticks and your arm  
is healed. I know it is what you have wished for. They are  
return tickets as your family need you. I thought your brothers would like to keep you company so it is also for them.  
Love, Father Christmas

Merlin opened another smaller envelope and looked inside his face broke out into a huge grin and tears formed in his eyes. Inside was a set of three return plane tickets to Mumbai. Merlin thought if this was Christmas he loved it.


	39. Chapter 39

Once Merlin had got hold of his emotions went to join the others in the living room where they had all gathered around the Christmas tree. Ygraine had made a large pot of tea and as Merlin came in Gwaine made way for the wheelchair. “You had just as well stay in it for now, until we have opened our presents as we have breakfast afterwards” he grinned at Merlin

“I have had mine thank you” he said tears of happiness in his eyes.

“You mean the stocking with the satsumas? No Merlin that was just a token, something we do now we are all grown up and open our presents together” Ygraine told him.

Merlin looked puzzled “No I meant the envelope with the tickets” he explained.

“What envelope?” Ygraine persisted

Merlin went back to his room and came back with the tickets, glad he still had the room downstairs “This” he handed the envelope and contents to her.

Ygraine opened it after looking at the outside, on seeing the tickets she looked at the others “This is very generous, who gave it?” she asked.

No one owned up and all the faces looked surprised Mordred was the first to speak “So we all go on holiday together, that’s great! Was it you Gwaine?” he looked at his brother.

“Not me sprog” Gwaine replied

“Well whoever it was thank you” Merlin said “I for one don’t think it was Father Christmas. And I didn’t hear anyone come in” He carefully tucked the tickets down the side of his chair. 

“Well shall we open the rest? Morgana could you hand out the presents please?” Uther asked his daughter.

It took some time for everything to be opened. Merlin was thrilled with his gifts and everyone was pleased with the sweets he had made. As Ygraine knew about the sweets Merlin also gave her a wooden carving he had made. He had started whittling pieces of wood with Percy and found it therapeutic. He didn’t think he was very good but Ygraine was thrilled with the dragon he had made her. Merlin himself had lots of clothes an ipod, phone as well as new shoes from Gwaine ready for when he could walk outside. His grandfather had given him another gardening book and a set of tools.

As the group made their way to the dining room for breakfast Merlin was overjoyed with what the day had already given him. Uther and Arthur had set the table. They had a simple breakfast but one of Merlin’s favourites boiled egg and toast. “We can’t eat too much now Merlin as we have a huge lunch” Gwaine explained.

Merlin grinned “I know I helped Aunty Ygraine and, Morgana do the vegetable yesterday. And I didn’t know birds came so big!”

“Well it’s been in the oven for a couple of hours already!” Ygraine told him. “So make sure you are all hunger and don’t eat all the sweets Merlin has made.”

Arthur and Gwaine cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher, telling Merlin that they all helped with the chores at Christmas. Then everyone went and dressed before coming downstairs once more. Gwaine checked Merlin didn’t need help as Percy had gone home for a few days to his own family. The he supervised Merlin using his frame to walk to the lounge once more. 

Merlin then sat with Mordred and played one of the younger boys computer games with him. As the other watched and cheered then on. Christmas dinner was in the dining room and Merlin gazed at the table in wonder. With the candles and table decorations it was a thing of beauty. He ate as much as he could as he sat between his brothers with his grandfather opposite. He loved the crackers and wearing the paper hats, which he insisted everyone wore. The others all enjoyed the day so much more seeing Merlin’s wonder at what for the older of them had become somewhat routine.

After lunch Merlin surprised then by asking to watch the Queens speech, it seemed when in Mumbai he had watched it in the clinic with all the other street children. After all the Queen was also Queen of India. After that no one was surprised when Merlin fell asleep leaning up against his older brother. Gwaine gently ruffled his hair with a tender smile on his face. Uther turned to Gwaine “That was a nice thing you did Gwaine” on seeing the brunettes blank look he added “The tickets” 

“It wasn’t me I wish it had been” Gwaine admitted “I would have taken him but that didn’t cross my mind”

“I did it” Gaius admitted “You boys deserve a holiday together after Merlin has finished with the operations. Also it will allow Merlin to make proper choices about his life. I think he will realise he is better off here, but Mumbai was his home for a long time.” He paused “He is a good boy, I want him to be happy and forcing him to stay here is not the thing to do” he looked at Gwaine “He’s no fool Gwaine he will love you all the more if he feels in charge of his life and destiny”

Gwaine nodded “I know, I think I’ve learnt that lesson. We talked when we went away, he thinks he wants to move there with me, and Mordred once he’s finished school. I think the walled garden will become a project for him, if he stays. If he doesn’t will we will face that, that’s if he decides he wants to live in India. But Merlin is family now whatever happens”

Uther smiled “I’m glad the estate will come back to life, I know your parents would be pleased. I take it you won’t be working at the firm then.” There was no reproach in Uther’s tone.

“No I’m sorry, maybe Mordred will, but I want to run the estate and be with Merlin. Whatever Mordred decides he knows he will always be more than welcome to be with us. I was going to sell up but once we went there I saw it through Merlin’s eyes and fell in love with it again.” Gwaine grinned sheepishly “I hope you don’t mind, I do appreciate it and I want to keep the families interests in the company”

“Won’t have it any other way Gwaine. Mordred will be welcome if that’s what he wants when the time comes. To be honest I think Arthur will be enough for now! You two are always trouble together” that was said good naturedly.

Arthur went out side with Mordred to try out his new bike and remote controlled helicopter and once Merlin had woken up Gwaine helped him exercise before they sat down to Christmas tea. Merlin said he had never seen so much food and he tried a small bit of everything before declaring himself full. They settled down to play board games then watch a film before turning I for the night. 

As Gwaine and Mordred helped Merlin into his room they felt closer than they ever had. “Thank you for everything” Merlin said “It has been so nice, can you thank everyone else for me? I forgot”

“I will” Mordred said “It has been good hasn’t it” he hugged his brother “Better than last year, that’s because you were here. It was just right”

Gwaine hugged both his brothers. “Maybe next year we will ask everyone up to the estate? I know I have another two tears at university if I stay on. But I night leave after all if I’m not working at the company I don’t need to. I’m going to talk to Uncle Uther after Christmas. Today has been brilliant.” 

Once Merlin was in bed his brothers left him and the young man was soon asleep, He felt really happy and content and part of his new family at last.


	40. Chapter 40

Time flew round and it wasn’t long before Merlin was walking with just one stick. He was clearly happy and felt better about himself. It would be months before he was fully independent but the progress he was making was sufficient that Elyan talked to him again about having his arm straightened. It took a fortnight of talking with all his new family before Merlin finally agreed. So early one morning he set off with Gwaine to the hospital. 

The operation went well and Merlin woke up once more to find the metal cage but this time on his arm. As with the previous operation it was where the bone had been taken from his hip that gave the most pain. But even so it was just a week before he was allowed to go back to his Uncle Uther’s. In some ways he found it harder this time, as with his leg he had been in a chair which took the weight and he could still do things. But with one arm out of action and the weight of the frame when he moved he felt more debilitated.

As a result his normal cheery nature was less visible and he became grumpier. It was Gwen that seemed to get most trouble as she was still teaching him and Merlin was finding it difficult. After a particularly difficult session with Merlin Gwen asked to speak with Gwaine and Ygraine. 

“”I think Merlin is becoming depressed. He has had a difficult time for the past year and it is catching up with him. I have spoken to Elyan and he agrees that Merlin might benefit from a change is his regime. So I propose that the formal lessons are stopped for now and we increase the amount of time we do other things, clearly he can’t do his gardening at the moment which isn’t happening. And with the winter months it is difficult but what I would like to do is start taking Merlin out for visits.” 

Gwaine nodded “Did you have anything in mind?”  
Gwen hesitated before continuing “There is an authentic Hindu temple ‘BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir’ in Neasden London. I would like to take him there first. They also have a weekly assembly for Merlin’s age group Saturday early evening and I think that would finish the day nicely for him. I know he has been seeing the people from the local temple but this might be nice for him. I know Merlin’s religious beliefs are important to him.”

“That sounds a very good idea. Who do you think should go with him?” Ygraine asked.

“I’ll go” Gwaine said at the same time. “I should know more”

Gwen smiled “I think that would be a great idea. There is lots to see there and they welcome all faiths although the assembly is something he will want to do on his own I think. They split them up during the day by age group. I have spoken to the Temple and they would be pleased to offer Merlin a personal tour and look after him and a guest for the day.”

Once the details had been gone over and a few other ideas kicked around Gwen said “Elyan also thinks a course of anti-depressants might be useful but he will contact you direct.”

Ygraine looked concerned so Gwen added “It might also be an idea to start planning the visit to India. That might be just the boost Merlin needs” 

“He needs that frame off first and his rehab underway but I suppose we could make loose plans” Gwaine muttered.

It was Morgana that had the first chance to really talk to Merlin about how he was finding life and how he thought he was. One day they found themselves in the conservatory together and after chatting together Merlin looked at Morgana and asked her “What do you want to do with your life?”

“Well once I have my degree I want to work for Dad for a while. But one day I want to have a husband and children and I will want to look after them myself, like Mum did. We had such a happy childhood and most of that was down to mum. But I do want to work first and prove I can and once I have children do some work from home. Does that sound silly?”

“No it sounds nice” Merlin said thoughtfully

“How about you? What do you want to do? Have you thought yet” Morgana looked at the boy beside her thoughtfully. She had heard Gwaine’s plans but not Merlin’s.

Merlin stared into the distance then said “I want to go to India first. I don’t want to be ungrateful but it does feel like my home. I want to help the street children but I don’t know how.” He was silent for a minute then said “But I also think I want to be here, you are all………….important to me. I love growing things. Gwaine said about me running the walled garden on the estate so the house had fresh food and we could sell the rest. I feel at peace there.” He looked at Morgana very seriously “I don’t want to travel like Gwaine wants us to. I don’t need to have things just because I haven’t had them. I want to be useful. I have worked all my life, do you understand?”

Morgana put her hand on Merlin’s arm “Of course I do, don’t let Gwaine bully you. He feels guilty that you lived the life you did. There is nothing wrong in him wanting you to have the best, but only if you want it, it is your life” she paused thinking how to phrase what she said next. “I hope things work out for you Merlin, but in the end I hope you decide to stay here in England. Even if it is on the estate. I know I haven’t seen you much but I do like you and I would miss you if you left. And to be honest I know India is important to you but it wasn’t good for you and we all need you in different ways and I think you need us.” With that she hugged him.


	41. Chapter 41

The trip to the temple was good for Merlin, it seemed to settle him. It was also an eye opener for Gwaine who spent time talking to the priests when Merlin went to the group session. Although Gwaine was still an unbeliever in any god he did understand more where Merlin got his comfort and solace. He also picked up an idea for when they visited India. The work put into the temple was amazing and while they were there it was almost as if they had been transported to India itself. Although Merlin pointed out it was newer and more spotless than anything he had ever seen in Mumbai.

Time dragged for Merlin as he waited for his arm to heal so he could have the cast off. The antidepressants took weeks to kick in but he was now feeling the benefit. His relationship with Morgana had also got closer since their talk. Although Merlin was a couple of years younger his life experiences made him seem older, but at the same time he liked having someone nearer his own age to talk to. Gradually he found he was meeting more teenagers when Morgana brought some of them back home with her. Although Merlin had got used to other people at the community farm group they had been people with some sort of disability but with his new set of friends he could interact in a different way and learning more things. 

Two weeks after his trip to London he had yet another surprise. Because of the crash and subsequent life he had no idea of his birthday. So it came as a surprise to find a party held in his honour. And yet more presents. He was now fifteen. Gwaine had even organised a Skype chat with Will and Iseldir. The gifts were mostly associated with the holiday they were to have in India. 

The Pendragons had given everything he would need to take with him, up to and including the suitcase. Mordred and Gwaine had between them given the cost of the hotels and various visits including internal flights. Gwaine had the trip planned in detail but refused to let Merlin or Mordred know all of it. But for Merlin the best bit was his birthday cake with its fifteen candles. By the end of the day he told his grandfather that he had never felt so loved and wanted.

A month later Merlin had his metal work removed from his arm. He had to wear a splint for a time but Percy once more started his exercise regime. The Physio and Merlin were by now good friends. Even if sometimes Merlin got fractious over his exercises and the restrictions on his life. So it was with great happiness Merlin was told the date had been set for their flights. Percy spent time with Gwaine as well as Merlin making sure they both knew what Merlin could and couldn’t do and what exercises he needed to maintain.

“You are gone for three weeks Merlin and I will be expecting good things to happen while you are gone. I will know if you have been neglecting your leg, back or arm. You haven’t finished improving yet. If you go backwards when you’re away I will not be happy” Percy threatened him. 

Merlin grinned at the large man and promised to do as he was told. He had even agreed to take his sticks with him. He had a second stick now his arm was healing, but he knew he had to use that for balance only and use his other stick to put his weight through. 

The improved diet and living conditions had altered Merlin considerably in the past months. He had also gained in height now stood straight and had had a growth spurt. He was still very slender and was still underweight but looked so much better. He was also even paler than he had been, the slight tan he had when living outside had gone. The smile was also now much more in evidence and the haunted look he had sometimes worn had also gone.

It was an excited trio that boarded the plane, Merlin had tried to get his grandfather Gaius to also go but the older man declined.

“I am too old for that Merlin, but I expect you to phone me at least once a week. Do as Gwaine tells you and be good” he hugged Merlin as did all the rest of the family who had come to see them off. 

Even Arthur had made the effort to be there. He handed both Merlin and Mordred a package before they left. “A camera for each of you, I want lots of pictures of you enjoying yourselves. You can also take short films with it as well.”

It wasn’t until they were on the plane that Merlin suddenly realised what was happening. He hadn’t really thought about it. As he was sitting between his brothers he held each of their hands tightly. He looked at Gwaine his face paler than normal “I’m stupid I didn’t think” he muttered

Gwaine frowned “Why?”

“We are flying………” his voice trembled

Gwaine then remembered the fuss they had had when bring Merlin back to England. The fact that Merlin hadn’t wanted to get in a plane. Kicking himself he squeezed Merlin’s hand. “We will be alright, we are all together Merlin, just hold my hand and try to relax. If we are to go to India to visit you have to get used to it, it would take weeks if we were to drive there” he smiled at his brother.  
But once again it was Mordred that helped even more. He opened up this bag and got out something and gave it to Merlin. “Morgana said I had to bring this, she said it is your lucky charm and would help”

With that Mordred handed over Killi, Merlin’s stuffed Dragon. Merlin took it and hugged the toy. Gwaine then reminded Merlin “You also have your locket Merlin, nothing can happen to us now”

As they touched down in Mumbai Mordred took Kill and placed him carefully back in his bag. They got off the plane and collected their luggage then made their way out, as they reached the arrivals area Merlin spotted Iseldir and Will who Gwaine had arranged to meet them. Merlin made his way as quickly as his stiff leg would let him.

“Ramesh! Look at you all straight and looking good” Will said as he hugged Merlin.

Iseldir looked at Merlin with fondness “Is it Ramesh or Merlin?”  
Merlin beamed at both of them “I don’t mind, it’s so good to see you both, I know we have spoken on the phone but it’s not the same”

“I just can’t get over how good you look, and your English has improved no end” Will ruffled Merlin’s hair.

Merlin then spoke in Hindi “I haven’t forgotten my home”

Also speaking in Hindi Will relied “You have a new home now and a family, but you are very welcome my friend.”

They were soon loaded into the car and on their way back to the clinic. Merlin turned to Iseldir who was driving “Can you go past the dump please?”


	42. Chapter 42

Iseldir looked at Merlin but did as he was asked without asking why. Merlin stared at the dump as they drove past, his face masked. When they got to the clinic they spent the next hour catching up before Gwaine said “We need to get checked in the hotel and catch up on some sleep. Will it be OK if we come back tomorrow to finish this?” 

“Of course, how long will you be in Mumbai?” Iseldir enquired

“Just a couple of days, but we will spend three days here again before we fly back” Gwaine explained. “We are having a bit of a tour of India while we are here”

“Yes and the clotpole won’t tell me where we are going.” Merlin complained.

Gwaine looked at his brother fondly “We our first trip is to your beloved mountains”

It was clear to Merlin that Gwaine wasn’t looking forward to the visit. “Thank you Gwaine but you don’t have to come if you don’t want to I can go alone”

“No I’m coming” he paused the admitted “I’m not looking forward to it, after all we will be near where …………….” His voice quivered slightly. “…Mum and Dad died”

Merlin gasped “Oh, look Gwaine we don’t have to go, I’m sorry I didn’t think”

Mordred interrupted “You could stay here Gwaine, we could go together, and we’d be fine.”

“I’ll take them if you like Gwaine” Will offered “I have a couple of days off” 

Gwaine shook his head “No, I need to go, it was a long time ago and they are not there after all. Now come on you two, I’ll call a taxi and we must get some shut eye”

In the end Will drove them to the hotel and the three lads were soon settled and asleep. Gwaine had arranged for them to have a suit with three beds so they were close together. The next morning at breakfast Merlin had traditional Mumbai food and grinned “I miss this”

Mordred and Gwaine opted for an English breakfast. Once they had eaten they walked to the clinic. Merlin showed them some of the sites on the way and also stopped at a shrine to offer his prayers. The sights and smells of the place Merlin had spent his childhood made his memories flood back. He had missed the vibrancy of the city. They spent the next couple of days talking to the clinic staff and Iseldir as well as going around the city, but in a relaxed manner allowing them to get used to the heat, and recover from their journey. They had planned their trip to miss the really humid weather of early March but it was still hot in the 30c. Even Merlin had got more used to the cooler temperatures of England and having come from the much colder weather it was a shock to them.

Then they set of to the mountains. Gwaine had hired a car and found the experience of driving in Mumbai different to say the least. But once out of the city the traffic was better even if the roads could be rougher than he was used to. Merlin and Mordred took it in turns to sit in the front. It took a day and a half to reach their destination. Merlin remembered walking for days and then a train trip. Once there they found the village near Amata’s small hut. Merlin asked for directions and one of the villagers offered to take them, Gwaine hired an old pony for Merlin to ride on, not wanting his brother to risk his leg. The hut was no longer inhabited and the track was no longer clear. It was a walk of nearly an hour. As Merlin got close enough he looked at the hut sadly. It was so much smaller than he remembered. Getting of the pony with Gwaine’s help he carefully walked inside he looked around and sat on the remains of the bed in the corner.

Leaving the villager and Mordred outside looking at the views Gwaine went in and sat by Merlin. “You alright squirt?” he asked putting his arm on Merlin’s shoulder.

Merlin sighed “It’s falling down and it’s so much smaller than I remembered” as single tear ran down his cheek

“That’s because you are bigger, look Merlin it’s not going to be the same your mama isn’t here” he hugged Merlin “Anyway it’s the mountains you loved so much and they are still huge. Let’s go and look at them” 

Their guide waited for them as the three of them walked around. Merlin found the view point he had loved and they sat and looked at the view. Mordred turned to Merlin “When did you leave here?”

“I think I was about six, but I’m not sure, I didn’t know my age until you found me. Mama never knew and anyway we didn’t celebrate birthdays like you do, no money. But I can remember this” he waved his hand at the view. “I always wanted to come back. It was what kept me going in Mumbai. I tried to save to come back but them my money would get taken by either the other boys or the police so I stopped.” 

They sat in silence for a time then Gwaine stood up he surprised Merlin “I asked the guide to show me where the plane crashed I’m going there.”

Merlin looked at Mordred and they both looked surprised “We’ll come” Mordred said. 

“No you stay here Merlin has travelled enough”

“No I come” Merlin insisted. 

Gwaine nodded “OK but if I think you are struggling we stop” and with that he stood up and started walking back through the trees to an open area on the mountain side. It took them nearly an hour with a couple of rests for Merlin and the pony before they got there but they knew they were in the right place as there was a plaque as well as large pieces of metal scattered over a large area. After reading the plaque Gwaine stood tears running down his face. Merlin and Mordred hugged him and they stood in silence until Mordred spoke “I wish I had known them, until now I don’t think I have really missed them” he looked at Gwaine “I mean I can’t remember them”

Gwaine ruffled his hair “Don’t worry Mords, I know what you mean. They were great parents, the best and they loved us all. I never thought I would come here, but I’m glad I did. I can understand now why it took so long to get here and why they said no one had lived, it was quick” he looked at Merlin “You really are a miracle. Hell it was no wonder you were so hurt.”

“I suppose Mama must have seen it come down” Merlin said softly “Then found me” he paused “She told me I had come from back the sky, I suppose I did, I just wasn’t really her boy”

Gwaine looked at Merlin “Oh you were Merlin, I’m sure she loved you a great deal, you were her boy and gave her happiness” all of a sudden Gwaine wanted Merlin to know that Amata had loved him. He understood more than ever that without her he would never had survived. 

They walked back away from the site then sat and ate the food and drink Gwaine had carried sharing it with the guide. That gave Merlin a chance to rest. Gwaine realised that his brother had been hiding just how hard he was finding it. He was too stubborn for his own good, but they had no choice now but to make their way back. Gwaine helped Merlin as much as he could and they waited for an hour at the shack. Before making the final leg of the journey. Merlin’s bottom and back were feeling sore but he made the journey with good temper and grace. Once back at the village Merlin spoke to some of the people who knew Amata then they set of back to the hotel a couple of hours back down the road. 

It wasn’t as luxurious as the one in Mumbai, more of a walker’s overnight stop, but it allowed then to eat a hot meal and rest. Gwaine carefully checked Merlin and was pleased to see no breaks in his skin and rubbed some lotion into Merlin’s muscles to help with the stiffness. Percy had given Gwaine several tubes before they left in case they were needed. Once back in Mumbai they rested up for a day before their next journey, this time by train.

Their next destination was to visit the River Ganges, due to its importance to Hindus and to nearby Benaras, the spiritual capital of India, to visit the temples there, a suggestion from the visit to the London Temple. Merlin was overjoyed at the visit and couldn’t thank Gwaine enough. Both Gwaine and Mordred thought the Ganges was dirty and polluted but said nothing to Merlin as they could see what the visit meant to him. In fact Merlin insisted in bathing in the river whilst they were there. Merlin wanted to take some of the water back with him so they found a small bottle so Merlin could fill it. 

The visit to nearby Banaras lasted three days and they were there for a festival which Merlin loved. Gwaine was pleased at how well it was all working out. As well as lots of photos Merlin also bought some items for his shrine while they were there. Mordred and Gwaine were amazed at the colourful images and temples as well as the number of gods there seemed to be.

The next stop was the Taj Mahal which they all found fascinating then they went on to a wildlife preserve to see Tigers and Elephants as a change from all the culture and buildings. This was a welcome change from the business of the cities. Mordred took more photos here and seemed to find the countryside more to his taste. As did Gwaine who found the intenseness of the crowds and the pure quantity of people a bit much after a while. They were all quite exhausted by the time they arrived back in Mumbai. 

Once they had settled back into the hotel and lazed around for a day they all began to feel more relaxed. They had fitted so much in a short time and with all the travelling it was nice to know they didn’t need to go anywhere for three days. They went to bed early that night. The next morning Gwaine and Mordred had a shock, Merlin was gone. He had left a note on his bed.


	43. Chapter 43

Merlin carefully wrote the note:  
‘Please don’t try to find me or worry about me, there is something I have to do. I promise to be back in two days.   
Merlin’

He knew what he was doing but he also knew Gwaine would never agree. So waking up at six, like always used to Merlin very quietly left the room with nothing but a pair of old trousers, t shirt, hat, shoes he had packed especially as this had always been his intention. And picking up his stick, with his locket already hidden round his waist he set off. Merlin needed to know where his place was in life. He had memories of his life before England and needed to relive that life for a short time before he made a decision. He knew if he didn’t he would never settle anywhere. 

He headed straight for the dump and was soon collecting up plastic and other items he could sell. He was stronger now than he had been but his hands were softer and he wasn’t used to the work anymore. It was easier without his bad limbs, but the stick made life difficult. But at the same time he was reluctant to leave it behind. So he found some string and tied it on his back as he worked. He had found a place well away from his old spot in case anyone looked for him. He worked hard and was soon as dirty as everyone else. Before long it was if he had never been away, the smell and flies as well as the heat just faded into the background. At the end of the day he took his collection to a buyer and got his few coins, then went to buy some food from the street sellers.

Gwaine swore and threw things round the room until Mordred managed to calm him down. “Merlin said he will be back Gwaine. Perhaps he wanted to see someone he knew before. He knows Mumbai, there is nothing we can do”

“Yes there is we look for him!” Gwaine shouted “I am not leaving him out there by himself.”

“I think we should speak to Iseldir first” Mordred was always a level headed boy even at eleven and he knew Merlin wouldn’t be happy if Gwaine found him. While he was worried as well he trusted Merlin to look after himself “If we upset Merlin he might not go back with us”

Gwaine glared at his brother and grabbed the keys to the room “Come on” he said gruffly and headed out of the room followed by Mordred.

They went straight for the clinic and spoke to Will who shrugged his shoulders “We thought he might do this” he said “Iseldir will look out for him”

“Then why didn’t you warm me!?” Gwaine demanded

“Because we weren’t sure, anyway you couldn’t have stopped him. He needs to work things out for himself Gwaine, just leave it Merlin knows what he is doing. Don’t forget as Ramesh he looked after himself since he was eight. He said he would come back and he will, Ramesh doesn’t lie” Will looked at the brunette “Look Gwaine he needs to do this, for himself, to prove he is making the right decision. He said when you first got back to India that he wasn’t sure where he belonged. Personally I think he knows deep down he is better off with you but let him prove it”

“But it’s dangerous out there! He won’t eat enough and could get hurt” Gwaine protested

“Yes it is, but to be honest he is more used to this life than he is yours”

With that Gwaine left the clinic with Mordred in tow. They started to go round the places they visited when they first met Merlin. After a couple of hours they met up with Iseldir.

“I haven’t seen him Gwaine and no one is saying they have either. I suspect he will go to different places than we will look in. I promise I will look later tonight. Go back and wait at the hotel or do something else, there is nothing you can do now” the man said with sympathy.

“Will said you expected this, why didn’t you warn us we could have stopped him!” Gwaine was getting very wound up.

“I thought about it, but it is Merlin’s life no matter what you think, you have to trust that he will want to go back with you.”

“I’m going to the police. He is a minor still” Gwaine muttered

“Sorry Gwaine they won’t help you, surely by now you know their view on street children. You may be an English Earl but Merlin to them is Ramesh. Just leave it and wait. I will continue to ask around and look”

Mordred and Gwaine went back to the clinic, they couldn’t face the hotel. Gwaine disappeared later in the day to look again leaving Mordred asleep on one of the beds. But he came back empty handed. By night time they went back to the hotel but neither slept.

After eating his small meal Merlin went to a couple of places he knew to find a place on the streets to sleep. He eventually found an empty spot and settled down. It was strange lying on the hard ground once more. He led on his good side and curled up and was soon asleep after the hard day’s work. He still found himself ostracised because of his skin colour. He had seen a couple of boys he knew before and they were surprised to see him, they had thought he had died. Those who knew what had happened were even more harsh with him. 

The next morning Merlin woke up stiff and sore. But he made himself get up and go to the tip after eating the small amount of food he had saved from the night before and got a drink with his remaining money. Heading back out to the dump he set to work finding his stiffness disappeared as he worked although his back still hurt from bending over all the time. He saw a child buried under the rubbish as a heap collapsed and tried with other to dig him out but to no avail. Going back to work he felt helpless. That evening as he collected his money he saw the brother of the boy who had died and gave him his money. After all after one more night out he would return to the hotel where he could eat whatever he wanted. 

As Merlin went to settle he was set on by a group of boys so moved on only to be moved on once more by the police. It was an hour later before he found a patch to sleep on. He spent the night thinking and planning, his hunger stopping him sleeping until exhaustion took over.

Gwaine and Mordred continued to look for Merlin, when he didn’t return to second night Gwaine was frantic. So when Iseldir phoned him the next morning to say Merlin was at the clinic, having a wash, and could Gwaine bring him some clean clothes, the relief he felt was indescribable. Gwaine and Mordred set out for the clinic with the clothes. By the time they got there the relief Gwaine felt had turned to anger.

Seeing Merlin sat with a towel round his waist waiting for the clothes was too much for the brunette he stormed up to Merlin and slapped him hard round the face. “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU PLAYING AT, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU WORRIED US!!?” He shouted his face red with anger.


	44. Chapter 44

Merlin almost fell off the bed he was sitting on. He raised his hand to his face tears forming in his eyes. Mordred rushed to his side “GWIANE!” he held Merlin in his arms as her stared at his other brother.

“m’sorry” Merlin said through his shock.

Will stood between Merlin and Gwaine. Glaring at Gwaine “Don’t you dare lay hands on him again! Now calm down and let Merlin dress, did you bring him clothes?”  
“I’ve got them” Mordred said getting them out of his bag. He helped Merlin as Will and Gwaine glared at each other. 

Iseldir chose that moment to walk and seeing Merlin’s red face and Gwaine’s stance demanded to know what was happening. 

Will turned to his friend “The Earl here seemed to think that shouting and hitting his brother was the correct thing to do”

Gwaine realising what he had just done looked at Merlin then at Iseldir, attempting to walk to his brothers Gwaine was stopped by Will “Oh no you don’t!”

“Merlin I’m sorry………….I shouldn’t have slapped you but we have been so worried”

Merlin had dressed and looked at Gwaine “I left a note, I told you I would be OK” he said softly 

“Merlin you are fifteen! I know you looked after yourself for years but anything could have happened to you!” he took a step forward and Iseldir nodded to Will to let Gwaine pass. Gwaine knelt at Merlin’s feet and held out his arms “I’m sorry Merlin but we were just so worried when I saw you something snapped. I shouldn’t have hit you”

Merlin stared at Gwaine his right cheek red and beginning to puff up. Gwaine very slowly brought his hand up and touched it gently, Merlin flinched back as Gwaine’s hand got close “I’m so sorry Merlin please……” 

Mordred put his arms round both his brothers and this encouraged then to all get closer and they hugged. It was a few minutes before they separated. When they did Merlin spoke first “I had to do it Gwaine, I had to be sure. I lived like I used to, working the dump and sleeping on the street. I missed it” he paused “That might sound strange but it was all I knew and I needed to remind myself”

Gwaine looked into his brothers eyes “And?”

“I wanted to know where I belonged, where I should be, what I should do. Do you understand?” Merlin pleaded

Gwaine looked puzzled and didn’t speak for a moment. Once more it was Mordred who spoke “Where do you belong? You are coming home with us aren’t you?” he sounded worried.

Merlin nodded “I had so many questions to ask myself. I needed to let my heart speak………..this was my home……..it still is in many ways” he looked at Gwaine and Mordred “I felt lost before, in England, India was all I knew. Please understand” once again he paused as if thinking how to explain himself “I am torn, nowhere is home anymore, I need to purpose, a reason to live”

“But you have us now Merlin, we need you, all of us not just us two, you………….. you are loved very much” Gwaine said his voice full of anguish and worry. “We can’t lose you now!”

“But what about ME!” Merlin cried out “Does it matter what I want?!”  
Gwaine took a step back, he looked surprised “But surely you can’t want your life here more than with us? With us you can be comfortable and have food to eat, be clean and safe. Love and be loved, what do you have here? Working every day, all day for pence, a struggle to live and sleeping rough with few friends. Being treated like dirt!” The brunette was having trouble understanding. “What more do you want? How can we help?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” Merlin cried out “I don’t know” he put his head in this hands.

“Right lets cool this down” the charity worker said “We need to have a drink and calm down.” Iseldir went and put the kettle on and made them all a drink. Handing the drinks out he said “Look it is clear you need to do some talking. Merlin is back with you and safe. That’s the main thing. Now Merlin you said you needed to ask yourself questions, did you find any answers?”

Merlin nodded, sipping his tea he said “I know I can’t stay here” Gwaine let out a sigh of relief. “But I want to do something useful to help…………I watched another boy die on the tip, we tried to save him, he was about six” he looked at Gwaine and said “Some people have so much and others nothing, I don’t mean you but even here in Mumbai. Yet the street children and those in the slums work hard, why is that fair? Why should I have so much and do nothing for it when I am with you, but here I work hard for nothing but scraps of food?”

“I don’t know Merlin, you’re right it’s not fair. But I don’t have the answers for you.” Gwaine said “But you should have talked to us before leaving like you did”

“You wouldn’t have let me go, I know that, I did leave a letter!” Merlin told his brother. “You hit me!”

Will spoke trying to ease the tension “Merlin there are no easy answers to the problems street children face, why do you think we work here? We want to alter things and we do what we can but this is a big thing and there are no simple solutions. People like you and me we can’t change the big picture just help were we can.”

Gwaine looked thoughtful throughout the conversation between Will and his brother. “Look Merlin I regret hitting you more than you know. But as to the rest I know Uncle Uther and Arthur want to do something and so do I, what about when we get back we all sit down together and talk this through. You will have to accept we can’t solve everything but maybe we can help. You know the problems from the Street children’s side after all. Maybe I can use my title for something other than getting tables in restaurants. That will give us both a purpose.” He looked at his brother earnestly “I promise you we will do something.”

“I’ll help as well” Mordred promised.

Merlin’s facial expression changed as what Gwaine was saying sunk in. He could do something and be useful “You promise you won’t forget?” he asked hopefully “You aren’t just saying that” 

“I promise Merlin, I don’t like what happens any more than you do, alright I don’t understand like you do, I haven’t lived it. But it can’t be right but we can make a start”

“Gwaine is right Merlin, you won’t sort anything out but all change starts somewhere. And don’t underestimate the benefit of having a title behind you, even here in India English titles open doors and make people in power listen” Iseldir gave Merlin a smile of encouragement.

Merlin looked hopeful and excited at the thought of being able to do something worthwhile. Even if no one seemed to have any ideas how they could help.

Iseldir came forward “Look I know your flight leaves in five hours, what say you we all go and get something to eat and talk this through?” he looked at Gwaine “I take it you are packed?”

Gwaine nodded “Yes and the cases are in the hotel lobby waiting for us to collect on the way to the airport”

Will smiled at Merlin “I have a break now as well, there is another doctor here. So lets spend so time together, goodness knows when we will see you again” 

 

As Gwaine went to help Merlin up the younger brother pulled away slightly and managed himself, despite the hug orchestrated by Mordred Merlin clearly had issues with Gwaine after the slap. They made their way to a nearby eatery and sat down together to eat. Merlin sat between Iseldir and Will unwilling as yet to sit near Gwaine. He occasionally touched his cheek that was sore and slightly swollen. The slap had come as a total shock to Merlin and he wasn’t sure where it left him with his oldest brother.


	45. Chapter 45

It didn’t seem long before Merlin was hugging Iseldir and Will goodbye and he was in the plane awaiting take off. He was scared once more and sat between his brothers who both offered a hand. He took Mordred’s willingly but although he took Gwaine’s it was with less enthusiasm. The trip back was a long one for the brothers. Luckily for him Merlin slept through most of it. The two days on the streets and the emotional stress he had been subject to made sure of that. As the brothers disembarked and reached the area where all the Pendragon’s and Gaius were waiting it was clear to those left behind that something wasn’t right with the brothers.

They all put a good face on it for their friends but as soon as they got home Merlin disappeared up to his room saying he was tired. Gwaine explained what had happened then added “I wish I could take it back but I was so worried and then when I found out what he was doing I got angry. The minute I hit Merlin I wanted to take it back. I have apologised but I don’t know if he will forgive me” Gwaine was clearly very repentant.

Gaius was the first to speak “Merlin will forgive you, he has a very forgiving nature just give him time. I expect at the moment he is too tired to think properly”

“I agree Gwaine give him time” Ygraine told Gwaine “He will come round, now I have done some food, eat up then go and rest”

Arthur took a plate up to Merlin, Ygraine having decided for once she would allow it. As Arthur knocked on the door and walked in he found Merlin sat on his bed staring at the wall. “Hi Squirt, I have brought you something to eat” he handed the tray to Merlin

“Don’t want it” came the sulky reply

Arthur paused “Do you want to tell your Aunty Ygraine that? Come on I’ve got mine as well eat up” he picked up a chicken wing one of Merlin’s favourites and munched on it.

Merlin looked up and took one from the plate and started to eat. Arthur looked at the young man he had become so found of “Gwaine told us what happened he is very sorry you know that don’t you?”

Merlin looked at Arthur but didn’t say anything so Arthur continued “How did you find it? Going back on the streets?”

Merlin looked at him “Hard……..but also it was ………home” he paused “I had to do it and I knew he would try to stop me. I wanted answers”

“Did you find them?” Arthur asked as he picked up some more food. “And what did you decide?”

“To come back” Merlin gave the smallest of grins “But I want to help them, I can’t do nothing”

“Well so do I! I have asked dad about setting up a charity but we need to decide what to do. I mean, how do you think we can help?” the blonde asked “I saw what was happening but you lived it.”

Merlin looked lost “I don’t know, but when I was in the mountains I wondered why Mama took us to Mumbai, it was nice there. But the guide says there is no work or food.” Merlin looked at Arthur “Why can’t they grow it like I do at the gardens?”

“But would they be able to grow enough? And whose land is it? I see what you are saying, people go to the city to work but I wonder if they realise what they are going to, but perhaps they have no choice. I think we should talk to Iseldir, he might know” Arthur admitted. “But you do know we can’t help everyone there are just too many, four hundred thousand children on the streets then in the slums the populations are sixty two million people. I looked it up when I got back. You have to realise Merlin that that can’t change overnight. It needs Governments a long time to change that. We can help some but also I think we need to raise awareness” he looked at Merlin “We can try to do something, but at the same time you have to live a life.” He moved forward and hugged Merlin before rubbing his head with his knuckles “Now make friends with your brother, but first eat your food. I promise we will have a family conference about it and see what ideas we can come up with.”

Merlin did as he was asked and after telling Arthur about his holiday Merlin decided to get some sleep. He woke up in the early hours and after thinking he got up and very quietly left his room and walked next door. He was glad he was now back upstairs. He went into Gwaine’s room and but the light of his torch he went to the bedside and looked down at Gwaine. The brunette stirred, probably due to the torch and opened his eyes. Seeing Merlin their he sat up 

“Hi” he said

Merlin looked at Gwaine before saying simply “Hug?”

Gwaine smiled and threw back the bedclothes “Get in then or you will get cold”

Merlin switched off his torch and crept into the bed with his brother and they hugged each other “I’m sorry Merlin” Gwaine said his voice full of emotion.

“I know, It’s Ok I forgive you” he whispered. The two brothers hugged until Gwaine realised that Merlin had fallen asleep. Gwaine wondered if he should carry Merlin back to his bed but decided to stay where he was. It was nice being this close to Merlin. Eventually he to fell asleep.

The next morning when Mordred woke he went to see Merlin, finding his bed empty and cold he went downstairs before going to Gwaine’s room. He knocked and not getting an answer went in to wake him. As he got to the bed he realised Merlin was with his oldest brother and smiled. Creeping out he fetched his camera, the one he had taken on holiday, and went back and took a photos of the sleeping brothers. As he quietly left the room he bumped into Morgana coming out of her room. He motioned her to follow him and when they were downstairs he showed her the photo he had taken. With lots of giggles they went to the computer and printed of a copy to show everyone else when they got up. 

“Don’t they look cute” Morgana told her mother when she joined then in the kitchen.

“They do, but I’m not sure as they will be happy with the photo” Ygraine admitted

She was right. But they both still asked for a copy so couldn’t have been to cross. Arthur kept his word and arranged a family get together to talk about what they could do to help the street children. It took them a couple of weeks to come up with a list that they wanted find out if they were practical and do able. Arthur spoke to Iseldir and Will. Gwaine meanwhile made an appointment to speak to the charities commission with Uther, they also spoke to the Indian Embassy and several children’s charities. Merlin, Morgana and Morgana sat down and tried to work out how they could fund raise. Mordred and Morgana planned to try to sort out something thought college and schools. Then they spoke to Ygraine who agreed to speak to her woman’s group. 

It took two months before they had the skeleton of a plan. It was two pronged. First was to try to raise funds, they wanted to buy small parcels of land in India where they could encourage people to stay in the countryside and earn a living there. Both in growing things and making things that could be sold in the UK to help increase their income. Hopefully stopping the migration of the poor into the city slums. Also to increase the safe places where the street children could live, by buying buildings for them to sleep in safety. It was also hoped to help them find either full time schooling or safe jobs. This would help those who ran away from their families for whatever reason and give them hope. Providing some food free or selling it at a cheaper rate so the boys still felt independent. And also provide a means of saving money where it could not be stolen. Something Merlin was keen on and he said so at one of the meetings.

“I wanted to save so I could go back to the mountains, but couldn’t because it would get stolen, but they would have to trust us. Also I wanted to do things for myself rather than charity.” He explained adding “If there was some schooling at times the children don’t work they might do that as well. Street children want a better life, but they are proud in their own way.”

Morgana looked up “Something like a savings club, maybe with guidance they could employ a couple of the street children to help”

Uther nodded “That could work if some of the kids could write and add up, some could also be employed to cook and keep the places clean.” He suggested. “I was also thinking we could offer scholarships to the brighter children to train for other things, like medicine or admin. They could then work for the charity in India to help others”  
They continued to plan and fund raise as well as getting together the property and small parcels of land they needed in India. Everyone realised it would take time but they were all committed to help however they could. It would take longer than they hoped to set up the first shelter, savings club and school in Mumbai and the first four country areas to help the villages. The first was in the village Amata had lived in. The charities name was the Emrys, Amata Street Children Charity. And its mission statement was   
‘To make the lives of street children in India easier and safer, to raise awareness of the plight of homeless children worldwide. To free them of the prejudice and hardships that they themselves are not responsible for, and give them their childhoods back.’ Eventually of course they would all like to see Street Children disappear as the country grew and cared for them better but this was years ahead. 

Three years later  
Merlin was eighteen and had progressed well enough that he could read and write well. He had a grasp of other things as well including computers. Once he and Gwaine had moved to the estate, Merlin started to work on the walled garden with help of a couple of the others from the centre he had gone to. Merlin wanted to help disadvantaged people in England as well. They set up one of the cottages so the gardeners could live on site and also provided support for them when they needed it. The garden would provide vegetables, fruit and flowers for the house and sell the remainder in a small shop. They also had a few chickens and pigs in a nearby field. Merlin was to split his time between the charity and his beloved garden. His role in the charity was to talk to donors as we as go with Gwaine when they met up with government officials in both Britain and India.

Gwaine had decided to finish his degree and set up the charity headquarters on his estate. With Uther giving advice and support. For the first two years Arthur would help Gwaine but be paid for by Pendragon and Emrys. Mordred was continuing his education and staying at the Pendragons going to the estate in the holidays and some weekends. In fact all the Pendragons spent a lot of time at the estate now. Gwaine also did his best to spoil his brothers when Merlin allowed it. He would forever feel guilty about the life that Merlin had led, even if Merlin himself was happy and content. 

Morgana finished college and decided not to go to university. This had caused arguments with her father but she had insisted she wanted to work with the charity. So after college she had taken a nine month diploma in fundraising. It seemed she was also a natural at organising charity events and getting money from donors. Something her mother often helped at as well. They were a force to be reckoned with. They used both sites in London and for larger events the estate house. Of course Gwaine’s title as an Earl helped attract the large donors something he unashamedly milked for all it was worth. 

Once word got out what they were doing both Lance and Leon said once they were qualified as a doctor and teacher respectively they would be willing to work in one of the centres in India. Percy had also offered his services as a physio for the charity. Everything seemed to be coming together. 

The charity also tried to help the homeless children in the UK, by highlighting their plight. In fact they made sure that everyone knew it was a worldwide problem even of their main focus was India and Mumbai area in particular. Gwaine realised they had to grow in a sustainable way. They worked hard to change attitudes in India itself, knowing that was where in the end most of the action needed to take place. Gwaine managed to talk one of his fellow students for University, who was from a high caste Indian family, to talk to Merlin and between them they got him on board as the charities representative in India. 

Merlin didn’t regain any of his childhood memories from before the accident but fully accepted that Gwaine and Mordred where his true brothers. But something that no one had seen coming was the developing relationship with Morgana. The Pendragon was two years older than Merlin but it was never an issue as Merlin had matured faster than normal die to his life. The couple became increasingly close and on Morganas twentieth birthday they got engaged, promising Uther and Ygraine they wouldn’t marry for several years.  
The Pendragons didn’t care that Merlin was essentially a gardener, he could easily care for their daughter and as long as they were happy that was all that mattered. Several of their acquaintances were surprised until Ygraine pointed out that her daughter was marrying an Earls brother, which was more than their children were. 

EPILOGUE  
It was Merlin Emrys’s twenty first birthday and he had never felt so nervous in his life. This was worse in his opinion that flying! He was sat on the edge of his bed in his boxers and nothing else. The door opened Merlin looked up to see Arthur grinning at him “Why am I having two weddings” Merlin asked with a whine I his voice.  
Arthur laughed “Because you wanted to marry in your religion and now you have to marry in a registrar’s office” 

The ceremony the day before had been in the Hindu temple and had followed a very set pattern. (see footnote) Merlin had continued with his religious practices and had wanted to marry there, He hadn’t realized he would also have to marry in a Registry Office for it to be legal in the UK. Morgana had been more than please to have two events. Merlin thought she had looked beautiful in her white gold and red outfit. He had gone out with Ygraine beforehand and Morgana had worn all the usual golden jewelry. She had been pleased that she had not had to convert to Hinduism. But had thrown herself into the ceremonies but today was the more ‘normal’ British Wedding.

Although married as far as he was concerned the couple hadn’t spent the last night together as Ygraine insisted it would be bad luck. Everyone had been happy to go to two ceremonies so it hadn’t been a problem. Iseldir and Will had flown over from Mumbai. In fact Iseldir had acted as Merlin’s father for the day.

Arthur handed Merlin his trousers “Come on get ready or we will be late” he chivvied Merlin with a grin.

“I should never have had you as my best man!” Merlin moaned, Arthur had been chosen to stop his brother’s arguing, both had wanted the honor. Arthur had taken his duties seriously and was now making Merlin dress in his white suit. Not the Indian style of the day before but a white tuxedo. Once he was in the suit it was soon time to be leaving.

“Have you got the rings?” Merlin demanded.

“Of course” Arthur grinned now come on lets go.” He helped his friend out to the car and to the registry office near the Pendragons home. 

As they waited Gwaine and Mordred stood with their brother. They looked so happy for him. Gwaine had married the year before to a wonderful girl called Elena, so he had sympathy for Merlin’s nerves. His had been in the church on the estate but at least he had only had one wedding. As Morgana entered Merlin looked at her with love in his eyes. She was wearing a white dress this time and looked stunning with Uther walking at her side. 

The wedding was soon over and they left for the Pendragons for the second reception. But this time they decided on a meal only as they had all celebrated in full the day before. Before the meal they had the speeches Arthur stood up and told everyone how he had found Merlin and how he had been welcomed back to the family, adding just enough tales to make Merlin blush. “I end this speech to say Merlin was always part of our family but now he is by marriage and no one is happier than me. I had lots of stories I could tell you but my wife would kill me” he glanced across at Gwen who he had finally married six months previously “I just hope he can keep the harpy, that is my sister, in line. Now a toast to the bride and groom Morgana and Merlin”

Merlin and Morgana stood up together Merlin swallowed a couple of times before saying “We thank you all for coming both yesterday and today.” He glanced lovingly at Morgana “This has been the happiest time of my life, I am a lucky man. Thank you all also for the donations to the charity. Thank you” he turned and kissed Morgana she then added “I am the luckiest girl alive. To think we might never have found each other again if it hadn’t been for my brother Arthur Thank you” 

Gwaine and Uther then said a few words before they all sat down to eat. After the meal the bride and groom set off for their new home having decided not to honeymoon immediately. Merlin was going to take Morgana to India in month, but now the weather would be too hot. They went to the house Gwaine had given them on the estate as a wedding present. Uther and Ygraine had helped furnish it for them, Morgana had enjoyed the shopping. Merlin had used some of his inheritance to buy some of what was needed

After they watched the newlyweds leave Gwaine turned to Mordred “Just you now! When are you going to marry Kara?” Mordred had been seeing the same girl since he was fourteen.

“Not yet” Mordred said with a grin. 

Uther and Ygraine smiled at each other and Uther said “We really are a family now”

Gwaine nodded “Yep, we were torn apart all those years ago now we are a family reborn. I think Mum and Dad would be happy with what’s happened”  
Ygraine grinned “They would, your mum always said Morgana would make a good future husband for Merlin how she used to play with him. She was right. I hope they will be very happy together”   
For your information:  
The Hindu marriage ceremony  
• The ceremony begins with the Hasta Melaap when the bride’s right hand is placed into the groom’s right hand and the priest chants the holy verses.   
• The bride and groom are joined together by a piece of white cloth ‐‐ one end tied to the corner of the bride’s sari, the other to the groom’s scarf   
• A fire is lit in the centre of the Mandap to invite the fire god to witness the union and the right hands of the couple are tied together with blessed thread, their palms filled with rice, oats and leaves to signify wealth, health, happiness and prosperity. These are then offered to the fire.   
• The couple then perform the Lawan Phere, a ritual in which they walk around the fire four times. Each time round, the stop to touch a stone in their path that symbolises obstacles in life that they will overcome together.   
• This symbolises the four human goals in Hinduism ‐‐ in the context of a wedding, these are: faith, financial stability, procreation and liberation of the soul.   
• The ceremony itself follows a very strict pattern. It contains no readings, but does involve music, chosen by the bride and groom. This music is usually a mixture of the latest Bollywood film songs, and some older soundtracks, the lyrics of which are all very romantic.   
• The most important part of the marriage ceremony is the Saptapadi. Facing north, the bride and groom take seven steps together. Each step calls upon God to bless the couple for strength, food, progeny, family, prosperity, happiness and life‐long friendship.The bride comes to the groom’s left, which symbolically leaves his right side free to take on the world.   
• Then follows Saubhagya Chinya when the groom places sindoor (holy red powder) on the bride’s forehead to welcome her into his life as his partner. He also gives her a necklace of black beads ‐‐ a mangalsutra ‐‐ as a symbol of his love, integrity and devotion towards her.   
• The bride and groom then feed each other sweetmeats as a promise of fidelity and to love and cherish each other forever. This is known as Anna‐Prashana.   
• The service ends with the Ashirwaad ‐‐ blessings from the priest, parents and close relatives. They are followed by friends who wish to add their congratulations. after the ceremony   
• After the ceremony, the bridal party sits down to a lavish dinner, after which, the bride and groom play a number of games. During the ceremony, they will have had threads with knots tied to their wrists. They must attempt to untie these knots, which represent the importance of having patience with one another. Another game involves a large bowl filled with red‐coloured milk, in which a number of items have been placed, including a coin. The bride and groom attempt to find the coin and the finder is said to be the person who will be dominant in the marriage.   
• After dinner, the bride says goodbye to her family and friends. This is a very emotional time, particularly if the bride is emigrating or moving far away from her childhood home. The groom leads the bride to the car, and once in the car, the bride’s brother or a male relative covers her with a shawl and wishes her well. The couple stop off at a temple to offer their prayers and seek blessings, before heading off to the groom’s home.   
Hindu wedding traditions  
• Traditionally, the Hindu wedding ceremony does not involve service sheets. However, if the couple have invited non‐Hindu guests, it is usual to have brief translations of the service itself and what it signifies.   
• Guests can wear what they wish, though it is best to avoid black. Men dress in suits or traditional dress. Female guests wear suits, dresses or saris. It is no longer necessary for the women to cover their heads, though elderly and orthodox Hindus still tend to do so.   
• The bride traditionally wears a fine, white sari with red and gold embroidery, traditionally given her by her maternal uncles. During the celebrations, she will put on a red sari, a gift from the groom’s family. The white sari represents purity, the red sari fertility. The bride wears ornaments in her hair, her arms are covered with bracelets and she wears a gold band around her waist and anklets of gold on her feet.   
• The groom wears a lounge suit or traditional Indian dress, which consists of a Nehru jacket and traditional trousers in white or ivory.   
The day before the wedding  
• The day before the wedding, the bride has the palms of her hands and her feet painted with elaborate henna designs. This event is like a hen party, though without alcohol. The bride’s family and friends have their hands and feet painted too, though the focus is on celebration, rather than decoration.   
• A canopy of flowers is put up at the venue for the wedding.   
• The priest who will officiate at the service conducts the Ghari Puja on the eve of the wedding, in both bride and groom’s homes. This is a ritual of prayers to welcome in the new life together, to get rid of evil and to confer prosperity on the couple.   
On the big day  
• It is considered unlucky for the groom to see the bride on the wedding day. He arrives at the wedding venue in a cavalcade of cars, where a number of rituals are performed. When the groom gets out of his car, the bride’s mother and family welcome him. The bride’s mother places a small round red dot on his forehead and gives him a garland of flowers, to signify her approval of the wedding. In a traditional game, the bride’s female relatives and friends try to snatch the garland from his neck and to steal his shoes. They then demand a ‘ransom’ for their release.   
• The bride’s mother then accompanies him to the Mancap or canopy where the ceremony is conducted. His sisters follow behind him shaking a metal pot covered by a white handkerchief containing rice and coins to ward off evil spirits.   
• Before entering the venue, the groom steps on a small terracotta bowl, to signify his virility and strength. While he waits for the bride to arrive, his feet are washed by her mother and father.   
• The bride is accompanied to the wedding venue by her maternal uncles. She is either carried by them or walks between them. She enters to music of her own choice.   
• The ceremony begins with the Hasta Melaap when the bride’s right hand is placed into the groom’s right hand and the priest chants the holy verses.   
• The bride and groom are joined together by a piece of white cloth ‐‐ one end tied to the corner of the bride’s sari, the other to the groom’s scarf   
• A fire is lit in the centre of the Mandap to invite the fire god to witness the union and the right hands of the couple are tied together with blessed thread, their palms filled with rice, oats and leaves to signify wealth, health, happiness and prosperity. These are then offered to the fire.   
• The couple then perform the Lawan Phere, a ritual in which they walk around the fire four times. Each time round, the stop to touch a stone in their path that symbolises obstacles in life that they will overcome together.   
• This symbolises the four human goals in Hinduism ‐‐ in the context of a wedding, these are: faith, financial stability, procreation and liberation of the soul.   
• The ceremony itself follows a very strict pattern. It contains no readings, but does involve music, chosen by the bride and groom. This music is usually a mixture of the latest Bollywood film songs, and some older soundtracks, the lyrics of which are all very romantic.   
• The most important part of the marriage ceremony is the Saptapadi. Facing north, the bride and groom take seven steps together. Each step calls upon God to bless the couple for strength, food, progeny, family, prosperity, happiness and life‐long friendship.The bride comes to the groom’s left, which symbolically leaves his right side free to take on the world.   
• Then follows Saubhagya Chinya when the groom places sindoor (holy red powder) on the bride’s forehead to welcome her into his life as his partner. He also gives her a necklace of black beads ‐‐ a mangalsutra ‐‐ as a symbol of his love, integrity and devotion towards her.   
• The bride and groom then feed each other sweetmeats as a promise of fidelity and to love and cherish each other forever. This is known as Anna‐Prashana.   
• The service ends with the Ashirwaad ‐‐ blessings from the priest, parents and close relatives. They are followed by friends who wish to add their congratulations. after the ceremony   
• After the ceremony, the bridal party sits down to a lavish dinner, after which, the bride and groom play a number of games. During the ceremony, they will have had threads with knots tied to their wrists. They must attempt to untie these knots, which represent the importance of having patience with one another. Another game involves a large bowl filled with red‐coloured milk, in which a number of items have been placed, including a coin. The bride and groom attempt to find the coin and the finder is said to be the person who will be dominant in the marriage.   
• After dinner, the bride says goodbye to her family and friends. This is a very emotional time, particularly if the bride is emigrating or moving far away from her childhood home. The groom leads the bride to the car, and once in the car, the bride’s brother or a male relative covers her with a shawl and wishes her well. The couple stop off at a temple to offer their prayers and seek blessings, before heading off to the groom’s home.   
Hindu wedding traditions  
• Traditionally, the Hindu wedding ceremony does not involve service sheets. However, if the couple have invited non‐Hindu guests, it is usual to have brief translations of the service itself and what it signifies.   
• Guests can wear what they wish, though it is best to avoid black. Men dress in suits or traditional dress. Female guests wear suits, dresses or saris. It is no longer necessary for the women to cover their heads, though elderly and orthodox Hindus still tend to do so.   
• The bride traditionally wears a fine, white sari with red and gold embroidery, traditionally given her by her maternal uncles. During the celebrations, she will put on a red sari, a gift from the groom’s family. The white sari represents purity, the red sari fertility. The bride wears ornaments in her hair, her arms are covered with bracelets and she wears a gold band around her waist and anklets of gold on her feet.   
• The groom wears a lounge suit or traditional Indian dress, which consists of a Nehru jacket and traditional trousers in white or ivory.   
The day before the wedding  
• The day before the wedding, the bride has the palms of her hands and her feet painted with elaborate henna designs. This event is like a hen party, though without alcohol. The bride’s family and friends have their hands and feet painted too, though the focus is on celebration, rather than decoration.   
• A canopy of flowers is put up at the venue for the wedding.   
• The priest who will officiate at the service conducts the Ghari Puja on the eve of the wedding, in both bride and groom’s homes. This is a ritual of prayers to welcome in the new life together, to get rid of evil and to confer prosperity on the couple.   
On the big day  
• It is considered unlucky for the groom to see the bride on the wedding day. He arrives at the wedding venue in a cavalcade of cars, where a number of rituals are performed. When the groom gets out of his car, the bride’s mother and family welcome him. The bride’s mother places a small round red dot on his forehead and gives him a garland of flowers, to signify her approval of the wedding. In a traditional game, the bride’s female relatives and friends try to snatch the garland from his neck and to steal his shoes. They then demand a ‘ransom’ for their release.   
• The bride’s mother then accompanies him to the Mancap or canopy where the ceremony is conducted. His sisters follow behind him shaking a metal pot covered by a white handkerchief containing rice and coins to ward off evil spirits.   
• Before entering the venue, the groom steps on a small terracotta bowl, to signify his virility and strength. While he waits for the bride to arrive, his feet are washed by her mother and father.   
• The bride is accompanied to the wedding venue by her maternal uncles. She is either carried by them or walks between them. She enters to music of her own choice.


End file.
